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How to relax at weekends?

(9 Posts)
lifesobeautiful Sun 30-Mar-14 21:45:33

I seem to find weekends are often far less relaxing than my weekdays, and I'm wondering how to improve them.

I'm a SAHM. My DH is a lawyer who works very long hours. I am very much the primary care giver and (loathe to say it) housewife. We have a DS, 3.5, and a DD, 10 months. I do the vast majority of the housework, as my DH is at work till at least 9pm every night. Generally we work well together and have a fun, happy time.

HOWEVER, I just find at weekends that things get a bit chaotic and unsettled - and not in a fun way. It's hard to describe it but I find I'm constantly wondering what we should all be doing. I want my DH to be able to relax, read the paper. But then I feel like he should also be spending tons of time with the kids as he doesn't see them during the week. I oscillate between thinking that he should be playing with DS, taking him out to play football, scooter, etc but also thinking DS needs to let him have a bit of space to read his ipad and relax. Then I find myself asking my DH to get off his ipad and play. Aaaarghh!! It's hard to put exactly how it is into words! I find during the week it's just calmer somehow.

There's also this kind of sense of competition between the two of us about who needs to get some time off and relax.

Does anyone else find this? And does anyone have any tips to improve it?

JoinTheDots Sun 30-Mar-14 21:48:33

Sounds exactly like my house. Not sure I have any advice though - I feel slightly resentful when I am playing for ages with the DCs and DH is reading or watching something he has taped on the TV, but at the same time, if he is playing with them for ages, I feel guilty for not letting him rest. One of my friends said she found regimenting the weekends worked well, so Saturday was her day off, and Sunday was his. They split it equally, but I thought it was a bit odd and didn't really allow for things like seeing friends and doing things as a family.

lifesobeautiful Sun 30-Mar-14 22:04:16

Feel your pain JoinTheDots - but also glad I'm not alone! That is weird to have the whole of Saturday or the whole of Sunday off, because (tempting as that sounds!), like you say, when do you do stuff as a family? But maybe regimenting, or having sections off, is a good idea. So we know where we stand.

I read some advice somewhere once about how when you're at home you should dedicate at least one hour of the morning to solid playing. Then you feel more relaxed and less guilty about letting the kids play while you do housework, make phone calls etc during the rest of the day. Not to say you then don't play, read for the rest of the day - but just that you've given at least one solid block of attention. And I do that during the week when we're at home. I'm thinking we should maybe do that at the weekends as well, both of us.

Bedsheets4knickers Sun 30-Mar-14 22:17:27

I feel the same, it feels like I use dp as a baby sitter at the wkend so I can get jobs done. I then feel guilty because he has his own stuff to do but doesn't get chance because I've off loaded the kids . I'm not getting a break either I'm scrubbing toilets or changing beds or a million other tasks. Mine are 3.5 and 17 months . It's gota settle dine at somepoint........,right???

Cbell Mon 31-Mar-14 19:39:21

This is us. I recently realised that despite loving my DH that I often find Monday quite relaxing. We have a routine that provides a structure to the day whereas on the weekend we try to fit too much in and often end up feeling tired and overwhelmed.

WhatsTheWordHummingbird Mon 31-Mar-14 19:42:09

We take a morning each to ourselves. I get Saturday am to lie in etc and dh takes dd to the pool. We reconvene at lunchtime. Sunday dh lays in and dd and I watch a movie or go for a walk and again, we reconvene for lunch. She goes to bed at seven so even lunchtime til then is still a good seven hour chunk to spend together.

mustardtomango Mon 31-Mar-14 19:49:56

I know how you feel... Though tbh, despite loving dh deeply and admiring him as a father, I think he gets in the way of the structure I worked so hard to find with ds. Also, when he's home I spend almost the whole time flitting in my mind about how it should be, who doing what, I most often I find myself getting angry... sad I think we just need to make the most of the time, but how to do that can be elusive

Nevercan Mon 31-Mar-14 21:09:15

We have lay in each - one sat and one sun. On Sat morning hubbie goes to golf and Sat afternoon I go off for a swim. Sunday we try and spend together as a family either at home or out and about

bloob Thu 03-Apr-14 21:15:27

Yes! This is us! I have no idea how to fix it but am avidly watching for ideas.

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