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Stranger advise / good v bad touching please.

(7 Posts)
HaveToWearHeels Sat 15-Feb-14 22:48:35

DD is 4.5, she is becoming aware of the differences between girls and boys. She is also a very friendly, confident child, who has no problem talking to adults. She has no problems going up to complete strangers in the park when we are walking our dog, and asking if she can stroke theirs. As we have a dog we are trying to teach her not all dogs are friendly and some just don't like little people, so she need to ask before touching a strange dog (but that's another issue).
I am really not sure how to handle this type of thing, I don't want to put the fear of god into her, but she needs to know not everyone is nice.
So two questions, when do I have the conversation with her about not everyone being nice and good touching vs bad touching ?
Can anyone recommend any books I can use to illustrate this ?
Have looked on Amazon and there seems to be dozens.

MadameJ Sun 16-Feb-14 08:27:04

The NSPCC have "the underwear rule" which I think is really good and aimed at your dd's age. Have a look online as there is some really useful info. Hope that helps x

Dromedary Sun 16-Feb-14 08:36:05

I also worried a bit about this when my DCs were younger. My DD1 was very sociable. Always going up to adults in the park and chatting to them. She's still like this really, though now in secondary. But it's great that she likes people and gets on with them. I remember once when my children were playing in the park, there was another little girl there and I asked her a question, to be friendly. She completely ignored me. The parent who was with her told me proudly that the little girl would never interact with anyone who wasn't a close family member, which was good because she would be safer that way. Imagine living your life like that.
I think that you can talk to your child about some people seeming nice but wanting to do bad things, from a very young age. That they must never go anywhere with anybody without checking with you first, must never get into somebody's car or go to their house, etc, even if they're given a good reason to. But you can't completely rely on this at your child's age, it's just a worst case scenario back-up. You will have to continue keeping a close eye on her. IME having this kind of discussion doesn't frighten a child at that age, they just take it on board (hopefully).

MultipleMama Sun 16-Feb-14 08:46:43

Madame - Do you know where I can find that book?

We've had the talk with DS1 about stranger danger and such but like OP's dd he's very confident and chatty and we have sorted out the talking to strangers bit... I just need to find a way how to explain to him that strangers who become "friends" have no right to touch him a certain way.

DS1 is 5yo and I think it's the right time since we're in a new country and making new friends.

AngryPrincess Sun 16-Feb-14 13:26:59

Here's a link:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/for-parents/keeping-your-child-safe/the-underwear-rule/the-underwear-rule_wda97016.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_sitelink=The_Underwear_Rule_Guide&utm_campaign=NSPCC_Brand_Paid

MultipleMama Sun 16-Feb-14 19:50:59

Thank you! smile

HaveToWearHeels Mon 17-Feb-14 16:01:59

Thanks all I will check out the links. Glad to know that I won't scare her. She has a really lovely personality and I don't want her to be scared of strangers. She is never ever out of our sight being only 4, but it only takes a second.

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