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Feeling guilty for not being playful enough

(14 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Wed 12-Mar-14 17:05:33

I know I have a lot on (3.5,1.5,&6week old) but I feel awful for not playing with my girls enough lately. I set up fun things (take today, garden play, play dough and art easel) and they play nicely (sometimes) but then I am distracted by what needs doing, feeling guilty for trying to catch 20mins rest for myself whilst ds sleeps. I just feel crap.

littleraysofsunshine Wed 12-Mar-14 19:15:55

I've just sat and cried at realising that I'm just not spending enough time just enjoying being a mum. I haven't cuddled, kissed or interacted enough today, the past week or even few months. I just feel like I let things get on top if me and I just don't stop to let it be. This is probably why my girls behaviour has changed.. They must feel that they're not getting enough. They have me around doing things for them, tending to them but not having all of me. In distracted. I need to just stop trying to do it all.

Another thing I struggle with is trying to do this and also getting time for myself each day.

I feel crap and tearful.

TamerB Wed 12-Mar-14 19:27:24

I'm not surprised! Don't be so hard on yourself. It will get better.
Tell yourself that you can't do it all and don't try. How much help does DP give? Any family near? If no support I would ask your HV if she could get you a Home-Start volunteer, they just visit once a week for about 6 months but it gives a breathing space. I know people in your position who have had someone training in childcare a couple of times a week -for free because it is part of their course. Go along to your Sure Start centre and see what options there are.

TamerB Wed 12-Mar-14 19:39:46

A lot of it is probably due to lack of sleep.Hopefully other people will come along and make suggestions.

littleraysofsunshine Wed 12-Mar-14 19:44:21

Do does. I'm just fed up of being the not fun one and they look at daddy as the playful one. He comes home from work all chilled and smiles and they're drawn to him abd I'm left looking stressed and worn out

TheGreatHunt Wed 12-Mar-14 19:44:51

You have a 6 week old!!! And were pregnant before then!

It is hard. I struggle with just my two. Main problem for me is that I'm always trying to disyrsct them so I can get stuff done i.e. housework or cooking and fail to spend time with them. So I forced myself to stop and play LEGO with ds for ten minutes even though my brain was shouting "it's bath time!". And it wasn't the end of the world.... So maybe try and just give a few mins a day be it reading a story or playing with them for ten mins while baby is in the sling then you'll feel less guilty.

It will get easier!

TamerB Wed 12-Mar-14 20:33:50

That is the time for you to sit down and relax- let him take over.

littleraysofsunshine Wed 12-Mar-14 21:48:40

It's as if I feel like I'm the stressy one though that's what hurts

TamerB Wed 12-Mar-14 22:08:57

It isn't going to stay that way. I know someone with triplets and it was just one long round of feeding ,and changing and washing etc and hard on the older child. It can't be anything other than hard physical work at the moment. It will get better- in the meantime don't try and do it all.
Hopefully someone else will reply.

RalphRecklessCardew Thu 13-Mar-14 07:43:22

Seriously? I'm amazed you have the energy to do anything. Don't be so hard on yourself - you've just given your daughters a new sibling.

RalphRecklessCardew Thu 13-Mar-14 07:51:45

Seriously? I'm amazed you have the energy to do anything. Don't be so hard on yourself - you've just given your daughters a new sibling.

Meglet Thu 13-Mar-14 07:55:08

I don't play with mine and I'm a LP (7 & 5), I'm not sure I have a playful bone in my body TBH. They're still imaginative and playful. I do the educational stuff.

GuineaPigGaiters Thu 13-Mar-14 07:58:47

Don't be too hard on yourself, you have three hung children and must be exhausted! There is a really good book called Playful Parenting which gives you ideas how to incorporate playfulness into everyday life, which mKes me feel less guilty when I have little time.
I also try to remember that my parents used to leave me to my own devices most oft he time as a child and as a result I was a very imaginative kid who enjoyed books and an elaborate fantasy world. ;)

littleraysofsunshine Wed 02-Apr-14 18:10:48

I have that book but don't get time to read it lol

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