Toddler won't eat. So fed up

[CrispsCrispsCrisps]

My DS will be 2 years old in a couple of weeks. He's quite tall and used to look healthy with chubby cheeks. In the last few weeks he's just stopped eating. He's had a cold and sore throat so I've resorted to giving him soft foods for the time being.

Aside from the cold he just says no after a few spoonfuls of his dinner. On the other hand you could give him hundreds of yogurts and he will eat them. Some of it is pure fussing and some of it is probably to do with his teeth hurting.

I'm so fed up. He's generally a lovely sweet boy but meal times make the whole day a misery. I'm finding it so hard because he's looking thin and I've noticed his trousers are so loose they fall down. I stuck him on the scales and he's put on 2kg since he was weighed by a HV in April and is on the same centile but I'm not convinced because so many people have noticed how thin he's looking.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can fatten him up healthily? Or how do you deal with a fussy eater? At the moment I'm dreading every morning because I know meal times will be a battle

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

His weight is pretty irrelevant unless you are tracking his height centile too OP.

Could you take him to the doctors and get his ears and throat checked? Could you try him with a dose of ibruprofen about half an hour before his main meal?

Once you know he's ok I'd just go back to what he used to eat and not worry if he refuses food and don't offer alternatives.

[CrispsCrispsCrisps]

Thanks for responding.
No, I'm not tracking his height. The problem is the hv is only open when I'm working so I resorted to weighing him at home.

He's having calpol every four hours but even when he's well it's a battle to get him to finish a meal. You should see the amount of food wasted. Yesterday I made him 3 different breakfasts

[CrispsCrispsCrisps]

Should I measure him and check him on the centile?

[LegoCaltrops]

Will he eat ready brek or similar fortified porridge? It's soft & you could make it with whole milk for the calories.

If you microwave a banana, it pretty much turns into mush, easy to mash with a fork. You could try mixing this with his yoghurt? It's a bit more nutritious than just the yoghurt, bananas are full of good stuff.

[ppeatfruit]

Just being chubby doesn't mean he's healthy though does it? It's the classic age for pushing boundaries and showing you he's got a personality of his own. If he has energy it's not a problem;DCS have much smaller stomachs than we think.

The best way to deal with it is to ignore it totally. IME as a ex CM and Nanny and M of 3 I used to give them a nicely presented plate of fruit before their meals also get them to help with the preparation. Then give them what they DO eat and not comment AT ALL.

[LegoCaltrops]

And yes to measuring the height & checking this on the centile, if you're worried. Or can you take him to the GP, they could do this & maybe offer some other advice & check him over aswell.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I'd take him to the GP, take your red book, tell them your concerns. Get the GP to weigh and measure him and make sure they record it in your red book and make sure they check his ears and throat. They should record the measurements in your red book automatically as the information will be needed if they decide to refer you, our GP can be a bit lazy with it and needs asking. They might also want to check for a urine infection.

Then stop making alternatives. If he refuses a meal, just assume he's not hungry, take it away and wait until the next snack/mealtime and try something else then. If he moans he's hungry in the meantime offer him the food he refused earlier. It will take a few days for him to realise that he needs to eat what is on his plate or go hungry, but he will get there.

If you want sone more reassurance read My Child Won't Eat by Carlos Gonzalez. It was recommended to me when dd was being fussy but was out of print then. Thankfully its back in print and is often recommended on here

[ppeatfruit]

Well jilted I wouldn't want to be MADE to eat what I don't fancy why shouldn't a chid be allowed feelings? IMO you're asking for problems by making meals into battlegrounds poor little boy.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

If I gave my dd what she would eat, she would have an extremely limited diet, I'm taking just toasted cheese sandwich. I do let her choose and often, she also helps with preparation. We've done this with DS too and he now eats everything apart from fresh tomatoes.

No battleground here

[cantthinkofagoodone]

Just offer 3 meals a day, 2 snacks and let him get on with it. Try not to fuss and don't offer any sweet alternatives like yoghurt.

If ds doesn't eat he waits until the next snack or mealtime.

I think family mealtimes help too.

[chartreuse]

When I'm unwell I lose my appetite, and the situation wouldn't be helped by someone trying to force me to eat!

Do yourself a favour and don't turn mealtimes into an emotional battleground. If he eats he eats, if he doesn't he doesn't. Try to be as matter if fact and unemotional as possible. I say this as the mother of a 13 year old fussy eater. It's hard I know, but you getting worked up about what he is or isn't eating won't help either of you.

[ppeatfruit]

Yes jilted but IME they grow out of the fussy stage naturally without any worry at all. It's quite normal and shouldn't be made too much of.

canthinkof Agree eating as a family or with their friends helps too. as long as it's not 2 parents 'trying' to get the to child eat.

[lola88]

I sound like a terrible mother saying this but I don't feed DS for a couple of hours sometimes more after he gets up so by the time he eats he's properly hungry otherwise he just picks and wants to go play, I've found unless he's very hungry he won't eat much and he only eats the equivalent of 2 meals a day spread out into 3 or 4 sittings. I also only give him what i know he will eat so tiny amounts (had some disapproving looks for that) and give him more if he asks for it. I got sick of the wastage I try to make him things that can be re heated and if i make him a sandwich I give him a quarter then put the rest in the fridge for him to eat later or give it to DP to scoff if not eaten by bedtime.

He's big for his age and healthy so I don't worry about it, I think he just doesn't have a large appetite and doesn't need as much food as other kids. DS has also got skinny lately but I think it's just him losing his baby pudge because he's still growing upward.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

How am I suggesting she "makes too much off"? (Wonders off to search for puzzled emoticon)

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Or of even

[lola88]

www.infantandtoddlerforum.org/toddler-portion-sizes#.Usk99vRdWSo

[ppeatfruit]

lola88 Yes exactly; no you're sound like a very good mother to me Congratulations!!!

[lola88]

thanks :)

[googietheegg]

There's nothing wrong with just having yoghurt if he's poorly. You could try this too / I did it yesterday and dd loved it - freeze slices of ripe banana then blend with Greek yoghurt. It's delicious banana ice cream!

[ppeatfruit]

YYY Chartreuse. I never made an issue out of eating with any of my mindees or DCs and they're fine. Some dcs are naturally chubby and some are not, we're all different; percentiles are a load of crap IME and IMO!!.

[starlight1234]

I would stop making 3 breakfasts...If he is off his food because he is unwell..he will eat you out of house and home when he feels better...Get him checked over by GP..IF you are finding he is liking soft foods there is huge variety of stuff you can do, cheese and potatoe pie, fish in butter sauce. My DS's poorly food is rice pudding when he is ill if he wants noting he will have a bit of rice pudding.

[roweeena]

Please get him checked by GP, sounds like he is unwell & this is putting him off the good which is totally reasonable - once he improves so will his diet eventually.

Get him checked by GP as its obvious you have concerns which should be assessed

[CrispsCrispsCrisps]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I agree, if he's not feeling well he will be off his food. I am too if I feel unwell.

The doctor checked his throat, ears and chest and said it's clear and suspected it was something he had a few days before I took him to the doctor and the worst of it had passed.

He does have porridge and ready brek but usually after a few mouthfuls will say "don't want it" We think some of this is down to boredom because if I then give him a toy he will eat it all

[CrispsCrispsCrisps]

Thanks Jilted, I'll look up the book

[HomeHypno]

If your health visitor or GP are concerned they may recommend fortified drinks or milkshakes, if it is not that bad I am sure it will be fine and soon it will hopefully be a distant memory.

I remember an exercise from a SureStart weaning/healthy eating workshop re poor/fussy eating. Everyone was asked to think if they know anyone who hasn't eventually learned to eat (and use knife+fork, drink from cup rather than baby bottle etc) and the conclusion wasthat in general we all learn to eat and drink rather too well for our own good, pretty much regardless what our parents did or how we were raised....!