Family Rules - what are yours? Need ideas!(14 Posts)
Have 3 DC and I feel, over the winter, we've got stuck in a rut with certain things....tv in the mornings before school (which turns the kids into zombies) / too much reliance on TV after school / one DC getting down from tea table before others finished / too much bickering / not enough eating of the right sorts of food etc etc.
So, we're starting the new term with some family 'rules', to be applied predominantly to the mid-week. So far I've got something along the following lines:
(1) No TV in the morning before school
(2) No TV after school until after tea time
Any ideas for things that you live by as a family that works really well? Any ideas appreciated!
Your initial thoughts sound fine - you only need rules for the stuff you need rules for IYSWIM! We have the no tv in the mornings (except on weekends when we positively propel them towards it so we get a lie in). We have no tv in the vending until homework's done. And nobody leaves the table until everybody's finished and dishes have been cleared. Other than that, we're pretty rule free tbh. Except the 'no eating on the sofa' rule which is sacrosanct - it's new and the last one was destroyed by Jaffa cakes.
Talking kindly to each other; no hitting; everyone stays at the table until we've all finished eating; no tv in the morning before school;
These rules apply to us all so not just the children!
Yesterday I made a poster with the children detailing our house rules. I asked them what they thought the rules should be and suggested some of my own. I have ds who is 6 and dd is almost 4, baby 3 is due in 3 weeks and I was feeling like we had lost a bit of control with ds especially not listening.
The rules are:
No hurting each other
Speak kindly to each other
Stay in bed quietly until the sun (gro clock) comes up
No whining, speak properly
Play nicely and share
Then we talked about rewards and they are:
Play a game with mummy or daddy
Watch a film
A trip out e.g park, cinema, swimming
They also have a chart and when they get 5 smiley faces they can choose a reward.
There are some unwritten rules that just happen like staying at the table till everyone is finished, no tv until breakfast is eaten.
I'm hoping we can all be a bit less fraught and I have had to point out the rules to ds a few times. He's not entirely happy about it but there we go. And I have stressed that the rules are for us all, not just the children.
I don't really have rules as such.
The biggest rule I have is that what I say goes. Dc are 6 and 8 and know full well what is good behaviour.
I don't like them jumping on my sofa and playing with balls in the house so they don't
I wish. I hate screeching and screaming so that's an automatic go to your bedroom and I don't like them playing with rubbish eg kicking a coke bottle so if they do start kicking said coke bottle they have to pick it up till we pass a bin.
I wish I wasn't so shouty and they remembered basic things like don't jump on my damn sofa.
Things like tv on a school morning has never happened so we don't have rules about it.
I must say "the sofa is for sitting on, not standing on" about 40 times a day. What is actually so hard to remember about that?
Thanks all, great ideas. Yes its the screeching / arguing etc that drives me mad too. EVERY single morning, without fail, my older 2 have a massive row about who gets in the car first. It usually culminates in tears. Its ridiculous!
I will finalise and print out my list later for the kids to enjoy in technicolor glory
I try to enforce a rule of, if you want to talk to me, come to me rather than yell from the other end of the house
Mumbles my two argue about who gets to open the front door. Every single morning there are tears over who did it yesterday and who's turn it is today.
When will this stop.
Can't add any suggestions i'm afraid as I came across this thread looking for ideas for our own family rules.
But - serious question - those who don't allow tv in the mornings before school... What do you do to occupy the kids? We are in the habit of TV on pretty much as soon as we go downstairs (I have DS 3.9yo and 20mo DD). They don't play together very well at all (or even play apart without bickering/annoying each other) so i often feel that the tv in the mornings is the only way the house can remain peaceful enough for us all to get ready to get DS to nursery school on time. I do sometimes feel guilty about this tv time but I'm not sure how to occupy them otherwise. (Sorry for hijacking thread too!)
No screaming or shouting. Straight to different room if so to 'think'
No shoes on carpet ( first part of flat is wooden so not so bad)
Food only at the table
We have never had tv so no rule needed. By the time they wake, get dressed/ washed/ teeth, eat breakfast, it's time to put shoes on if going out, or they set up something to play if in for the morning
For us by the time they get up get dressed have breakfast and sort out their stuff for school it's time to go. I do have good sleepers though and I'm the one who wakes them up at half seven.
Well the dcs are allowed tv in the morning, but they have to eat breakfast at the table and be dressed first.
Ah see neither of my dcs are good sleepers and it's not unusual for us to be downstairs at 6/630. School is not far away so we don't need to leave until 8:45. That's a long time to fill without any tv assistance!
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