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do you/how often do you have a day to yourself?

(63 Posts)
Writergirl Thu 13-Feb-14 09:19:01

Gathering opinions!

How many of you who work and / have kids actually have time to yourselves, e.g. for a whole day or more? And when and how do you do it? And what does your partner/think or do?

I'm starting to feel a bit stir crazy as my routine as a working mum mean my life is either work or kids, and our weekends because we work, are devoted to the children or doing household necessities.

I realised I haven't had a day purely to myself for a year or more!

I have obviously had holidays etc, and even weekends away, but that still doesn't help me get stuff done that I need to do!

I also mean a whole day, not just an hour having coffee whilst waiting for my child to finish their activities. That is nice, but I have non urgent things that I'd like to get done and I feel guilty doing that at the weekend.

Your thoughts?

Thanks :-)

AliceinWinterWonderland Thu 13-Feb-14 09:22:29

Never. I'm a single parent now, but even when married - never. At least I do have some time to myself during the week due to both finally being in school, which is a huge improvement. But I do find that the time is taken up with appointments, cleaning, and catching up on things that must be done. Never on just a relaxing "do what I want" thing.

JeanSeberg Thu 13-Feb-14 09:23:20

Since I got divorced 11 years ago, 50% of my time has been child-free. Probably not want you want to hear. grin

Only1scoop Thu 13-Feb-14 09:26:19

I work 2 weeks on/off....dd 3.5 Is at nursery 3 days ....eleven thirty until five thirty. So I guess I get 3 days a week. Even on working pattern she is there on my days off.
Quite lucky to get time to do stuff I guess.

I get a full day about once a month. I normally end up with a fair bit of leui time so when I take it I make sure its just for me. Sometimes I sit and read, go for a haircut, read a book in a coffee shop. Last time I did a food shop and spent a fortune as I actually had time to browse instead of run around chucking stuff in! Its really important to me. Dp doesn't get in until 8pm so I do bedtime on my own most nights so rarely sit down before 9.

beatofthedrum Thu 13-Feb-14 09:27:47

Never. I don't think many people with young children get days to themselves.

MrsCaptainJackSparrow Thu 13-Feb-14 09:29:22

I'm going stir crazy and I'm a sahm. I haven't had a day to myself since ds was born 11 months ago. The most I get is quickly nipping to the shops for half an hour after going to the dentist.

My partner does give me a lay in about once a month or two. After a lot of nagging him.

Sometimes I wish I had gone back to work just for some child free time.

DomesticGoddess31 Thu 13-Feb-14 09:30:14

Never more than a couple of hours which frankly fly by so fast I feel as though I barely have time to scratch the surface of all those non-urgent jobs I want to do let alone sit down and chill. My birthday is coming up and when people ask me what I'd like I always say "time to myself". No one is taking the hint though! Expect I'll get given more beauty products and pretty accessories that I won't have time to use!

littlebluedog12 Thu 13-Feb-14 09:32:10

For the first time since DD1 was born I now have one day a week where DD1 is in school and DD2 is in preschool. So by the time I have done dropoffs etc I have 9.30-2.30.on my own grin.

In reality I just do the shopping, do some cleaning and spend more time than usual on MN

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals Thu 13-Feb-14 09:34:57

A whole day? Never. An afternoon or morning I could do at the weekends but I like to spend the time with my DS and DH mostly. Don't get me wrong, having my hair and nails done for a bit of time off is lovely though.

DH plays sport so gets EVERY saturday afternoon. Not bitter about that at all.

PeterParkerSays Thu 13-Feb-14 09:39:47

1 day in the last year. I booked annual leave to make Christmas cakes for the family last November.

SaveTheMockingBird Thu 13-Feb-14 09:42:58

I work 4 days a week, school hours. DS is in Reception and DD is at a private nursery where she does the same hours as what I work. I do all the pick ups and drop offs. DH is a teacher so can't do them unless I'm ill.
All my annual leave is spend on holiday with the kids, with staff training days too.
Before DS started at school and I was working 3 days a week and both DCs used to go to nursery 3 days a week, so DH had those days to himself, which meant he caught up with DIY, errands, things that have been neglected for weeks, sometime an afternoon or two for some leisure time for him. He is very good at taking the kids off at the weekend for the day if I need some time off, so I have sometimes had the odd afternoon to myself to do a bit of clothes shopping, getting haircut etc.
Now that DS is at school, all DH's holidays will be spend looking after him, so he won't be getting any time off either, but DS is quite self sufficient/flexible, so it's not a big deal looking after him anyway.

I have quite a bit of holiday to take this year, so this thread as inspired me to book a day off (although it'll have to be school hours) just to chill out!

LadyintheRadiator Thu 13-Feb-14 09:43:17

Could you take, say, one Sunday a month to go and do your own thing? Or alternate so you each have a turn?

I keep saying I'd love to have a day out completely on my own, art galleries or museums and lunch in peace, but I never do it. I have a few hours of peace a week now my youngest is at preschool but it's not what I'd call quality time alone - though better than nothing and I do appreciate the break in the noise etc.

Velvetbee Thu 13-Feb-14 09:45:09

Never. Home ed here. Daily dog walk is the only escape.

TheSkiingGardener Thu 13-Feb-14 09:45:19

We have 2 DC. 3 and 11 months. DH goes to football, which means a whole day out, at the moment about 1 weekend day a month. So we now organise it do I have 1 free weekend day a month too.

It's lovely for me and the kids are noticeably closer to DH as a result.

ListenToTheLady Thu 13-Feb-14 09:45:57

About twice a year, usually once in spring and once pre-christmas, I take a full day to go shopping, have a haircut or facial, and have lunch in a cafe, and sometimes add in meetng a friend for coffee (though I have to get some time alone as well). DC are in school and nursery and I give DP the job of picking them up so I don't have to rush. We have no family to help out so it has to be taken from work time. I could do it at the weekend I suppose but that's when we all do stuff together, or catch up on work if necessary.

It is hard because I'm freelance and work always expands to fill the time available (and some more) - but I do think it's important to have a proper "day off". It makes you feel human again. Just simple things like staring idly at 200 nail polish colours in boots and actually taking the time to make up your mind, instead of having to keep one eye on toddler to stop them knocking over the shampoo or one ear listening to bored 8yo who doesn't like shops talking about Minecraft, and hurrying to get out.

I am planning one for next month, as soon as I get through current work overload, and looking forward to it.

TheGreatHunt Thu 13-Feb-14 09:46:57

Never.

And being at work doesn't count (which I am), as I have to do work!

Drives me insane.

SerendipityAlways Thu 13-Feb-14 09:47:01

This is a really interesting thread - I try to take 1 day off every month/6 weeks to myself....its not really a day though, from 845am to 245pm while DD and DS are in school. I might go to the gym, read a book in a coffee shop, browse the shops - and it always flies by so quickly!

CatAmongThePigeons Thu 13-Feb-14 09:47:23

I haven't had a day to myself in 7 years. I am very resentful of this fact unfortunately

Oblomov Thu 13-Feb-14 09:53:47

Twice a week. Since sept. Both ds's now in school.
I work 3 days.
I spend those 2 days cleaning, ironing , cooking.
I sat and watched an hour of tv.

Last week I went for breakfast with the pre- school mums. That was nice. Then did a supermarket found shop! Riveting!!

Soon my mum and I are going for afternoon tea.
And my friend and I are going for a spa day.

But it is only 5 hours I get, by the time I get him from school run, until needing to go for afternoon school run!!

CMOTDibbler Thu 13-Feb-14 09:57:33

I can't remember. I take an hour to go running maybe, but most exercise at the weekend is done with ds. All my annual leave is used on covering school holidays.

Artandco Thu 13-Feb-14 09:59:30

About once a month. I will go off shopping/ meeting friends/ haircut/ lunch one weekend day, dh does the same. We also go out in evenings with friends as and when and the other stays with them, and one of us often goes off for a few hours alone to swim/ run/ have coffee in peace. We go out lots as a family also

SidandAndyssextoy Thu 13-Feb-14 09:59:47

Never. I have already asked for a day in bed for my birthday. It's in November.

IWantToSCRRREAM Thu 13-Feb-14 10:02:35

Unless you count being in labour with DC2, I've not had a day to myself since DC1 was born 2 and a half years ago.

Wuxiapian Thu 13-Feb-14 10:16:43

Never.

Not while I have a 12 month old and due DC3 in 3 weeks!

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