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An I being unreasonable??

(2 Posts)
Bec1234 Wed 05-Feb-14 15:08:51

I have 3 beautiful daughters with my ex, and he has a son from his most recent relationship that has now sadly ended. We usually get on great and speak regularly about what the girls are up to and he has all his children every other weekend.
The problem is, he has begun a new, long distance relationship with someone he met on the Internet, a lovely woman with 3 young children. Great, but he wants her to come down with her 3 girls when he has his 4 children and for all of them to stay in his one bedroom flat. They did this as a one off and my girls enjoyed themselves, but as a regular thing I feel uncomfortable with it and think that my children deserve a bed ( not a bedroom) of their own when they stay with him, and not have to share their beds with virtual strangers - they've only been together for 2 months. His flat is old and has no fire door and I worry they wouldn't all be able to get out should, heaven forbid, anything happen. Am I being over the top? He's telling me to butt out as long as the kids are happy enough

Eletheomel Wed 05-Feb-14 16:55:56

I can understand your concerns (esp with regard to the relationship being so new) but to me, as long as the children were happy and enjoyed the experience (and IMO it's no difference to them having 3 friends round for a sleepover party in their bedroom at your home) then I'd let it go.

If they start saying they don't want to be there when they come to visit etc, then that is the time to take action, but kids generally love the chaos of being with other kids, right now they think it's an exciting night as it's so different from the usual routine. If it becomes a standard thing it's possible the novelty will wear off and they'll start moaning about not getting enough sleep, not having a comfy bed etc, but until then I'd just let it go.

Or take some steps to try and meet/communicate with this woman (if that is what is really concerning you) just so she's not a complete stranger to you (being a mum herself I'm sure she'd understand this and would be open to conversing with you, so that you know who your kids are staying with).

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