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how often do your children see their grandparents

(50 Posts)
marriedwithkids Thu 27-Feb-14 10:05:50

I was wondering how often your children see their grandparents. my parents live 3 1/2 hours away so my children hardley see their granparents but my oh parents live 5 min drive away and they never really just pop round to see them. when I was pregnant my mil was all happy about having grandchildren but now they are here she doesnt really see them apart from when I have to drop them off at their house for when I go to work.

PublicEnemyNumeroUno Thu 27-Feb-14 10:44:41

My mum lives in the same town as us and sees my kids pretty much every day.

MIL lives 10 miles away and has never made any effort to see our kids, but likes to pretend to her friends that she's fucking grandma of the year.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 27-Feb-14 10:45:07

Perhaps 'having the kids' isn't what they're after. I don't think it's that unreasonable of them to not want to be glorified babysitters. Spending time with your family might be more appealing to them. Suggest they join you when you're doing things they might enjoy.

marriedwithkids Thu 27-Feb-14 10:49:30

weve offered them to come for tea and do things but I think they are set in their ways. my mil is the same she pretends to all her friends she does this and that when she doesnt that kinda annoys me thats what I think it is. maybe its because ive heard that my mil mum used to help her out with her kids I thought she may be the same as what her mum used to do for her thats all x

PublicEnemyNumeroUno Thu 27-Feb-14 11:09:28

Me and DH have just accepted that she isn't interested in us or her grandchildren and now have nothing to do with her. The kids haven't even mentioned her, they don't know her. Id say its her loss but it isn't because she never saw them anyway.

JuniperTisane Thu 27-Feb-14 11:11:33

My parents once a week, DH's parents once most weeks, occasionally missing a week here and there.

I think if we lived further away it would be a lot less often.

elQuintoConyo Thu 27-Feb-14 11:40:34

DF a long weekend every 3 months or so.
DM ten days twice a year
We are overseas, we Skype a lot so dc know who Grandad and Nana are.

DFil once maybe twice a week, 5mins away. Too have dc on his own, which is fine by us, we manage.

My DM is also one of those grannies who talks about gdc to all and sundry but doesn't seem that bothered when she's here. There is also gdc favouritism grrrrr

pearlbutter Thu 27-Feb-14 11:55:29

When DC were primary aged my parents used to look after them after school, so five days a week for a couple of hours. They live 15 mins away. DCs are teens now and see them at least twice a month.

No contact with exILs at all.

AndWhat Thu 27-Feb-14 12:00:56

my DF sees my DS once a week for about 5 mins as he drives past my house he calls in - he is always so busy hmm my DFIL calls every 3-4 weeks and stays for about 1hr.

I'm not sure which I prefer! wish my DM was still about - she would have been an amazing grandma sad

WowserBowser Thu 27-Feb-14 12:11:04

Mine too AndWhat sad

Locketjuice Thu 27-Feb-14 12:17:28

My mum every day, my mil every week minimum but only because I go there

MillionPramMiles Thu 27-Feb-14 12:41:41

Some GPs just aren't that interested, there's no obligation on them to devote their lives to their grandchildren. They may be relieved they don't have to spend time with young children anymore, they may enjoying a hard earned retirement.

Whilst that can be sad/frustrating (and deprives parents of that all important child care) it's really up to GPs to decide how much contact they want although they may regret the decision further down the line. You can facilitate contact but you can't force it.

I accept any input from GPs as a privilige, not a right. My dd adores my MiL, who takes every opportunity to see her, even though she lives 250 miles away. My parents make much less effort but it doesn't bother me and I don't think dd is deprived of anything important.

turkeyboots Thu 27-Feb-14 14:06:32

Couple of times a year.

Which is interesting as DH parents live 2hr away. My mother is a 1hr flight away and my Dad a 10hr flight away. All in good health and solvent, but we have to go to in-laws while my parents will travel to us.

BummyMummy77 Fri 28-Feb-14 15:46:18

Dh's - too fuggin much

Mine - he hasn't yet sad

Innogen Fri 28-Feb-14 15:55:47

6 days a week. We employ my mum though, so it's a bit different.

seb1 Fri 28-Feb-14 16:04:26

My mum and dad are both dead, but they used to see my mum at least once a week. Other GPs twice a year maybe, have never spent a xmas with them.

cory Sat 01-Mar-14 10:53:01

My parents twice a year, but for longer periods (they live abroad).

My MIL about every other month: she lives in a nursing home a couple of hours' drive away.

MaxsMummy2012 Sat 01-Mar-14 11:15:18

My parents (20 mins away) at least twice a week, often more. PIL (round the corner in same village) very rarely - maybe once a month but sometimes even less than that! But they make no effort so now neither do we!

NotCitrus Sat 01-Mar-14 12:22:01

Some parents seem to want grandchildren for the kudos and bragging rights with their friends way more than being interested in babies and toddlers in their own right. Or just find the reality of them a lot more tiring than they expected.
ILs see my children and their other gcs about 3 times a year, but it's 2-4 hours travel each time. MIL is deaf and in poor health, and they couldn't look after any gc - maybe a couple older ones now for a few hours.

My parents are about an hour away and see gc every 3 weeks or so, was a bit more when there was only ds and before he went to school. We have agreed they will babysit in emergencies once a month when I have hospital appts, work meetings on days off, but they find two dc too tiring to offer more. They have agreed to try an overnight shortly (first time for two dcs rather than just ds who has done that about twice a year). Once dd is toilet trained and it's easier to understand her they will probably be happier to do more with her, health willing.

fanoftheinvisibleman Sat 01-Mar-14 12:29:31

My parents have ds twice a week before and after school. They do see him more but thats the minimum.

IL's are 30 mins away but we are NC. They haven't seen him for 2-3 years. They saw him maybe half a dozen time in the couple of years prior. They won't be seeing him either until he is old enough to decide for himself (but also old enough for child protection issues to irrelevant sad)

CPtart Sat 01-Mar-14 12:38:39

My DM lives ten minutes away, they see her about twice a month. Have never slept over.
IL's live an hour away, they see them about every 6 weeks. One sleepover in the summer hols maybe.

mammatoaboy Sat 01-Mar-14 16:43:00

We see my parent 2-3 Times a week and usually stay overnight at their house a few times a month too! See DH parents maybe one or two times per fortnight.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 01-Mar-14 16:45:39

my parents at least once a month (30-40mins down the road)
PiL once every couple of months (2 hours away)

CannotthinkofaNN Sun 02-Mar-14 07:20:57

Parents - at least twice at week including one day while I work
PIL - one day a week while I work
I am very fortunate.

ApocalypticBlackHorseman Mon 03-Mar-14 20:36:44

Several times a week for one grandparent, never for the other as they live abroad, as little as possible for the other two as they don't like my DCs and my DCs don't like them.

BikeRunSki Mon 03-Mar-14 20:46:46

My mum - 300 miles away, journey is anything from 4.5 to 8 hrs drive - about 3 times a year for 3-4 days at a time. I hate the drive, DD hates dm's dogs (dd is 2, the dogs are unruly, undisciplined labs) and is anxious to the point of not eating or sleeping while we are there. Despite being fit and well, DM no longer travels to us.

PIL - about 180 miles away, 3.5 hrs, about 3 times a year us to them, and about 3 times a year them to us.

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