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Co sleeping toddler..new baby arriving

(11 Posts)
MummyLuce Tue 18-Mar-14 14:47:52

Do you think this is awful? My DD 20 months sleeps with us every night - she has a routine, and after her milk and story sitting on our bed, she gets under the covers and goes to sleep, she allies right through from 8 till 7. In happy with it as enjoy the cuddles and DP loves it as he works long hours so he gets a chance to actually be close to her during the week. DD loves it and is so content. DD2 is coming in the next week and everyone is saying we are being really unfair and horrible to both children by carrying on the arrangement - I was thinking of just putting DD2 in Moses next to bed and carrying on as before. Ill breastfeed so no getting up and disturbing DD1. Tbh, I get up all the time during the night anyway due to uncomfortable pregnancy and she isn't disturbed. Any views? Does this work with anyone else?

Legoisnotmyfriend Tue 18-Mar-14 15:33:12

I have dd2 who is three and ds who is seven months and dd2 co sleeps and ds is in the cot beside the bed.

Dd1 was a nightmare sleeper that is why I decided to co sleep with dd2 and she has a story and then settles down until the morning, she sleeps all night something dd1 didn't do until she was about 5.

I had quite a few negative comments about co sleeping when dd2 was small so i just don't tell any one.

My motto is 'whatever works for you'.

BertieBotts Tue 18-Mar-14 15:37:35

It sounds fine. Just don't let the children co-sleep together - toddlers don't have the awareness not to roll on the baby, and I don't think the generally accepted age is convincing TBH, so I'd be careful about letting them sleep together until the smaller one is around 2ish.

Think about eventualities such as you feeding and falling asleep. You'd need to make sure that DD1 is behind you.

If it's a cause for concern it might work for DH to take DD1 and sleep in another bed entirely?

BertieBotts Tue 18-Mar-14 15:38:39

Just bearing in mind that it's often quoted that it's the same instinct which stops you from falling out of bed, and DS fell out of bed almost every night until he was 4, and still occasionally falls out now at 5.

trilbydoll Tue 18-Mar-14 15:42:34

The only thing that would worry me is the baby disturbing the toddler. I know older children often sleep through babies crying but DD could be quite piercing if she wanted! Probably worth having a bed set up for your DP to escape to with DD1 if necessary.

foolonthehill Tue 18-Mar-14 19:42:54

I had friends who made their bedroom into a mattress room with multiple children and parents sleeping there...it wouldn't be good for me but it worked beautifully for them. When they had the newborn there were some temporary bed rails up around one mattress to keep the toddlers off but other than that everyone had thieir own duvet and whichever bit of mattress they fancied.

Do what works for you and don;t listen to other people. you are an individual, your family is yours...no one else's problem.

ZebraZeebra Tue 18-Mar-14 20:20:10

We'll be doing something similar when we TTC baby 2. We co sleep with DS who is also in a low cot bed with one side off and shoved up against my side of the bed. Often than not he ends up on the other side of the bed though. So when we have a second baby, we'll get a bigger mattress so DS can go on the other side, with DC 2 in the cot co sleeper space on my side. Does that make sense?

And it's no one else's business how you all choose to sleep. I have worried about baby potentially waking DS but I think we plan to have a smaller co sleeping set-up for the other room to retreat to if necessary.

5madthings Tue 18-Mar-14 20:24:30

We did same with ours, we ended up with a toddler bed next to our bed, which is a futon and so the sane height and toddler slept in that. Then dp, then me and baby next to me on the side if the bed which was against the wall.

Its fine.

But I agree re not letting toddler sleep next to baby. If there is an adult inbetween I would think it's ok?

Bigmonkeylittlemonkey Tue 18-Mar-14 20:35:48

I'm pregnant and DS who is 18 months co sleeps with us, however realising he hated his cot I bought him a toddler bed last week and it is in our room on my side, between our bed and the wall. He is sleeping pretty well in it, staying in it until about 3am which is massive progress then coming in our bed to cuddle me.
Mum will put him in his own room eventually but to be honest I miss him!
If he won't go into our room it will be toddler bed/our bed/side car cot and husband and I will take turns seeing to baby and toddler (I am not planning to bf for an extended amount of time)
There is always the spare room with double bed with bed rail if needed for one of us and toddler whilst other stays with baby.

MyNameIsKenAdams Tue 18-Mar-14 20:53:33

In the newborn stage, could dh and dd1 cosleep in one bed and you and dc2 cosleep in another room?

MummyLuce Tue 18-Mar-14 22:48:07

Great to hear everyone's experiences! Foolonthehill, my DP made a joke about this the other day - he thought it would be the best solution for future DCs! Maybe we will do this!
Baby and toddler won't be next to each other and baby also won't be next to DP- we may end up with DP and DD1 in one bed and me and DD2 in another like some of you suggest if there is any disturbance.

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