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How do your five year olds go to sleep and what time?

(29 Posts)
Haveacwtch Fri 31-Jan-14 11:05:59

Hi.

My eldest ds is just five. We have always had issues with his sleep but we're not getting anywhere.

He has bath at about 6:45 and then into bed about seven. Dh reads him two stories and then cuddles for a bit and then he is left. We go back up after he calls every five minutes and then stretch it to ten. He doesn't get to sleep until about 8:30 and then is up between 6 and 6:45.

He is in reception and is shattered when he gets home. He can't seem to switch off though. We have tried talking books, musical, relaxation CDs. Letting him read his books. Nothing works
What time do your children sleep? I'm worried he's not getting enough sleep and when I have the two of them alone it is hard work.

Any ideas please

Thank you

cafebistro Fri 31-Jan-14 11:13:00

My 5 year old DD goes to bed around 7pm usually. Once she's in bed she stays there although I do hear her chatting to her sister who shares the room. I have to wake her up every morning, if I left her she'd probably sleep until 8.30am ish. She loves her sleep.
What you describe is fairly typical I would say lots of my friends children are quite early risers.

grabaspoon Fri 31-Jan-14 11:16:27

630 for bath then 1 story / chapter then lights if door left open slightly then that's it for 12 hours

mummyxtwo Fri 31-Jan-14 11:17:15

Ds1 is 5yo and goes to bed at 7pm. I try to enforce this bedtime on school nights but relax it a little at weekends. He has supper at about 5.30pm, is allowed 30 minutes of computer games - angry birds, cbeebies or lego city - after supper, I put dd2 down at 6.40pm and then ds1 has some milk while I read a story or two to him. On bath nights (not every night) they have their bath at about 5.45pm before dd2 has her milk. If dh is home from work in time, then he gets to stay up slightly later to have a quick play with his dad. Dh works long hours so isn't often back midweek.

Ds1 went through a (long) period of trying anything to delay sleep - "I had a bad dream" ("you haven't been to sleep yet!!"), "I need a poo!", "My foot hurts", "This top is itchy", "I dropped a toy"... and so on, and on. Repeated tellings off didn't work, but we had success when we told him that for each unnecessary calling out he would have a soft toy removed from his bed and put on his chair instead. He sleeps with his two favourite teddies and an army of stuffed angry bird toys, and the threat of losing one to the chair has definitely improved the going to sleep. We had to follow through on the threat a couple of times before it sunk in that yes, Mummy is mean enough to remove Monster Bird from the bed.

Hope things improve for you.

Haveacwtch Fri 31-Jan-14 14:08:04

Thank you. We've tried reward charts and also taking things away. The annoying thing is when my mum stays he goes to sleep in minutes for her

Eletheomel Fri 31-Jan-14 14:35:12

Does he know why he wants you upstairs? Is he bored? Finding it difficult to get to sleep? Is calling you upstairs now part of his routine? How does he fall asleep in the end? Has he always done this?

I only have a 4 year old (so not qualified for this post :-) but was just wondering if you could maybe find out why he's doing this, it might be easier to resolve it (if he knows that is, he might not be able to articulate it).

Haveacwtch Fri 31-Jan-14 19:38:30

He says he wants to cuddle and for someone to stay with him. Problem is that can be for hour and a half and we can't do it anymore. My two year old goes to sleep in minutes and has done for a while and we haven't done anything different

vikingpooboat Fri 31-Jan-14 21:41:00

My 5 year old goes to bed in his own bed during the week at 730 occasionally calling out for something or other but settles quickly.on a weekend he sleeps in bed with me until my partner gets home and I carry him to his own bed. He sleeps better with me.

JoinYourPlayfellows Fri 31-Jan-14 21:45:22

Why don't you let him stay up a bit longer if he's not tired?

7 seems very early for a 5 year old to me.

You can be tired from your day and not need loads more sleep.

Why not let him go to bed at 8 and have lights out by 8.30?

What's the point of making him to go bed if he's not ready?

grabaspoon Fri 31-Jan-14 22:40:32

Join Most children I know [aged 5/6] are still having a 7pm bedtime. What time does your 5 year old go to bed?

CrazyHmissesHerbie Fri 31-Jan-14 22:47:59

My 5yo Ds goes to bed 7pm on the dot every night & most school nights he is asleep within half n hour .
He goes to bed the same time at weekends .

He thinks their is a lock on his door so doesn't bother coming out of his room and if he needs anything he will shout but that's only once and then he knows not to shout again unless its in important .

I might seem strict but he has suspected AS so it needsto be this way .
Also he can and does have wweeks where he will only sleep for 4 nights and then the other 3 he will sleep for 2 hours each night and that's it .

Sounds like your DS is getting plenty of sleep though I second trying putting him to bed a bit later and see if that helps

headoverheels Sat 01-Feb-14 00:38:59

My 4yo DS2 does not like to be left to go to sleep on his own. If we leave him he will stay awake calling for us. I've found that a compromise that works is to read him 2 stories and then pop him into bed, but sit just outside his room reading DD her story. He can hear my voice, and goes to sleep much more quickly than if I leave him to it.

He goes to sleep around 7.30 but wake up time varies.

Haveacwtch Sat 01-Feb-14 10:01:17

Thanks all. I've found if he has a later bedtime it still takes him a long time to go to sleep. So if he goes into bed at 8 he's still awake at 9.

Last night was much better and he was asleep by 7;45 and he's a different boy this morning having 11.5 hours sleep.

BlueChampagne Sat 01-Feb-14 23:30:02

Our DSs dont't go to sleep before 8pm because or DH wouldn't see them before bed. DS1 late Aug birthday so started school early but seems to have survived.

JoinYourPlayfellows Sun 02-Feb-14 08:57:34

graba - my 5 year old goes to bed at 7.30 but I'm thinking of pushing it back to 8 because it has started to seem a bit early.

Ragwort Sun 02-Feb-14 09:09:38

My DS always went to bed at 7pm until he was about 9 grin - he had a bath, story, went to bed and stayed there.

I think it is interesting that he sleeps fine when your mother is there, is she a lot stricter than you are about settling & leaving him? <your user name might have something to do with it wink>

equinox Mon 03-Feb-14 08:33:51

How about lavender in his bath to calm him or a few drops of lavender oil on the pillow at night?

youmakemydreams Mon 03-Feb-14 08:42:29

Ds1&2 would sleep perfectly if exmil put him to bed he was a nightmare for me. I think it was a simple case of he could push my buttons and knew I would come up.
I'm the end I had to for my own sanity, go for the no nonsense approach. It was up to bed story give lights out. If they shouted I ignored possibly one reminder of it's bedtime. If they came out they were turned around and put straight back. It did mean 2 or 3 nights standing on the landing on mumsnet outside their door but now they go down great. Never had this with dd she loves going to bed.
The thing is they were both shattered and needed that sleep but they had just got into bad habits over a period of time.
Now early riser ds1 sleeps in until gone 7 and ds2 is much nicer company now he is settling well to a good sleep.

Korora Mon 03-Feb-14 08:57:37

My DD is 4 and nine months and goes to bed at 7.30pm. We go through phases where she is bad about staying in bed- normally when DH has been in charge for a few days.

I've found two things help:

1. Being stricter.
2. Using a simple reward system.

The system I use is from Nigel Latta, a NZ psychologist who has written lots of books. DD gets a token every night she is good and stays in bed. If she gets up more than one or two times, she loses the token. At the weekend she can trade in 7 tokens to get a reward. We use bells, or jingles, that I bought in a craft shop.

Good luck OP.

bumbleandbumble Mon 03-Feb-14 13:33:01

my 4 year old goes to bed at 8…sometimes 8:30. I never saw that as a problem…perhaps its the many years spent in italy, but it seems all my english friends have a real strict 7pm bedtime and keep that going for as long as possible.

I think there is no sense having them scream and ask for things etc…for and hour. Put them to bed when they are tired, then there is no fight/problems… but that is just me, I am no expert smile

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 03-Feb-14 13:38:26

Our five year old goes to bed at 8pm, he always has done. So does the two year old.

They are rarely still asleep past 6.30/7am.

Does he get plenty of fresh air?

FloatMyBoat Mon 03-Feb-14 13:48:30

Our five year old goes to bed at 8pm and up at 7.45am. Some nights she falls asleep straight away but most nights we cuddle in her bed and she drops off by 8.30. She is full of life in the morning and this bedtime suits us as she wouldn't see dh otherwise.

JoinYourPlayfellows Mon 03-Feb-14 13:48:55

it seems all my english friends have a real strict 7pm bedtime and keep that going for as long as possible.

Yeah, the 7pm bedtime for children of all ages does seem to be a particularly English thing.

Not that there's anything wrong with it if it works for you and your children.

youmakemydreams Mon 03-Feb-14 16:39:37

And I probably should have said that we find 7 too early as well. We pushed it back until we settled on lights out at 8. They all sometimes go up at 7 and watch a DVD in DVD's room if they fancy some snuggle time together as there is non kids TV allowed downstairs at that time of night. But own beds and lights out for the boys at 8.

TeacupDrama Wed 05-Feb-14 16:25:52

my 4 year old goes to bed about 8pm and sleeps till about 7pm I put her to bed read a story or sing 2 songs then i kiss good night switch light off and leave she is awake when i leave I check on her before i go to bed,

I think the quicker and simpler the bedtime routine the better but instead of bed at 7 try 7.30 if it works but he is tired next day after a few nights try 7.25 etc. I just think 7pm is too early for some children though others are fine with it just depends when you have to be up in the morning

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