6 year old stealing

[pasanda]

I have 6 year old dt's - girls. Yesterday in Sainsburies one of them told me that the other one had taken some chewing gum. She denied it and I looked through her coat pockets and couldn't find anything so presumed that she had just taken it and then put it down somewhere else during the shop. She looked bloody guilty but I had no proof.

This morning I was changing their sheets and she was adamant she didn't want me to remove her pillowcase. I left it a while then returned to their room later when they were both in there getting dressed and removed the pillowcase. Underneath was an unopened packet of mints. Clearly taken from Sainsburies yesterday. She was gutted she had been found out - more so because she thought I might tell her teacher! Not that she is afraid of the consequences from me!!

I told her I was so cross I would have to think all day when she is at school what her punishment should be.

I thought that was bad enough, but after having put the sheets through the wash, I have now found an unopened Maybelline eyeshadow in the washing machine drum - clearly this had also been hidden within her bedsheets!!

They both have form for doing this kind of thing, but not for ages and I thought we had got the message that it is not OK to steal.

I can't think of a suitable punishment though. I need it to be strong enough to make sure she doesn't do this sort of thing again, but apart from not buying her sweets on Saturday, I'm at a loss. Anyone got any ideas??

PS I know it can be a bit of a joke as an adult when we talk about nicking sweets from the corner shop when we were younger (not that I ever did of course!) but I am also very upset that she lied yesterday when confronted. It's the deceit that pisses me off.

[shakinstevenslovechild]

Ds did this once. I went with him back to the shop, made him give it back and apologise to the manager (who was great) I felt a bit guilty because he was scared but I know he will never do it again.

[anklebitersmum]

As this is not a first offence and it would seem to be more than a one-off I'd enlist the local PCSO's help. An in-house chat about stealing and why it's very wrong followed by a PCSO accompanied in-shop apology at Sainsburys.

Oh and grounded for a week with electrical privileges removed.

Seems harsh but it's best nipped firmly in the bud now.

for you OP

[pasanda]

Thanks for those comments. I think I haven't been harsh enough in the past. I will take her back to the shop to return the stuff. She will absolutely hate this and ball her eyes out I know, but needs must I suppose.

Her dad is away this week and has said he will bring them pressies on his return....if they have been good. I think we will withold hers this time too.

Anyone else got any ideas/comments?

[StarGazeyPond]

I second taking her back to the shop. Next time it is PCSO as well.
No present from DH either. Harsh, but effective.

[anklebitersmum]

pasanda The fact that you've discovered a 'stash' of illicit goods says to me that howver hard that trip to the shop is a must. Can you arrange an appointment with the management so you go to customer service to say we'd like to return and they pass you up the chain. A good friend of mine did this to great effect with her teen.

[pasanda]

Hi, yes I am going to go with her after school tomorrow. She has been told and didn't seem too concerned, but I am sure when reality hits it will register more! She practically skipped out of school and asked what her punishment was going to be with a bloody smile on her face

I have also told dh not to buy her a present and he did have a few words with her when he face timed earlier.

I have also said no iPad/computer time until daddy comes home on Saturday.

And finally I have said that if it happens again, I will involve a PCSO.

I don't think she really believes much of it though, which is helping me now realise that we have been too lenient with punishments in the past and not followed through with them. Well, all that is going to stop this week! [determined face]

[Pantomime]

Good for you! Didn't want to read and run!

[Sevensev]

Am slightly wary of asking this question, but do you think it is possible that she is copying behaviour from an adult or someone else she knows?

[anklebitersmum]

Good for you Pasanda pop back to update if it goes well?

and a to keep that [determined face] going!

[pasanda]

Well, I took her (and her twin - so she could also see I mean business if she ever decides to do something so naughty!) back to Sainsburies tonight. In the car, not a hint of remorse but.....

when she saw the security guard at the door she did have a wobble and started to cry a bit. But we saw the lady at customer services who luckily realised pretty quickly what I was doing and who did have stern words with her and talked about the security guards and how cross they would be if she ever did it again.

I think it has worked. She is adamant she won't steal again, time will tell I suppose. Still no iPads etc until Saturday and no pressie from daddy either.

Sevensev.... I don't think so. The only people she goes to the shops with is me and dh and I don't steal and I really hope dh doesn't!

[shakinstevenslovechild]

Well done pas

My ds was roughly the same age when I caught him, he is 13 now and still goes on about it sometimes and he has never stolen since.

Sometimes a short, sharp shock works.

for you though, it isn't easy.