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How to avoid hellish bed & bath time with 2.5 year old and new baby??

(33 Posts)
TheNewShmoo Wed 05-Feb-14 14:00:23

Hi everyone, would really like to hear how people manage this as currently spending everyday dreading 5pm!

My 11 week old screams to be held during my toddler's bath time. I wear him in the sling but I'm finding it impossible to bathe my toddler like this because it's difficult to bend over the bath and wash/dry her, lift her out etc. She always dripping wet and shivering by the time we get her in her bedroom. Everyone ends up just getting v upset at a time in the day where they should be winding down for bed with what used to be a nice soothing ritual.

My 11 week old is not content in the bouncer in the bathroom as he can't really see what's going on, no end of singing has helped either. He just wants to be hugged at the end of the day too as I guess his brain is pretty frazzled. Poor DD always slept like a dream, but ever since bedtime from hell has emerged, she frequently wakes in the night crying and has started to wet herself after 8 months of being dry- although I'm sure this is to do more with the big adjustment to sharing life with the new baby. I am just a mess by the evening.

What do you do??

Do you have a partner? Could you tag team even if it means shifting times around a bit?

Twighlightsparkle Wed 05-Feb-14 14:06:09

I used to get in the bath too, holding the baby, putting them into a baby set in the bath while I washed hair.

Oh and I cut bath time down to twice a week!

Both my kids at between 2 and 3 started being nightmare at bedtime,

It will get better

MoreSnowPlease Wed 05-Feb-14 14:10:50

Could your toddler not have a shower? We have given ds showers since about 9 months and its great he just wonders from one end of bath to the other moving blocks about and filling tupperwares. Don't bother with washing with soap unless hes really messy and even then 10 mins in shower removes most muck.this would leave you free for the baby as they don't need much supervision. ..

DeathMetalMum Wed 05-Feb-14 14:12:27

Got used to the crying unhelpfull sorry.

On another note I used to bf baby while dd was in the bath (sat on thr loo). Depending on babys mood I would wash dd before or after this and them let her play. Then baby either in moses basket or on the floor while we dressed also just placog on the floor whilst gettig out the bath. I do remember a few times having baby laying in my lap (legs crossed) gently rocking my legs whilst dressing two year old.

MoreSnowPlease Wed 05-Feb-14 14:13:14

Should add we have a non slip bath mat in the bath with shower over bath but would work with separate shower too?

DeathMetalMum Wed 05-Feb-14 14:13:52

And as pp said we do bath time when both of us are here. So much easier.

Starballbunny Wed 05-Feb-14 14:14:57

Bathing DCs only when dirty, bathing them both together and stuffing the baby in it's cot and shutting the door.

She got a nice long BF to sleep afterwards.

PyroclasticFlo Wed 05-Feb-14 14:16:36

First advice would be to give yourself more time than you need ie start earlier and have everything to hand.

I used to put both of mine in the bath together with youngest on a towelling-covered sloping baby bath thing, lots of Tupperware / stacking cups, warm towels to hand and bubbles.

Alternatively as Twilight said we would all get in the bath together and youngest would lie on my chest while toddler played with cups and bubbles (and various dinosaurs which had to have a bath too apparently).

Another thought, could you feed baby while toddler has a bath? As your youngest gets older it will get better I promise!

puddock Wed 05-Feb-14 14:19:18

Sounds like it's not the soothing ritual it once was. Bathing less freqently, I'd say - bathing them together worth a try too.

I think I'm in the minority here, but I also much prefer bathing children to be a morning activity. Mine get very excited and hyped up, and they rise so early that there's plenty of time.

backinaminute Wed 05-Feb-14 14:19:46

I had the same gap. I got a bath support and bathed them together. Both in, washed quickly. Baby kicked and splashed for a few mins then took him out put him in pjs in the bathroom and maybe gave him a breastfeed while my toddler played, the took him out and got him dressed in front of the tv. It helps that my toddler would stay there all night given the choice. Cbeebies bedtime hour plays a big part in bedtime these days. grin

TheNewShmoo Wed 05-Feb-14 15:11:12

DH is not around till much later in the evening... have tried cutting down on bath times but DD really is a creature of routine, and the bath is more of a signal for her to wind down (oh the irony) and part of the whole process of going to bed. We tried a more lax routine and my goodness, not going back there! DD went mental.

Problem is DD is really a tiny thing, so much a baby herself. Since baby DS is really little, not sitting up etc, I'm a bit terrified of putting them both in the bath together. Just bathing DS in his tummy tub after DD is in bed requires a lot of careful attention and reassuring words. I can imagine lots of screaming with both of them in the bath together as they both need so much 'handling'... but worth a try I guess as what we're doing isn't much good!

I tried the shower thing (with me out of the shower) and DS in the sling, but yes, means I'd have to leave DD to 'clean' herself otherwise baby would get wet. I can not get my head around the logistics of having all 3 of us in the bath without an extra pair of hands for me to pass them to at the end of the bath! I guess I'm just easily flustered!

I start the bath at 5:15 to have DD tucked up in bed for 6pm, means dinner at 4:45 and not much of a life! I think just bfing baby DS whilst DD plays in the bath might be the way, putting him down briefly when I have to lift DD out and dry her. Looking forward to the time I can put baby DS in a bath seat and bathe them together...

getoffthecoffeetable Wed 05-Feb-14 15:16:44

I have a simile age gap with mine.
We sometimes all get in the bath together, sometimes I sit and feed baby and sometimes I will bath baby in the baby bath on the bathroom floor while DS is in the big bath.

getoffthecoffeetable Wed 05-Feb-14 15:17:13

Similar not simile, bloody autocorrect!

Dwerf Wed 05-Feb-14 15:30:37

I used to take them both into the bathroom, baby in the car seat. Run the bath, undress the toddler, get her bathed/hair washed then let her play whilst I bathed the baby. Get the baby dressed and back in the car seat, then get the toddler out of the bath and dress her.

I got it down to about a twenty minute faff.

ForTheLoveOfSocks Wed 05-Feb-14 15:52:42

I have bought this seat to bathe both of mine together when DD2 arrives. It is suitable from birth. Although I got mine from Asda in the baby event as it was cheaper. Maybe it's worth a try?

www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/1478253.htm?CMPID=GS001&_$ja=cgid:13442896470%7Ctsid:41361%7Ccid:166594710%7Clid:64755465990%7Cnw:g%7Ccrid:37998897030%7Crnd:1649868461192013465%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:1o2

ForTheLoveOfSocks Wed 05-Feb-14 15:56:40

I also dry DD1 on a changing mat on the bathroom floor in a big towel. Maybe something like that would help so she's not cold and wet?

lotsofcheese Wed 05-Feb-14 16:06:20

I bath them together, using a bath seat for the baby, a plastic one from Mamas & Papas. DP is never around for bath time either. I give them dinner together at 4.30 then bath about 6.

TheNewShmoo Thu 06-Feb-14 08:46:18

Socks - drying her in the bathroom... doh of course!!! So sleep deprived. Talk about missing the bloody obvious. PJs warming on the towel heater. Our main bathroom is downstairs whilst bedrooms are upstairs, so that would avoid bundling dripping wet DD upstairs and screaming baby, and avoid heap of wet towel mess upstairs too...

The link above doesn't work but is it something like the M&P bath seat? We have that one but never got to use it for DD as we used to live in the pampered world of the one child . But can't wait for baby DS to be able to sit up so he can get in the bath with her- but your one you say you can use from birth?

Non-slip bath mat sounds like a good idea too. And running shower over the bath to wash off soap/shampoo etc whilst I bf DS. Feel like I have a bit more of a plan for tonight.

Love hearing about everyone else's routines. Will be comforted tonight that we're part of synchronised bath madness taking place up and down the country!

ForTheLoveOfSocks Thu 06-Feb-14 10:33:12

Try googling Summer Infant baby bath seat. It's a fabric seat rather than a solid one, so I don't think it's like the m&p one. It says it's suitable from birth, and it does look like it will support a newborn fine. I'm hoping it works because in a few weeks I'll be in the same boat.

Eletheomel Thu 06-Feb-14 10:36:22

Do you have to bathe your toddler at night? Could you not bathe her during the day when your baby is napping? She could always have a playbath at nighttime (if she misses the bath playtime) when you don't need to worry about washing her in the bath, just wrap a towel round her afterwards, she'll soon dry).

Mamabear12 Thu 06-Feb-14 10:45:33

I got a bath seat and would at first wash baby while toddler watched. Baby loved sitting in bath seat (make sure water and bathroom warm). Toddler loved watching baby getting a bath and of course wanted to join. This is a nice time of day....where I usually get peace and quiet. You can bring baby clothes, diaper etc so pull out baby first while toddler playing in bath - dry and dress baby. Lay baby on dry towel after or seat (we put bouncer in bathroom) and pull out toddler to dry and dress.

Mamabear12 Thu 06-Feb-14 10:46:52

Forgot to mention, my son is 14 weeks and sought almost two

GemmaB2011 Thu 06-Feb-14 10:54:10

Hi I haven't had chance to read all of the comments but have you tried a split feed for your 11 week old (half the feed before bath and half after). I found that really worked for me in that it kept the baby calm and was then happy to be in the bath and then bouncer

BarberryRicePud Thu 06-Feb-14 15:48:05

These bath mats are great. Fit the whole length of the bath.

So for us:
Prepare bedrooms (lights down, book ready, milk by bed etc) while DS plays or helps
Pjs, sleeping bag and nappy in bathroom.
DS teeth brush, toilet and into bath while dd at that stage was having a bf or cuddle or a nappy free time kick on the mat. DS plays in bath while I strip dd and then put into bath. Dd in for about 3/4 mins, then out, massage (eczema cream), nappy, dressed including bag. Put on big soft dry towel. DS out, with promise of "extra" story if he's quick, dressed and into bedroom.
Story in DS bed while bf dd. Lights out for DS. Dd further bf and put down (after several attempts!).

Key things are a good bath mat in the bath and spongy mats or big folded towels on floor, plus good toys for the toddler, plus speed with the baby bath bit.

Now dd is 9m and it's so much easier, they play together in the bath, but it's still DS in first and out last.

Hope it gets better soon.

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