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How to talk so kids will listen - hitting?(3 Posts)
Has anyone else read this book and had success using the techniques? After a horrendous week with 2.11 year old DS last week (he had several rages and kept hitting me and it ended up with him biting my leg! I now have a massive bruise!) I got this book on my kindle and have read it over the last couple of days. I'm going to get DH to read it as well but I'm not really clear on how to handle the hitting? He doesn't often bite so it completely took me by surprise and I think he even shocked himself so I'm hoping it was an isolated incident. I'm ashamed to say that when he bit me I smacked him on the leg, which is something I've always been against and I don't want to repeat. Has anyone had success using this book? Or got any advice on how to stop him hitting? I'm also 39 weeks pg and so worried about his aggression around a newborn. Feeling a bit desperate and hoping that this book can help. Any advice at all much appreciated.
I think the book is better for diffusing situations before you get to the hitting biting stage rather than in the immediate aftermath. In our house any violence goes straight to an area away from everyone else to calm down, then when everyone is calm we can talk about it. We can then talk about why he did it and how he could have handled it better.
I found that the more I used the book's techniques with DS the more he was able to talk about what he was thinking and express himself, which led to fewer situations where he got so upset he reacted with violence. (We're talking a push or a whack rather than all out war obviously!). He is now really good at talking about situations and coming up with solutions with me rather than just butting heads.
Having had two years of practise on DC1 I am now using it on DC2 and it comes a lot more naturally and she is noticeably less frustrated than DS at the same age. It's hard work sometimes but the more effort you put in the more it pays off.
That said, it sucks being heavily pregnant with a toddler, make sure you don't be too hard on yourself. Two year olds are hard work!
Thank you for your reply, for some reason I couldn't find this thread again as it disappeared from 'threads I'm on'? No idea why!
So far, so good with the book. There's a noticeable difference in DS's behaviour and tantrums have reduced considerably over the last few days hurrah!
I love this book!
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