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How much does your 10 year old do?

(15 Posts)
NeatFreak Mon 03-Mar-14 13:30:52

My dd is just ten and keen to do more unaccompanied. We live in a very green suburban area and she is allowed to walk home from school with her friends as if she goes a certain way she can follow footpaths the entire way without walking alongside or across any roads ( we have a large playing field near our house and a small river so she has to cross a bridge and walk along the edge of the field to get home. She keeps asking to go out on her bike either on her own or to call for a friend/ go to the shop but so far we have said no, mainly because these would involve crossing (;admittedly quiet) roads.. If we are all out together she is allowed to cycle ahead then come back every five minutes or so but that's all. We love in a cul de sac with no other children so she doesn't play outside much either.

Am I being harsh in not letting her do these things? We have a spare mobile phone she could use if she did go out and she's really sensible but I just don't feel comfortable . So far she has accepted our decision and doesn't argue but I think maybe we should think about what we should allow her to do and when!

Uptheanty Mon 03-Mar-14 13:31:56

I'm watching, same problem (smile)

Stripytop Mon 03-Mar-14 13:46:33

Same issue here. Dd(10) can play out at the front of the house. It is a cul-de-sac, and does get some traffic, but haven't yet let her go further as there are busy roads to cross in every direction. I have dropped her at the swimming baths to meet a friend, picking up 1.5 hrs later. Have also started letting her go into a different shop than me, meeting outside after 20 mins or so. She is also happy being left in the house on her own for a very short while when necessary

She is quite mature and responsible, but I worry about drivers seeing her as she is still quite tiny. For this reason, I'm leaving the whole road crossing thing till next year, when I suppose we'll all have to get to grips with it before secondary school.

NeatFreak Mon 03-Mar-14 14:13:09

Glad I'm not alone! I have let her go swimming with a friend while I waited in the cafe and she has gone to the cinema with a large group of friends while he parents had a coffee next door but it's more the day to day things she would like to do!

TantrumsAndBalloons Mon 03-Mar-14 14:15:29

ds2 cycles to school alone, he is 10 and its a 15 minute cycle, he has to cross 2 small roads and a larger road with a lollipop man.
He is allowed to the park at the end of the road alone but he has to come home at the specified time.
HE can go to the shop alone 5 minutes away.

CocktailQueen Mon 03-Mar-14 14:16:25

She walks to and from school by herself every day.

She is allowed to stay in the house by herself for about an hour if we're all out and she doesn't want to come.

She can go into shops in town by herself and I'll meet her 20 mins or so later.

She can go to the park by herself (but it's next door)! or out for a cycle ride herself, round our quiet estate.

You asked about crossing roads. I think at 10 your dd should be able to do this safely and to have the chance to practise - especially as you say you live in a quiet area. Tricky, isn't it?

morethanpotatoprints Mon 03-Mar-14 14:19:36

My dd doesn't go out on her own as her friends are a fair way away, at least 30 min walk.
She has just started asking to walk to her music lesson on her own, its at 10 am but the street is very quiet and nobody around. This seems more worrying than if it was busy. grin
She can walk to Youth Club but only one small road and I can watch her from home.
I'm also watching.

Nocomet Mon 03-Mar-14 14:26:22

As the days lengthen and there is more daylight after school I found this time in Y5 is the time most parents start to lighten up on walking to the shop, going to the park or staying at home on your own while mum ferries siblings to piano etc.

It's the age my, happy in her own company, DD1 started wandering round our quiet market town for 45 minutes during DD2's ballet lessons (she generally fetched up in the library). It's the age DD2 did similar with DFs or they went swimming without an adult in the building.

10 is when I did my cycling proficiency and was allowed into our small town on my bike on my own.

17leftfeet Mon 03-Mar-14 14:31:15

I would be more worried about my 10 yo doing the route home from school you describe than the walk she actually does which is along a busy main road

Mine calls for her friends, goes to the shop, meets her friends at swimming and I will leave her in the house for up to an hour

She is my 2nd though

Pfb was allowed to the shop but the rest waited until the summer between yr 5&6

ninjanurse Mon 03-Mar-14 14:32:06

I also have a 10 year old DD (year 5). She can walk to the shops with one minor road to cross (5 minutes away) or round to her friends (2 minutes away). I will leave her home alone for up to an hour if I have to nip out and do something.

I am building up to her walking to school by the end of this school year (5 minutes away - 2 roads to cross with zebra crossings and hordes of other kids crossing), because I work, I leave at 8, so she would be in the house for 30 minutes and then have to leave on time and walk to school. This summer hols I will probably start letting her out to the park with her friend (10 minutes walk).

In 18 months she will be in secondary and will be on her own, so to speak, as I wont be paying for a childminder then, so best build up gradually.

MaddAddam Mon 03-Mar-14 14:38:28

My nearly 10 year old is quite independent. She goes to school and back alone (7 min walk, one slightly tricky road). Cycles around the area, goes to visit friends or to the local shop, and comes back a couple of hours later without us knowing exactly where she is (but there are only about 5 homes she's likely to be visiting).

She is home alone after school sometimes for up to an hour, or at weekends, though often one of her two bigger sisters is around. She can cook for herself quite competently but isn't allowed to use the cooker when we're out - she can use the microwave instead.

She has to be sensible though, if she didn't behave appropriately she'd be back in after school childcare, so she gets to come home alone etc only if she behaves appropriately. She's getting a lot more responsible quite quickly at the moment. Big jump from a year ago.

LadySybilVimes Mon 03-Mar-14 14:46:10

My 10 year old (nearly 11) gets the bus across town to school and back (about 20mins each way). He goes to the local shops for milk and bread and so on and is allowed quite a lot of freedom.
He will sometimes be at home on his own for 30 mins if he gets back from school before we get in, but that only happens once in a while. He has his own front door key and lets himself in.

PortofinoRevisited Mon 03-Mar-14 14:56:57

Mine is 10 next week and I think I am in total denial about this. She plays out with her bike in our cul de sac and goes to her friends houses in the same street, but I always insist on knowing where she is. School is too far away for walking/cycling unfortunately. As we drive both ways, I do worry about her road sense - just not enough practice I think. I am just on the verge of thinking of leaving her at home whilst I pop to the shop or something....It's scary stuff - and I feel stupid as I was wandering all over the place at that age. We used to go blackberry picking in the fields etc.

NefariousCheese Mon 03-Mar-14 15:20:39

My PLB is walking himself home from school for the first time today.

I am not peering out out of the window, half hidden behind the curtain. Oh no, not me grin

He is allowed to stay home for an hour or so, plus walk most of the journey to school alone, but we live too far from his friends for him to walk alone.

Besides, he is quite small in height and still looks quite vulnerable, bless him.

NeatFreak Mon 03-Mar-14 16:01:18

Food for thought, thanks!

I don't leave her home alone but maybe that is a place to start. I have three dc so am always popping in and out of the house. I trust her road sense so maybe I do need to lighten up a bit, although on a bike ride yesterday so rode into a wall and fell in a muddy hep crying her eyes out- I would hate that to happen if she was on her own!

Fwiw although her route home sounds a bit dodgy it's very busy with lots of other parents walking the same way and unofficially watching out for her so I am happy (ish) with that.

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