Weddings and costs

[Bedsheets4knickers]

I know it's not really a parenting issue, have no idea where to post this.
Can I ask you to be honest.... How many of you regret the amount you spent on your wedding?? And why?? And how much??
It's not a question of how much you love your hubby just was it worth the day???
I'm asking because my friends wedding is already amounting to 26k they still have stuff to buy.
Will they get to enjoy the 26k

[Bedsheets4knickers]

I'm asking really because my partner and myself are discussing taking the plunge. We have 2 dcs. We could do 26k by 2016 we are in no rush. Is 26k standard?? Just getting pressure from both sides of the family .

[Theyaremysunshine]

I have never understood this. But then I'd no desire for the big white thing anyway.

DH and I went away for a month 5* around the world for a month and got married whilst away with a simple ceremony and just his mum there (at my request).

It was a lovely day and a wonderful trip. Announced our marriage on return, hadn't told anyone about it beforehand, didn't do party on return. We both viewed it as starting a married life, not a need for a "special day". Each to their own.

We spent about £6000.

Absolutely no regrets.

[Theyaremysunshine]

That money was for the entire trip btw.

[CurlsLDN]

£26k is above average. If you pick up any wedding magazine they nearly always have a budget section, that will give you an idea of average spend on different elements.

We spent £15k for a wedding in Devon for £100 guests. We did the full big white dress, flowers etc etc, and put 60 people up and fed them for the whole weekend. I loved wedding planning so we did choose absolutely everything ourselves and negotiated with every supplier, which kept costs down, but I could have done it for £10k if we'd decided not to splurge on things like a top photographer and free flowing booze.

I don't regret a penny of it, best money we ever spent

[Smerlin]

We had a big white wedding but did it for £9k by organising all suppliers ourselves rather than using venue packages. IMO couldn't tell the difference between ours and more expensive ones we've been to (apart from one we went to which was fillet steak and vintage wines)

Much better to spend the £ on the honeymoon if you have it as we did as that can be your trip of a lifetime to remember together.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

We spent 20k on the wedding and 12k on the honeymoon. We don't regret a penny.

[EdithWeston]

Well, I hope your friends do enjoys their £26k wedding, because it's a heck of a lot of costly eggs in one basket.

Nor is not a standard amount. If yu are buying the typical "industrial" wedding with few variations on a very limited set of themes, them to probably could easily send that much. But the weddings very likely to be almost indistinguishable from those of ever uptime else who reads the current mags or popular web pages.

You do not have to do it like that. Think of your wedding instead as being the smart version of how you would usually throw a party. That's a way to minimise stress, and (probably) expense.

[changedToday]

We did the whole thing inside a few months and under 2K (wild guess, my parents brought the drinks for the reception!). I would not measure a relationship by the money spent on the wedding. It's the overall marriage that counts.

We'd been together for 15yrs and serious illness of a close relative made me realise we were, in a way running out of time. So finally decided just to go for it and get the piece of paper. Therefore it was a small family affair, arraged as soon as we could get a suitable Saturday slot at the registry office. So it was just the ceremony followed by posh meal for parents and sibling families only (12), evening reception for about 40 at home. No regrets, relaxed day we enjoyed and I would do it again. I made the cake. It was right at the time and right for us. I even managed to wear my not white dress again at my sisters wedding, now she did go for a more lavish set-up.
My DD1 was born 9 months after our lovely day and plenty of guests came from out of town to stay overnight even though they were 'only' attending a reception at home, some did come to the ceremony and rejoined us later.

No pressure from either family, certainly not regarding the wedding, I think they had assumed we'd never tie the knot anyway!

You need to work out what's right for you, your priories and essentially your finances. Do you really have that kind of money to blow on one day just because (possibly) someone else thinks/tells you that you should?

[Famzilla]

Ours cost about £500 and we had a great day. We are young and already have a child together so couldn't be fussed with the whole white wedding thing. Plus I think the whole wedding industry is extortionate.

[TheFabulousIdiot]

The things that put the price sky high are.

Catering for hundreds of people
Chair covers
Drinks bills
Fancy venue.

If you are going to be holding a wedding where every extended family member will be expected to be invited to the reception then it's going to mount up.

I know people who's parents are paying for them and the costs have mounted as all the cousins and their children and their spouses have been put onto the guest list, not to mention friends of the bride and groom's parents.

I think you have to commit to this kind of wedding and just accept that if you want the fancy vintage cars, the seat covers, the themed tables, the £1000 wedding dress, several bridesmaids and so on then it's probably going to cost a fortune. Particularly if you buy into the venues where they provide the meal, the reception venue, the drinks, the wedding photographer etc.

I regretted not spending more to be honest but probably only spent £3000 if that.

[Bedsheets4knickers]

That's the thing they havnt got the 26k they are taking out loans to pay for it. They forgot to include the VAT for 1 thing . Honeymoon they are hoping to get from gift donations from guests.

[Bedsheets4knickers]

I havnt got 26k to blow on one day. We could save 26k my partner has good job but I wouldn't spend 26k on one DAY, it's crazy .
Ideally I'd like to do it for under 10k if we do bow down to peer pressure.

[mymiraclebubba]

Set your budget and then plan around it. I spent 3.5k and it lasted less than 2 years as I discovered very quickly after we married what a complete arse stbxh is!

However we had a fantastic day that everyone enjoyed, we had a stunning venue, 3 course meal and had the outfits we wanted. I loved my dress!

My sister spent about 15-20k on jersey and whilst it was lovely it was very impersonal for the guests imo and way too over the top but they also paid for the accommodation for immediate family which bumped it up a lot!

[mymiraclebubba]

Hers not jersey!

[sooperdooper]

We spent what we had, there's no way I'd have blown £26k on a wedding, especially taking out loans to pay for it, and tbh I don't think I'd enjoy attending a wedding if I knew the bride and groom were getting into debt to pay for it

We spent about £6k and went abroad, I had no interest whatsoever in a 'big white wedding' thats actually the same as every other one, I don't see the point and mainly find weddings fairly boring and samey

[Bananapickle]

I think 26k is excessive but then each to their own. I think our wedding cost no more then 7k. We then spent 4k on the honeymoon. We had 120 guests to the reception at a nice but not crazy venue.
If you and your partner want to get married do what you feel is right and what you can afford.
I really don't see the point in starting married life under the strain of massive debt just for one day but that is just my opinion...

[Ginnytonic82]

We spent 25k including 2 honeymoons, but only had a small wedding (65 day, 125 night). Cost were venue, rings, my dress, string quartet for the ceremony/dinner. Motown band in the evening, bar bill rooms for bridesmaids and groomsmen. We thought it was worth it, but we had the money. Wouldn't dream of getting into debt over a wedding, I've seen loads that were done for less money but were equally beautiful.

[Doodle1983]

We got married with change from £2k. We didn't do it cheap to save money it just turned out cheap. Together for 13 years thought it would be funny to get married and not tell anyone. In the end we had 11 guests - patents, siblings and besties. My dress was a blue maxi dress from next, and we treated everyone to a nice meal. Home for 5pm with a dominos pizza. The rings were the most expensive for us.
A wedding is what you make it not what you spend x

[Heatherbell1978]

We got married last year and spent about £19k, honeymoon took it to £23k. There were so many places where we could have saved money but didn't cos we didn't want to compromise (I had 4 bridesmaids and their dresses totalled £1k for example). We were lucky in that my dad paid for the venue, otherwise we would have had a budget half that and I'm sure the day would have been equally as special.

[Writerwannabe83]

Mine and DH's wedding cost about £12'000 and we also had the big white Wedding.

Due to parental contributions (be it financial, or them paying for something specifically) the actual cost to me and DH was about £10'000.

We paid about £6k of that just from our monthly salaries, paying for things as we went along, and we put £4k worth of expenditure on a Credit Card which we then paid off within a year. We couldn't afford a Honeymoon unfortunately which was the only downside, but we have no regrets about anything.

[callamia]

On everything, we probably spent around 9k.
We had a wedding for about 100, a brilliant party and all in Central London. It's not difficult to do if you're a little bit creative, and have some excellent friends to help. I don't think I'd have changed a thing (except maybe to have invited a few more people).

[HazleNutt]

I would not take out a loan to pay for a wedding, and would not spend money I can't afford.
I don't regret the money we spent, because we only spent it on things we actually cared about (like excellent food at gorgeous venue), and not on things you "should" care about (pretty much all other wedding-related paraphernalia).

[Fuzzymum1]

My sister wanted to get married and wasn't bothered about the big white wedding - they spent very little. Whatever the costs of the registry office, a simple dress for her. I made their wedding cake and she did a buffet for the 11 guests (all immediate family) on their narrowboat where they live.

Here's the cake (their surname blanked out)

[Mamabear12]

My friend spent 80k on the wedding. They got divorced two years later! So no don't think it's worth to spend so much when you can use money for down payment on house. Unless you have a lot of savings and a house...then I would say splash out on big wedding. I on the other hand had small town hall wedding w immediate family and we still going strong two kids later. Sometimes I wonder if we should have done the big wedding, but ultimately we are happy w our small beautiful wedding. Plus wedding planning so stressful. They are a lot of fun though.

[badidea]

We sort of 'eloped', just the two of us and our 6 week old baby and 2 friends as witnesses, followed by a chinese takeaway and bottle of bubbly at my friends house :-)

Even so, we spent a grand on it (the rings were 700 quid, the rest of it was a dress, new shoes for DH, cost of license etc).

I sort of regret my family wasn't there, but I got really stressed about the idea of the big wedding and couldn't face it.

I also couldn't justify spending loads of dosh on 'a party'. Mind you, I know folk who did have a 'do' afterwards and all-in they only spent about 2k, but it depends how many guests you want and how fussy you are - no way I would spend 26k on a wedding (I'd rather spend it on the honeymoon :-D