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Keeping DS off school for his DB's Birthday

(80 Posts)
YesAnastasia Thu 23-Jan-14 09:15:07

He's in reception (4.5) and it's just one day. He's had a rubbish week (he has SEN) and has been having meltdowns all over the place.

We would go out for lunch & maybe visit somewhere fun (and educational). They don't legally have to be in school until they're 5 anyway.

Please take the guilt away Mumsnet.

MirandaWest Thu 23-Jan-14 09:20:21

I'd say the response will be about one third to do it and two thirds to not although I may have judged it wrong.

YesAnastasia Thu 23-Jan-14 09:21:05

And your opinion? smile

Seeline Thu 23-Jan-14 09:23:25

I'd just say - what happens next year and the year after....?
Give him something fun to do over the weekend instead.

frugalfuzzpig Thu 23-Jan-14 09:24:07

Hmm. I get the bad week thing and I don't think it's that terrible to keep a child off if they're really overwhelmed or exhausted. But presumably the day won't be a restful one so it probably won't help and IME may make it worse if you're going somewhere new, exciting or busy.

Also TBH I'd quite like having some one to one time with my younger one on their birthday and then celebrating a bit more when school is finished, or at the weekend.

YesAnastasia Thu 23-Jan-14 09:24:22

It will be a Saturday next year, a Sunday the next...

YesAnastasia Thu 23-Jan-14 09:26:17

He'll also have a present (or a few if family get silly) because they both get something on the other's birthday. He'll have to leave it (a bike) an go to school. I feel mean.

YesAnastasia Thu 23-Jan-14 09:28:23


MirandaWest Thu 23-Jan-14 09:29:08

I'd send him to school.

Seeline Thu 23-Jan-14 09:30:24

Presents after school if birthday is on a school day.

KuppiKahvia Thu 23-Jan-14 09:31:21

You are getting him a bike for his brother's birthday!?

How old is his brother? Hold off the celebration day out and celebrate at the weekend. Don't do presents until after school. Problem solved.

You are conflating 2 things. If he is over stressed and needs an extra day off it needs to be calm, not busy and frantic. Also do you want to give him the impression that when he is at school you are out doing fun stuff?

Sammie101 Thu 23-Jan-14 09:31:21

You get your child a bike on his siblings birthday?? When I read present I assumed a token gift but a bike?

Anyway, I would just take him out for the day, I don't think in one day he's going to fall drastically behind

3bunnies Thu 23-Jan-14 09:31:52

Why not shift the presents and celebrations to Sat (if your dp works mon-fri it means he would be home too), have a fun day tomorrow with ds2 but not make a big thing of it being his birthday. I have kept a child off in reception due to tiredness so I don't think you are unreasonable to do it but I would make the decision separately from the fact it is ds2's birthday.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Thu 23-Jan-14 09:33:54

he is getting a bike for his brothers birthday???????????

YesAnastasia Thu 23-Jan-14 09:34:58

It would usually be a token but we really wanted them both to have bikes so we can go out as a family. It's better this way than at a random time.

DH has the day off...

Sparklysilversequins Thu 23-Jan-14 09:39:30

I would and I wouldn't think twice about it.

YesAnastasia Thu 23-Jan-14 09:40:47

Ah Sparkly - thanks smile

Sparklysilversequins Thu 23-Jan-14 09:41:12

Good idea about the bikes too. This is what I am doing for dd's birthday. They both need one so they'll get one each and then dd will get a couple of other bits too to make the day more about her.

Eletheomel Thu 23-Jan-14 11:00:49

I'd take him out, I don't see the big deal.

Mind you, I'm wondering (already) whether I'll take DS2 out of school for his birthday (he's only 7 months old so a while away!) as DS1's birthday falls during the holidays so we'll always take the day off for that, and it seems mean then not to have a family day for DS2s birthday which will always be in term time (I've refused to work on my birthday for decades - I always take a days annual leave :-)

Decisions, decisions.....

KuppiKahvia Thu 23-Jan-14 15:32:54

Ele, my dd1 is heartbroken that her birthday this year falls on a weekend. They get to be centre of attention at school and love being there on their birthday, I wouldn't make any set in stone plans yet!!
I'm even more gobsmacked that there is more than of you planning to give your DC a bike for their siblings birthday!!

dozeydoris Thu 23-Jan-14 15:35:08

At that age it is not a big deal imo.

When they are older imo they need to see that school is important and can't be skived off whenever, but when 4.5 it doesn't matter so keep him off.

Bowlersarm Thu 23-Jan-14 15:38:40

No I wouldn't.

And giving him a bike because its his brothers birthday???

What are you doing to make birthday boy feel special? After all his brother is being made to feel special. A whole day off school. And a brand new bike.

What are you planning on giving him for his own birthday? A week off? And his own yacht or something?

LoofahVanDross Thu 23-Jan-14 15:40:07

yes absolutely take him out and enjoy the day. I would, and have done exactly the same.

blackandwhiteandredallover Thu 23-Jan-14 15:43:01

I wouldn't. Just have a family day out at the weekend? If DH has the day off won't it be nice for DS2 to have some quality time? I know my DD2 would love a daughter-daddy day without her big sister around.

QueenofKelsingra Thu 23-Jan-14 15:52:42

i think I'm right in saying, you have the right not to send the child to school at all before they are 5. if however you choose to send them in the September when they are rising 5 you are committing to them attending. you cant just pull them out when you fancy before they turn 5.

i also disagree with the whole bike when not his birthday thing, sorry.

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