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does this make me a bad mummy?(3 Posts)
DS has scarlet fever and this is the first illness he's ever been ill (he's 20mo), so I know we've been lucky. I was off work the last two days looking after him.
When I used to imagine being off with a poorly baby I used to think about how patient and caring and loving I'd be. In reality, they were the two most suffocating and boring days of my life as a mum so far I think, and it's made me feel really guilty.
Am sure you all know what it's like - I basically couldn't put him down for over 48 hrs. He wasn't all that ill (no temp, just bad rash), just tired and clingy and just ON ME ALL THE TIME, including all night, sleeping ON MY HEAD.
I feel terrible. I think I managed to be lovely to him but inside I wanted to shake him off and leave the house.
I think that being 8wks pg, exhausted, nauseous and generally feeling sorry for myself didn't help.
DS wouldn't go to DP at all, and rather than see this is an expression of how much I'm needed and loved by DS, and proof that when anyone is ill it's their mummy that they need, and ONLY their mummy, I just resented it
I think I just need some sleep and a break, but it was a bit of a shock not to feel like this Florence Nightingale figure I always thought I'd be..
Children being I'll is fricking exhausting! And that's without being in your first trimester give yourself a pat on the back for getting through it and go easy on yourself. Can you have some "time off" when ds is better? sounds like you need it. I'm sure you're a fan mum, just understandably tired. Hope ds feels better soon
It's ok to feel pissed off that you can't pass DC to your partner for a break. Even when not pregnant, tired and nauseous, looking after a poorly child is exhausting, even when you share the load with a partner, when DC refuses to be parted from you it's a nightmare. Yes it is proof of how much they love you & how safe you make them feel, but it's hard remembering that at the time. Once this has passed, you'll be happy to think of how there are times when only mummy will do, but at the moment it's ok to feel resentful, and it doesn't make you a bad mother, only a human one.
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