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Parenting

DP not taking safety of DC seriously

24 replies

whatshallidoabouthis · 12/03/2014 13:06

I had a row with DP last night over him not taking the safety of our DD seriously. I feel so angry with him.

Her cot is near the window and the cord for the blinds are within her reach. We have a hook to hang up the cord so she can be safe and not reach it, however, DP often forgets to hang the fucking cord up! Last night I went to check on her and found the cord dangling down near her cot. I went ballistic at him. I have asked him countless times to be more careful but it just doesn't seem to sink in to his head that our daughter could strangle herself and die. I have said this to him and his just shrugs and says "oh well, I forgot".

I was out last night and he did DD's bedtime on his own. I have said to him that I feel like I can't trust him to keep our children safe.

What can I do to get this very important point into his skull?

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MyNameIsKenAdams · 12/03/2014 13:07

Just fix the problem. Cut the cord so it hangs very high up or move the cot.

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whatshallidoabouthis · 12/03/2014 13:12

They are very tall windows so don't think I can cut the cord. Have thought about re arranging the bedroom but it is a small room and she shares with her sister (who is also in a cot).

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MyNameIsKenAdams · 12/03/2014 13:13

Well, I think a permanent fix is what you need. Its all well and good getting him to remember but if it something that needs doing daily, there is a strong chance either of you could forget randomly one night.

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JohnnyUtah · 12/03/2014 13:15

You can get things to fasten the bottom of the cord to the wall. Find some news coverage to scare the shit out of him too. Pillock.

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Sparklysilversequins · 12/03/2014 13:17

I'd take the blinds down and put curtains up. I really would, regular reports of deaths of tiny children would ensure I don't have them in the house while the dc are small.

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Damnautocorrect · 12/03/2014 13:17

You can buy a break thing for them. Get one. Although I don't blame you for going bananas at him.

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whatshallidoabouthis · 12/03/2014 13:18

Mynameiskenadams I have never forgotten. It is an automatic thing to do. Shut the blinds, hang up the cord. Not rocket science. I can understand forgetting once but numerous times is ridiculous.

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Slapperati · 12/03/2014 13:22

Yes your DH is being a pillock but I personally know the most loving and conscientious parents who lost their 3 yo DD this way. Sleep deprivation, distraction and a determined toddler were all contributing factors. Sad

Just cut the cord, fasten it permanently or move the cot.

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Eletheomel · 12/03/2014 13:23

You can get blinds that have cords made of plastic beads that break apart if any pressure is put on them (that's the kind we have in our son's room) you might want to investigate sourcing a safer kind of blind?

I know what you mean about how can he not forget, but the fact is he has, on numerous occasions, you either fix it so it can't happen (install safer blinds, amend existing blinds, get curtains etc) or risk the accident happening...

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JabberJabberJay · 12/03/2014 13:24

There must be something you can do to permanently sort this. The consequences could be dreadful. At the moment, your solution relies of you or your DH remembering to hook it out of the way. As as he has proved, he's fallible.

Could you get rid of the blind completely? Some companies do stickers to completely cover a window.

Or rearrange the furniture? if the arrangement of the room is a bit awkward after you've moved the cot away from the window, it's not important compared to keeping your daughter safe surely?

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Thurlow · 12/03/2014 13:25

Definitely buy something more secure. We have this and even I have had a few nights where for some insane reason I forgot to wrap it around the cleat. You can get something like this, which is what we have, or other products for looser cords. Though I have to say if the blind was entirely loose cords I would try and get another blind.

I sympathise with your frustration with your DP and I'd be having a rant (had a similar one with my DP when he wasn't tightening the straps on the car seat enough, one good talk and a few horror stories from Google and he was horrified, mortified and the poor girl is now probably strapped in so she can't breathe...) but with something like blind cords there is that chance that either of you could forget, or your DC could unwrap them from a cleat, which just isn't as safe as other methods.

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Artandco · 12/03/2014 13:25

John Lewis sell protectors that fix to wall and cord is safely behind. They cost about £5. You are both silly to have not done a permentant solution

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Nocomet · 12/03/2014 13:27

YANBU
DDs blind cords are the one thing above all else I tie out of reach when my DFs toddler comes to stay.

They are long, looped, pink, irresistible and deadly. They can just use the curtains.

(She didn't have them until she was about 9 and old enough to work the blinds herself and not be stupid, but when that room becomes the guest room to parents and toddler they need to vanish).

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whatshallidoabouthis · 12/03/2014 13:35

Thanks for the John Lewis link. I will get one of them for the bedroom.
re-arranging the room is not an option. We have twins and two cots in a small box room.

If the cord lock away doesn't work, I will take down the blinds.

He is generally lax in all aspects of their safety. Doesn't fasten the car seats tight enough, leaves change lying around, forgets to shut stairgates. We have a lot of rows over safety.

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TheGreatHunt · 12/03/2014 14:25

My DH is a bit lax. I had toexplain the risks quite clearly and send him links before he took it more seriously

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HelenHen · 12/03/2014 15:49

My dh kept forgetting to shut the stairgates and kept getting a bollocking from me! I forgot ONCE And ds fell down Sad he was fine but there's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere! Neither of us have forgotten since!

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cory · 12/03/2014 18:17

agree with others: find a way to fix it permanently

it's such a risk- and so unnecessary

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mummyxtwo · 14/03/2014 11:30

Tie it in a bow mid-length to shorten it. I've done that with our living room blind cords. Just means you have to reach higher to get hold of it but not as drastic as cutting them.

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Jemimabelle · 14/03/2014 12:19

You could get a new blind with a safer opening system...we got one at the weekend from Dunelm that is a blackout roller blind, with a plastic pole on one side that you twist. Completely safe!
The website has them advertised as cordless roller blinds and says...Fitted with our exclusive Twist Safe wand mechanism, our blackout blind has no chains, cords or risks, ensuring child safety in your home as well as a simple to use design.
www.dunelm-mill.com/shop/blackout-cordless-roller-blind-400301

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Pregnantberry · 14/03/2014 13:09

I would be concerned about your DP's attitude too. Not sure how to fix it, maybe Johnny's advice about finding news stories to scare him with would help to get him to take it more seriously.

For the time being and for your DC's sake, could you wrap the chord up and then tie it around the middle, kind of like the way this string is tied in the picture IYSWIM?

DP not taking safety of DC seriously
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gamerchick · 14/03/2014 13:13

you can get little joins so you can cut the chord and fasten them back together.. I would strongly advise getting one.

i'm not sure what to do with your bloke though.. I just hope it doesn't take something happening for him to see the light.

maybe in the meantime prepare the room ready for sleep if you aren't doing the bedtime? He doesn't have to touch the blind then.

or stick some curtains up and take away the blind altogether... this sort of thing stresses me out, I wouldn't be able to leave it.

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gamerchick · 14/03/2014 13:13

*cord

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Clutterbugsmum · 14/03/2014 14:19

You want something like this blind safety fixture.

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drspouse · 14/03/2014 14:25

What kind of blind is it? Does it have the looped cord which is continuous at the bottom or does it have a single cord hanging down?

If it's looped, then the safety clip like the last poster linked to is impossible, pretty much, to actually disengage.

If it's a single cord hanging down my understanding is it's less of an issue.

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