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When should I start worrying that my baby will only sleep on me?!

(17 Posts)
benefitofhindsight Mon 10-Feb-14 14:06:20

Dd is 3.5 months old. I also have a 2.4 yr old and after some sleep issues with her really didn't want to get into bad habits with this one. However, since day one it has been apparent that she is just not one of those mythical fantastic sleepers that I hear about. I have tried regularly to put her down in her cot when asleep or awake for naps, but it is extremely rare for her to sleep for more than about 2 minutes like that (if already seemingly deeply asleep beforehand). She will sleep in the pushchair on a walk or in the car seat when we drive somewhere, otherwise she likes to fall asleep in someone's arms (anyone will do), being carried about and then sleep right there on that person. At night she will usually do a stint in the cot, could be from about 9pm-2am sometimes more sometimes less then she will come into bed with me and bf/sleep until 6 or 7 when dd1 wakes up and starts shouting around. I spend my days that dd1 is at nursery sitting around being napped on and trying to get things done when baby is awake but on the days that I have both of them it is all a bit of a nightmare.

I guess the naps are the real problem at the moment, not the night time. I also had trouble with dd1 and naps so I guess it's something I am doing. Does anyone have any idea how I can get my baby napping in her cot by herself?

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 10-Feb-14 15:01:29

Haven't got time to post atm, will try to get back later.

LooeyLou Mon 10-Feb-14 16:42:01

My 2 month old is the same will fall asleep in the car seat or pushchair but when at home with fall asleep on someone and then will wake within ten minutes if put down, yet will fall asleep at 9pm and sleep in his Moses basket until half 12/1 then will co sleep with me. I don't understand why he will sleep that stretch in the Moses basket but no other time!

Sorry not much help but your not the only one! smile

WeGotThere Mon 10-Feb-14 18:49:00

Hi benefit, My DD was the same, slept 8pm - 12/1am in Moses basket after being put down awake but at no other time would she entertain it! She figured it out somewhere between 5 and 6 months but I don't think it was anything I did and it was still months before it was longer than 45mins! So she had 3 naps at that time I think. She is now 23 months and I am due DS in 6weeks - praying he will know how to nap!

stillhopefulforanother Mon 10-Feb-14 19:18:24

Hi Benefit,

I have a 5 month old and 2.6 year old. I carried my baby (second one) around in a sling for every nap until a month ago. I had to stop because I felt like I was 150 years old. My body hurt so much and I ached constantly.

My advice would be use a sling to establish a nap pattern. Getting your baby onto three naps around 4 months is realistic. Then once rough nap times are set and established either time them with a car journey or walk in buggy and also a nap in cot. The only way I can get my babe to nap in cot is to feed to sleep.

Yes I've swapped one problem for another. My plan now is to get her onto a 2 nap schedule in about 6 weeks or so and then do some training. Pupd probably.

Good luck

WeGotThere Mon 10-Feb-14 19:18:56

Sorry - that was no help. The only thing I can suggest and may have helped was to just work on the first nap. All others I let her nap on me but I kept trying putting her down for that first one and eventually it clicked.

stillhopefulforanother Mon 10-Feb-14 19:39:11

Yes good advice from previous poster. The first nap is definitely the easiest one. When nap times established and babe is getting tired for first nap, try settling in cot. At first do whatever feed rock etc then lessen the intervention.

benefitofhindsight Mon 10-Feb-14 21:29:53

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and advice, I shall try to work on 3 naps a day and the first in the cot as suggested. Dd1 is very loud whenever I try to settle dd2 which doesn't help especially as dd2 seems to be the Lightest Sleeper in the World!

extracrunchy Mon 10-Feb-14 21:49:39

OP I have the same problem with DS being loud when I'm trying to get DD settled. DS is nearly 3 and just can't seem to control his volume! It's a particularly tricky one with the last nap of the day when he and DD are both tired and I'm on a shorter fuse (which really doesn't help). I usually end up putting DD in the sling for that one but even then she often can't sleep.
Anyone got any ideas for counteracting loud preschooler interference?!

GingerMaman Mon 10-Feb-14 21:53:03

My baby learnt to sleep not on me by sleeping in a swing. Do you think a swing might help?

Mamabear12 Mon 10-Feb-14 21:54:30

Try getting ur older child involved when trying to put second child to nap. I always whisper to my daughter...shh we putting Christopher to bed. Sometimes she mimics what I do with her own baby doll and sometimes she knows to be quiet...but sometimes she is a loud mouth making all sorts of noise! Lol. She is almost two and baby is 3.5 months in case you are wondering.

Also, it's never easy to get them to nap. I use a pacifier to get mine to sleep and swaddle. Eventually I'll have to stop swaddling! He sleeps longer if I'm walking with him in stroller. And really well with me in bed lying chest to chest with his face against my boob lol. Trick is to find the different ways to put them to sleep and use them...these constantly change as they grow.

GingerMaman Mon 10-Feb-14 21:54:51

Btw There's a good deal on a good swing in argos:

extracrunchy Mon 10-Feb-14 21:59:27

Mamabear your DD sounds gorgeous smile

We just got a swing and it helps a lot if DS is at nursery and it's relatively quiet at home. Otherwise no chance!

HelenHen Mon 10-Feb-14 22:06:15

At around 4 months I noticed ds was sleeping on me at the same times every day so I sleep trained him... Just put him in his cot at those same Times and after a couple of weeks he was down for his two naps a day like clockwork. I'm hoping the same thing will work withdc2 but who knows

benefitofhindsight Tue 11-Feb-14 08:52:46

This morning I am tearing my hair out. Been up since 6. Around 8 baby fell asleep in my arms while toddler busy doing something. Went upstairs closing doors for quiet, put baby in cot, went downstairs and minutes later baby awake and crying. Fed to sleep, again into cot, eyes open immediately, starts to cry, put in sling, goes to sleep, put in cot, cry. Is now nearly 10 here and she is awake, toddler has been kicking off and I feel helpless and exhausted. She does have a bad cough so is probably worse than usual but I don't understand this being fast asleep, going in the cot and waking up so quickly. Dd1 would at least go for 45 minutes once she was down. sad

benefitofhindsight Tue 11-Feb-14 09:43:27

Ok so now swaddled her, again got her sleeping on me and this time when she went in cot she slept 45 mins there. Does it really take 2 hours to put her down for a nap? Did I start too early? She fell asleep so not sure what else I could have done. Will try going for a walk or drive in an hour or so for next nap.

benefitofhindsight Tue 11-Feb-14 09:45:13

I have tried swaddling before but sometimes it works and sometimes doesn't. Also she won't take a dummy.

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