Breastfeeding v Formula(29 Posts)
If breastfeeding on demand how do you get into a routine? My grandmother is pro formula & keeps saying it's easier to get into a routine etc ... I'm pro breastfeeding but have NO routine at all LO is 7 weeks, anyone got any advice/thoughts? TIA ð
I am a bit meh about routine, I don't see the point. But I see no reason why you can't have a routine and breastfeed, lots of people do!
My ds is ff and has no routine and never has for feeding sometimes he would want a bottle after 2hrs sometimes after 4hrs.
And he never napped at regular times or even for the same amount of time.
Even today he had a 2hr nap at lunchtime I can't remember him ever doing that before and we did nothing different over the last few days.
So I can say from experience that ff doesn't always help with a routine.
Know where you are coming from, my family are very pro ffing and I bf both of mine. If she comments again just nod and smile sweetly then do what you like.
Can recommend going to a bfing support group, its good to be around other bfing mums especially if you are having to deal with negative comments from family members
Have you read Babycalming by Caroline Deacon? It helps you find a routine that suits both you and your baby, your library will probably have a copy
The 2 hour rule is a brilliant routine for a baby, however they are fed.
When your baby wakes, make a mental note of the time, then do everything in your power to get baby back to sleep no more than 2 hours later.
When baby wakes, change her, feed her (if she's hungry), play and socialise. 90 minutes after waking, start calming her ready for her next sleep. Do whatever it takes to get her to sleep - feeding, buggy, music, whatever is her thing.
When she wakes naturally, start the cycle again. In a week or so, you'll have your routine and she will be waking and sleeping in a predictable pattern.
Routine = dreary monotony to me. I like a bit of predictability, but nothing too strict. I guess it depends on what you're like.
ok this is out of a book (baby whisperer) but it worked for me - start with a predictable sequence of what you do, so after (E)ating, we would have an (A)ctivity (nappy change, cuddle, etc), then putting her down for (S)leep then when baby is actually asleep there is time for (Y)ou. Hence its called EASY. When DD was newborn that cycle would take about 2 hours, but gradually it extended out to a 3 hour cycle and by 6 months it was a 4 hour cycle.
We're not rigid about it, but if I can I try to stick to this predictable sequence. I'm naturally a person that likes a routine (and lists) so I found it did help and was easy to stick to even while breastfeeding.
I am a huge fan of routine. I ff and my babies fed every 3 hours when they were little then went to 4 hours. I would wake them to feed, I woke them so they had structured naps too and I started a bedtime routine from 4 weeks old.
It is in my nature to have order and routine in my life. My DC are little creatures of habit now, like me.
I breast fed all 3 and still had a routine - but not at 7 weeks.
A routine kind of emerges. Your baby will space feeds out naturally and start sleeping more at night naturally then you can kind of tweak it a bit more to suit.
So, say when your baby is around 3 months or so, start winding down and doing the same thing every evening at the same time. Small breast feed, bath then cuddle in and feed and put him/her down. Doing the same thing every night at the same time and the same thing/time every morning and the rest falls into place.
At 7 weeks just enjoy him/her and don't worry about it.
My mum and Gran were very pro formula and used to do my head in. My Gran was shocked and embarrassed with breastfeeding that extended past 2 months! Mind you, she also thought I should have been feeding them Mince and Tatties by then too!
I think having a bit of a structure to your day can help, i.e. getting up at more or less the same time, going for a walk after the second (or whatever) feed, or at certain time, giving bath at the same time...
Obviously you'll have to be flexible but I found that this way feeds and naps are a bit more predictable, although I wasn't really aiming for a routine, but having a bit of structure helps for a pattern to emerge...
You are all marvellous! Thank you. I think my Nans generation are quite disgusted with BF, she says everytime I see her "he should be on the bottle" does my swede in!
Never bothered with routine, drove myself mad for four days and gave up. The second you get a routine going they change it or you become a total slave to it
Routines are seriously overrated, and very boring.
Having done both, BFing rocks! Especially for second DCs who's older siblings nursery times, swimming lessons, preschool holidays and general ability to get in the way, will ensure no routine anyway.
Im sure your Grandmother would be mortified that DD2 didn't nap pretty much from birth, 18 months. Then she had a nap on Wednesdays at nursery.
The rest of the time we went to collect her big sister from nursery just as she looked sleepy and big sister was far to much fun to nap when we got home.
DD2 also BF until she was in juniors, but that might give the old dear a heart attack
I BF and totally had a routine, I fed her every three hours (from a few weeks old) and had naps in between. yes it's a bit easier with formula because you can see and control exact amounts they are feeding, but babies aren't robots! Tbh a lot of whether a routine works or not depends on the baby's personality and not how they are fed.
You don't have to have a routine unless you want to, but if you do you could try feeding her every 2 or 2.5 hours (whether she demands or not) and see how it goes. The only difference is most breastfed babies can't go 3-4 hours.
I BF and had a routine too. But only at around 3 months. Just sort of winged it before that. I don't know how you make them do certain things at certain times when they're teeny. Agree with 2 hour rule though . . . but I'm sure that was at about 3 months.
I never imposed a routine but my older two gradually found their own (by about 12 weeks iirc). Once they seemed ready for a bedtime as opposed to napping on me all evening, I did start offering a feed at 7ish each evening regardless of when they had last fed. But otherwise I fed them when they seemed hungry.
dc3 never really had a routine at all as we were always dashing about at different times but it didn't seem to bother him much (or me by that point!) We also had a lot of places to be on time so I used to feed him just before we needed to go (even if just a quick feed) and that seemed to work OK too.
I know lots of people love that EASY thing but I really got in a pickle with it with ds1. I found it much much better to let him nap after a feed (bfing is designed to make babies sleepy) - discovered this after a long time of a very cranky overtired baby who I had fed and then tried to keep awake.
I never understood the keeping them awake after a feed thing either - seemed to go against nature and meant you lost a brilliant tool for settling a tired baby to sleep.
lily I think the idea is they learn to go to sleep without being fed to sleep (ie self settle), which is useful to prevent lots of night wakings. never worked for us though, she just got used to being rocked to sleep instead which was harder work than feeding!
I tried the EASY thing too, and my DS was screaming bloody murder when I tried to get him to sleep after he's been awake...
I think bfing to sleep, as well as rocking babies is so intuitive it can't be wrong. Books can give you ideas but don't follow them blindly, just pick out things that work for you is what I've learned...
You can do things at same times when bf, but they don't have to be exactly the same. Say you aim to get out of the house by 12pm every day, but one day it will be 11.45, and another day 12.25, but it's still around 12.
Another fan of routine here but if you're BFing and want to continue I'd carry on with the on demand feeding up until around 12 weeks - trying to enforce a feeding routine too early can hinder your ability to make enough milk due to lack of receptors being activated in your breasts in the early days.
In this household we've kind of fallen into a routine and it certainly didn't happen until sometime after 12 weeks.
If you want to continue Bfing I'd recommend just going with the flow and ignoring the older and less informed (a lot of the time) generations.
My MIL keeps pushing ff too, which I don't like as bf is hard especially at first so if you've made a choice to do that, I think you should be supported until you decide otherwise. I actually had some concerns about whether my baby has acid reflux or bad wind and she made comments blaming the fact I'm bf and should be thinking about ff, but without proper reasoning for her point. She says she ff all of hers and they were fine
which makes me feel like crap but what she doesn't realise is all babies are different and some are "easier" and more settled regardless!
Anyway mine is 6 weeks now so some family members have started asking about routine, whereas I'm just glad she's seemed more settled the last couple of days! It feels natural to me to go with the flow for now - for example I don't like waking her for a bath or feed and she can nap for 3/4 hours sometimes. I am really interested in other people's experiences and routines but I think sometimes people don't take into account that what works for a settled baby might not be right for a windy/colicky/refluxy baby for example.
Alexandra6 - I'm 100% with you! My boy is 7 weeks today. He doesn't settle, FIDGETS like you would not believe (even on the boob) so never sleeps because he wakes himself up! But my grandmother thinks by FF'ing it will resolve it all!!!
Forget any routine, from my understanding they find their own way. I live in hope.
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