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Is parenting really this hard or am I just at my limit?

(9 Posts)
bramblina Sun 09-Mar-14 13:08:28

I think it's the latter tbh but could do with some advice....
I have 3 dcs, 8, 5 and 15m. DH works away 5 days pw. I do paperwork at home plus obv all the school/clubs/runs etc, babe wakes occasionally at night (teeth), I feel myself almost constantly getting on to the kids.
Dc (8) takes telling 3,4, 5 times to get on with his homework, he is getting really fussy about dinner- I don't give in but the constant moaning is wearing me down. I have to remind dc (5) about manners, table manners and to put things away, she is getting cheeky and tests my patience. Dc (15m) getting to the stage where he can climb, getting vocal with squealing anf letting me know when he's not happy! He's usually happy but has a short temper and the crying gets a bit much sometimes, on it's own it's normal but I think where the other 2 at puts the whole lot in to a load of emotions and noise that I cannot hack any more. I've just had a rant at them over thier manners and doing as they are told. I told them I cannot stand it any more but then I obv do because I know I've said that to them before. I think I really am quite firm.

Is this normal or do I have to get even more strict?

sad

LadyAlysVorpatril Sun 09-Mar-14 13:16:44

What do you do to relax? Do you regularly get a few hours to yourself? Parenting is hard work and everyone needs a chance to recharge the batteries!

WhoAteAllTheCremeEggs Sun 09-Mar-14 13:28:24

It's tireing telling kids over and over again the same things, would you ever consider taking direct action instead of using your voice, when ds complains about dinner would you consider just chucking it in the bin and letting him go without for a night?
You know with your youngest it will be a temporary thing but everyone needs reminding sometimes that phases pass, fussiness will be replaced with something else soon.

bramblina Sun 09-Mar-14 13:30:11

Oh god, I don't know! I'm trying to think! I don't suppose I do, there's always so much to do. I usually refuse lunch offers etc as I know I can use the 2 hrs when ds sleeps to catch up. I guess that should be my time but I just can't.

Do you think that's why I'm finding it so hard?

losenotloose Sun 09-Mar-14 14:54:42

I've only got two, 5 and 7, and I often feel like the days are mostly made up of telling off, reminders about manners etc. it's draining, and I hope it is just what parenting is like otherwise I'm just crap.

ianleeder Sun 09-Mar-14 20:06:42

No it's hard work! I have 2 (age 3 and 5) and I found myself constantly shouting, nagging and getting my kids to eat! I don't stop until they go bed, and even then I have to get up at night as my daughter is a poor sleeper and cries for me. During the day, I'm their chauffeur, I have 3 hours of piece when my youngest is at pre school so I squeeze in the housework etc. I hate myself for shouting and nagging but things don't get done and Im under pressure esp. during the school run. You are not alone. I'm just starting, I have a long way to go!

LadyAlysVorpatril Mon 10-Mar-14 00:13:02

I really think carving out time for yourself is crucial, it makes me feel like me again instead of just 'mum'.

survivingthechildren Mon 10-Mar-14 09:08:42

Oh bramblina I hear you! I have 5 DC (2 teens, 1 preteens, and 2 primary). I think just how CONSTANT it all is wears me down. Always disciplining, repeating myself, reminding of rules, breaking up fights... It just goes on and on.

Is it possible for you to hire a babysitter for 2-3 hours once a week? I have a lovely uni student come and help. She plays with the younger DC and I run errands by myself - which quite frankly is what I not consider a break! Failing that - can the older two have an afterschool activity scheduled at the same time?

What consequences are in place for the cheekiness/moaning/homework refusal? Instead of repeating yourself again and again, it could be one reminder to do homework and then no more. If he doesn't do the homework he can suffer the consequences at school. Being cheeky - one reminder to speak nicely, and then sent to their rooms.

It can be so hard and I slip up all the time, but quite frankly my own stress levels went down went I decided to stop repeating myself ad nauseam. I would only end up yelling.

Have an early night and see if you feel a bit more refreshed! Good luck!

bramblina Tue 11-Mar-14 22:51:54

Oh thanks, everyone. So nice to hear it's not just me and mine.
Yes, I might just put ds's dinner in the bin next time he's miserable about it. I do need to get tougher. yes, they do get sent to their roems when cheeky, I don't stand for it.
No chance of baby sitter, or cluns at same time, we live very remote.
I'm going to take a chill pill, have more early nights, be firmer with the moaning and hmmm might just talk to the teacher in advance re homework and it might be a good idea.
Sod's law, they were are really good today, ds got himself all ready this am for school, breakfast, the lot, helped with the bins, then tonight he took an age to do his homework but I said I will not remind you if it's not done by 7.30 you will not be out playing tomorrow night, and voila, all done. Hmm, knows where his bread's buttered, that boy wink

Thanks again...

.......................and breathe

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