DS1 (4) has recently started playing up really badly at bed time, he hits and throws things at DS2 (16 months). We've told him as a consequence he will go to bed straight after his bath & not have his usual Peppa Pig & milk. (We do give him fair warning to stop).
However when we do this he (obviously) has a complete meltdown...the tantrum I can cope with, but it's the heartbroken sobbing and cries of 'I want my mummy' that really get to me.
I keep telling myself I'm doing the right thing and that you have to follow through with threatened consequences, but it upsets me so much.
Please remind me why we're doing this...and reassure me if you can that he'll soon get the message.
I would also try to reward his good behaviour/times when he nice to his brother. Double-pronged attack might work quicker then. Also I would probably go in if he's sobbing and quickly but firmly say that you love him but you don't like what he's doing. Is he over-tired at bedtime, do you need to move his bedtime forward a bit?
We do try to give praise whenever he is good, and he has a reward chart & earns treats when he fills it up. He is definitely overtired at bedtime, but this is something DH & I go head to head on A LOT, he tends to do bedtimes and just can't get on with it if you know what I mean, he faffs & it takes forever.
It seems to be whilst they're in their room waiting to go in the bath. He's only done it for the past 2 evenings. He very occasionally hits him during the day, but a quick time out & he doesn't do it again. At bathtime he seems to repeat it despite us telling him not to & warning him not to do it again. Will have to keep a closer watch & see if there's any pattern to it.
our ds (2.7) has started some bedtime procrastination, dc2 due soon and i fear we may soon bday in similar situation, i have found having a fairly business like ed to bedtime routine seems to work, e.g couple or three stories then, would you like a drink; lights off, one lovely cuddle tuck in and kiss goodnight. the additions my husband does are chat about his day, tell him all our plans for tomorrow, does one more cuddle about four times, which i think sets up expectations that we will 'play' bedtime for a while,
I'm guessing your younger one is getting more and more attention as he walks and starts talking? That plus your ds being tired - don't underestimate it.
I would keep a close eye and give your Ds a bit of space. My four year old is generally quite good with his younger sister but gets upset when she messes with his stuff. And the risk is that we let her off "as she is only little" but in actual fact Ds doesn't see it that way. So we try and break them up occasionally and try and show D's how to manage conflict which is really helping. Things like time out etc felt punitive so we scaled back on that.