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Want to go p/t but hubby worried about financial implications

(8 Posts)
TrixieLox Tue 04-Mar-14 22:06:03

There's been lots in the news today about nursery fees and many of the reports have been accompanied by footage from nurseries.

Watching that footage has hit me right in the stomach: in 3 months, my one year old girl will have to go to nursery when I return to work full time (though her grandparents will look after her 2 days a week). I'm feeling a cold stark terror about the fact we won't see each other properly for 5 days out of 7. I haven't felt this fearful until now.

I mentioned the possibility of going p/t to hubby just now, even just having 1 day off a week. But he's so worried about finances. We could afford for me to go part-time but it'll be tight. I get a little bit of money from writing novels but it's not much at all. He said he feels a financial responsibility to our family and my cutting my hours could make us a lot less financially secure.

Did any of you find yourselves in a similar position?

notadoctor Thu 06-Mar-14 22:34:03

It's really tricky! My DH is self employed and so he had concerns about the financial pressure of me going part-time. However, in the end we agreed (with my employers too) on part-time for a trial period of 3 months. I loved it - and he could see how happy I was and it stuck. My DD goes to nursery 2 days per week (which she absolutely loves) and my parents 1 day. It feels like the right balance for us. Would work definitely agree to part time? Might it be worth talking to them about a trial period part time or a phased return (so you start part time but build your days back up)? Could you do a full time contract but in 4 days? Hard work but maybe worth it for a full day with your little one?

Jinty64 Fri 07-Mar-14 21:58:03

How much worse off would you be once you factor in the nursery fees. If you do go back full time ensure dh is doing half the drop offs/pick ups and everything else.

threepiecesuite Fri 07-Mar-14 22:04:02

My dd starts school soon but for the last 4 yrs, I've done 3 days a week. My dh doesn't earn much, we've gone without a few things but still had a nice holiday each summer. But for quality of life, we've all been 100% happier.

FatimaLovesBread Fri 07-Mar-14 22:11:34

I went back three days a week doing 25 hours, full time would be 38. I've found that dropping the 13 hours isn't proportional to losing 13/38ths of pay as those 13 hours are from the chunk that you're taxed more on IYSWIM.

Also DD is with family two days a week and childcare one day, but if I worked five days she would be in childcare 3 days which would eat in to our monthly income as much as me staying home those two days.

How would your pay on those days compare to childcare costs and costs of commuting etc?

Jaffakake Fri 07-Mar-14 22:21:22

I compress my hours. I do 4.5 days in 4, so I work Tue-Fri but working a slightly longer day offsets the reduction in hours /cost implication. I'm lucky as my employer lets me do it. I work in the public sector, but I know people in the private sector who do it too.

BillyAndBamBam Fri 07-Mar-14 22:40:22

I'm going part time at the beginning of April, working 2 1/2 days. We sat down and worked everything out financially. If I went full time we would be around £150 better off a month, but I would only see dd for around 2 hours a day. To me it was not worth it.

RubyrooUK Fri 07-Mar-14 23:02:42

When I had DS1, I desperately wanted to go part time. I was hugely emotional about leaving him - he breastfed until a toddler and was very clingy from birth. It was too risky financially for us though so I went back full time.

I found it hard but was promoted after 9 months and then went onto have DS2. Both children are now at the same lovely nursery where they are adored, everyone knows everything about them and their quirks/likes/dislikes and I love the time we spend together. My career is thriving. I still breastfeed 12mo DS2 so working hasn't compromised that. I think as a family, we are a pretty happy bunch.

I was so so stressed by the thought of returning to work but having less anxiety about money with me back at work has allowed DH and I to plan for the future - whether that's a house renovation or third child. So it's been worth it for me. Obviously you have your own choice to make and if part time would make you happier and you can afford it, that would seem right for you. If not, as a mother who uses nurseries and works, I just wanted to say it's not all bad.

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