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Ds always grumpy again!! Never seems happy

(18 Posts)
C4ALR Sun 23-Mar-14 03:12:43

My ds is now 15 weeks old, when he was newborn he suffered with colic badly untill he's was approx 11weeks old literally every time he was awake he was crying. This got better now hes become grumpy all the time again, I can't put him down, dh and my mum cants even settle him which normally they can ! He had began getting into a routine at night bath 6:45 sleep by 7:45 wake about 11:00 feed back to sleep till 3:30ish feed then wake again around 6, but the last couple of days/nights he's such hard work, cries soon as he's put down, has broken sleep. I don't know what to do, is there something really wrong should I take him to doctors ??

I'm sooo tired and need some advice please

Naady Sun 23-Mar-14 03:25:39

Hi, no great pearls of wisdom from me, I'm afraid, just wanted to say that new babies are very hard work and you are not alone in finding it hard going. Sometimes we get caught up with setting routines and when this is disrupted we think we've failed. Is he too warm, too cold? Colic playing up again? Could you bring him in bed with you? I know others will disagree but sometimes it's the only way to get some sleep. You are not alone. Hope things settle.

Chells Sun 23-Mar-14 04:08:45

My DD1 had colic until nearly 17 weeks which mostly manifested as being a grumpy little moo ( with a fair bit of yelling and refusing to settle)!from about 2:30pm until 8pm... Possible it's still colic with your LO?! Revert back to all of your 'colic' style parenting and see what happens... It's horrid when they are obv not themselves and you don't know why hmm
Consult doctor/ health visitors if you're really worried hon!
Repeat the mantra: "this too shall pass"!

Sunnysummer Sun 23-Mar-14 06:35:10

DS was similar, things got a lot better around the 4 month/18week mark, got much better again when he started crawling properly at 8 months and have improved to the point where at 11 months everyone comments on how he's such a sunny natured little chap, (although he does have a bit of a temper)! Of course I bet all that feels a long way away for you right now hmm

If she is otherwise well, feeding properly, bappies normal, no fever, then Id suspect it's just a stage. Often DS fors through the grumps again before he either makes a big leap or gets a new tooth.

Have you read the Wonder Weeks or the Fussy Baby Book? Neither is a magical cure-all, but both can make sense of the reasons for the grumps, and make you feel a bit more normal when all the babies around you seem so placid --and boring but also lovely--wink

C4ALR Sun 23-Mar-14 08:10:22

I didn't think the colic would flare up again I thought once it was sorted out that would be it, he use to scrunch his legs up with the colic but he doesn't now.

I think he is teething possibly cos his hands are in his mouth constant and he keeps chewing my shoulder. It just feels since he was born he's always been hard work and upset about something.

As with sleeping I have resorted to the sofa again, I spent the first 10/11 weeks on the sofa because wen he wakes in the night he gets upset and it's hard to settle him, only way is for me to be either have him laid on me or very very close, I'm bf too which is difficult cos dh can't help as much

Sunnysummer Sun 23-Mar-14 08:41:29

I've been where you've been, it is really hard work! thanks for you.sad

Really really importantly though, if you are sleeping together please avoid the sofa - it is by far more dangerous than a properly set up bed (many of the so called 'cosleeping' SIDS deaths are actually on sofas, the risk of smothering is significant).
We are still cosleeping for part of the night to save my sanity, there are great guidelines at cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/.

Even though you are bfing, can your DH step up in other ways? For a start, HE should be on the sofa if needed, or a spare/inflatable mattress. My DH would often take DS for an hour before he left for work, which gave me some time to catch up on sleep or at least have a shower and read a book in peace. Other DHs do the cooking, or take any wakings between bedtime and the first feed? It can be hard at the beginning as they are not so used to each other, but I wish we had done more of this early on! Or do you have family or even paid help who could give you an hour or two off during the day?

It's exhausting when the grizzling is constant, and it's easy to start feeling like that is their personality (it isn't!) or that you are failing (you aren't!).

C4ALR Sun 23-Mar-14 08:50:42

My dh does help like u say with the cooking and he will look after ds so I can have a bath or do what ever but when ds is like he is now it's only me that can settle him and I even though my dh tells me to go to bed or pop out for an hour I can't I feel bad, I couldn't go to sleep if I could hear ds crying. I do get help, I also see my mum 5/7 days for a few hours a day so it's not like I'm on my own... Sounds like iv got loadsa help and still moaning sad it just wears you down some days doesn't it x

C4ALR Sun 23-Mar-14 08:56:43

And also yes it does feel like this is his personality and what makes me feel worse I'm deputy of a children's nursery and I thought I'd cope easy but I feel like I'm doing so much which we tell our parents not to do, like picking him up all the time x

Sunnysummer Sun 23-Mar-14 09:16:30

I used to be a nanny and thought the same! confused

They're so little at this age, I think that picking them up is instinctive and natural and surely less harmful in the long run than leaving a tiny baby in distress. I'm not a full on attachment parent, but we really did find the Dr Sears fussy / 'high needs' baby approach calming for this - it helps to know that you're not all alone in the trenches! www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/what-high-need-means-story-about-our-high-need-baby

Hope this phase is over soon! Even with all the help in the world this stage is exhausting.

C4ALR Sun 23-Mar-14 09:18:40

I will have a look at it, thanks for the reassurance that I'm not the only one going through this

I'm not sure what age a baby can begin to self soothe so I think to leave ds to cry it may do more harm than good

IWillOnlyEatBeans Sun 23-Mar-14 19:18:13

Sounds like he is gearing up for the 4 month growth spurt! He might need some extra milk for a week or so to get him through. And lots of cuddles of course. It will pass, I promise!

rosiedays Sun 23-Mar-14 19:40:51

Op flowers
Unfortunately your dc didn't read the same books as you. smile
It's not wrong to pick your baby up and cuddly hin. Get a sling and carry him as much as he needs. Xx
Some lovely advice from pp's.
Please check out co sleeping safety guidance. . I couldn't cope without co sleeping. (Dd 8 months)
Sounds like you have lovely support which is fab use it wisely.
Maybe chat to a bf councillors, it's bloody hard work!
It's very different looking after a baby 24/7 with sleep deprivation than working in a nursery.
You're doing great. Xx

rosiedays Sun 23-Mar-14 19:42:49

Oh and please don't try cio. sad

C4ALR Sun 23-Mar-14 20:48:11

CIO? What's that? Think I'm being silly smile

Thanks for the nice replys nice to hear someone tell u ur doing ok part from ur lived ones cos they have to x

rosiedays Mon 24-Mar-14 07:28:53

Cio is cry it out. When a baby is left to just cry till it stops. Imo it's very cruel.

C4ALR Mon 24-Mar-14 08:22:20

Oh! No I don't like it either at all, especially this young like I say I don't think babies this young even know how to self soothe, I read somewhere that they only stop crying because they give up waiting for someone to come not because they are actually ok and if left a lot it can damage there emotional development

rosiedays Mon 24-Mar-14 12:29:07

Hope your having a better day op. smile

C4ALR Mon 24-Mar-14 17:06:56

Thanks, he is a little better, iv been to my nans this afternoon so had bit of a break smile

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