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Been offered a F/T job but how will that affect 15mo and toddler? Should I stay P/T?

(7 Posts)
missrose Tue 18-Mar-14 20:31:09

I've just been offered a full time job that would mean I would only see my 2 DDs at the weekend. They are 15mo and 3 and a 1/2. I would get about an hour in the morning and hopefully get home in time for bedtime. I currently work 3 days a week.

My biggest dilemma is the feeling that someone else would be raising my kids and I would never see them. They are in childcare that I feel very happy with but DD2 took a long time to settle in and is still breastfeeding, especially through the night, and I think she needs me around still.

What should I do??? It's a massive step up for my career but I feel I'm not putting the dcs' welfare first if I take it, even if it is just for a few months.

I had an absolutely rubbish childhood, being slapped for very minor things, constantly shouted at, no emotional support and I want to give my dds emotional support and love I never had but how can i do that if I am not with them?

Would love to know how other parents dealt with returning full time as opposed to part time, and how you think it affects the children?

Artandco Tue 18-Mar-14 20:34:04

I would go for it.

Also you can ask their childcare especially youngest to let them have longer naps etc in the day so that they can have a later bedtime. Then you can play with them a few hours in the evening also

Is it a type of job where you could get flexible times/ potentially work a little from home later on?

ianleeder Tue 18-Mar-14 22:42:47

I was in the same position as you. Currently Working 3 days a week but was offered a full time job elsewhere- more money and better prospect. I turned it down as my kids still needs me (3 and 5). I have decided to remain part time until both are a bit older and in full time education. They currently need help with homework, take them to after school clubs, cook them a nice meal etc. I don't have family near me and childcare is expensive. I'm not going to get that time back when they are young again so will make most of it now.

brettgirl2 Wed 19-Mar-14 06:41:42

Its so hard isn't it? I am in a job I don't particularly like, but it's a job share and looks ok on my cv. My 2 are 5 and 2. I find myself hoping I'll get made redundant to give me the kick up the rear I need.

My personal feeling is that once dd2 is 3-ish working ft will be more workable for me. So another year or so sigh. ..... (remember they do start to go to bed later so you can have better quality time in the evening)

waterrat Wed 19-Mar-14 18:27:14

I personally would not take a full time job unless I had to for financial reasons. Working life is very long - we will all end up working into our 70s! And if you can have another couple of years with your young children then I would go for that

Opportunities will happen again at work

blueberryupsidedown Wed 19-Mar-14 19:24:18

Agree with waterrat. I'm a childminder and have seen on many occasions children upset with parents going back to work full-time. Children find childcare fun, interesting and stimulating if they attend a few days a week, but when it's five days a week it becomes quite heavy on them. I am no expert, I am not quoting any sophisticated statistic, it's just in my experience. Work opportunities will present themselves again in the future.

missrose Thu 20-Mar-14 21:20:49

Thanks for your comments. I need to accept by tomorrow so a lot to think about tonight! My gut feeling is not to take it - I miss my dd's so much already just working 3 days a week that full time will be unbearable and put a massive strain on the family I think. I am happy being back at work and I'm enjoying having my own money again but there is a balance to be worked for.

I did sound them out about job share/flexibility but they really weren't keen. My sister offered to take them one day a week but I think the issue is how much time I would be spending away from them rather than who was looking after them. I did vaguely consider taking the job and being brilliant at it so they agreed it could be done 3 days a week but with my current lack of sleep I can't see that plan working!

Now is not the time for more responsibility. Thanks for all your comments, they really have helped in making the decision.

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