10 week old worse not better, advice please.

[Ginnytonic82]

Hi I'm afraid this is a long one but I've no idea where to turn for some advice. I've posted before about my baby Ds and his chronic wind. As stated in that thread we have tried everything from colief to massage to anti colic bottles to infant gaviscon.

Two weeks ago and somewhat miraculously Ds seemed to really settle down. The wind wasn't troubling him, his colic seemed to pass. It was a massive relief. However 5 days ago Ds began crying constantly for food. He went from 4oz every 3 hours to wanting 5oz every 1 and a half to 2 hours. Wasn't too concerned as I assumed it was a growth spurt. Following that (sorry for tmi) he had 5 dirty nappies. He had been slightly constipated due to infant gaviscon and was taking lactulose. The nappies all had different consistency and were a very pale yellow. Since then he has been constantly breaking wind and squirming in discomfort. His feeds have become totally erratic, he's taking 2oz then refusing, then screaming and draining 4oz and bringing it back up. He has also continued to poo several times a day and they are still much paler than they used to be. He saw the dr yesterday, who just said he's fine.

Is this possibly colic round two? Could it be something else? We had reflux and lactose intolerance ruled out. Has anyone been through similar with their Dc? I have pnd and felt there was light at the end of the tunnel, but now I've crashed back down as he seems even worse! If anyone has any advice it would be extremely gratefully received. I hate seeing poor Ds like this.

[ancientbuchanan]

Is he bright eyed and paying attention, as far as you can see? Have his poos become paler today?

If either of those of true or if you are concerned, go to the Dr again it ring the OOH number. People have time for small babies, any babies, and your instinct is prob right.

That said, Ds screamed the place down, could be heard at end of street, and has grown up fine.

BTW, I struggled for about 4 years with pnd before doing anything about it. Don't let it go that long.

Once again, if you are worried ring, it's worth it, especially tonight before the hospitals are busy with the new year revellers, if you had to go to hospital.

Hope everything is ok.

[ancientbuchanan]

Got the first bit wrong as I hope you understood, if he is listless you should contact people ASAP.

Ds suffered various rounds of colic, but as long as he seemed ok in himself I wasn't usually too concerned.

[Ginnytonic82]

Thanks for the fast reply! His poos got paler around four days ago. I mentioned it to my dr but he seemed unconcerned. Ds is very alert, etc and has no temp. The dr wasn't bothered by anything we told him, I think I'm just a crap mum to be honest! I feel terrible for Ds he is very uncomfortable. The dr saw how he was yesterday, listened to his tummy etc, but said he's fine, wind is caused by an immature gut and leave it til 12 weeks. I don't know how that's the case when he's so uncomfortable all the time, I keep thinking it's how I feed him or how I wind him. How can two weeks growth sort it?

[ancientbuchanan]

You are not a crap mum, esp if it is your first! People don't tell you that some, possibly most, babies are difficult, esp the first one. You are training on it...he is training you. If it were your twelfth you would prob ignore him...

But my Ds went through those infuriating wanting to feed every minute, then puked up, then screamed till fed again, stages. And weight didn't seem to go on relative to feeding sessions, either.

Yes, their guts do grow but also they are so little that if they are paying attention etc, Drs don't usually want to do anything if they can avoid it.

Does he react better to being rocked, one way or another? Ds liked vertical but not horizontal. He liked being in front of the washing machine on its spin cycle. But being driven around did nothing for him, whereas I know there are certain roundabouts found which bleary eyed parents drive to get bugger to shut up. And a friend of mine confessed that he used to talk to colleagues swaying from side to side as he spent hours every evening having to do so.

A warm, not hot, hot water bottle applied to the tum while you are holding him sometimes works.

From what you say, are you FFing him? Change of formula? Ds reacted badly to some when I stopped EBFing.

[ancientbuchanan]

He may be better in a vertical position. Can you put him in a sling or shawl.and carry him? Then he would have your nearness and smell and warmth with being upright. Sometimes helps.

( didn't with Ds, but nothing did. On one occasion he screamed for six hours without stopping, refusing all liquids, food etc. We have survived.)

[TeamSouthfields]

sit him up, sometimes help pain..

Dr Brown's bottles

stay down / comfort formula

gripe water

[Gileswithachainsaw]

You say you have had lactose intolerence ruled out.

What about cows milk protein intolerence?

[Ginnytonic82]

Thanks everyone, yes he is my first, I kind of get the feeling sometimes that a couple of the drs we've seen think I'm over reacting - I probably am! My mum always says babies cry that's all they can do. I do understand that, I'm just pretty certain that most are happier than Ds. Thank you for the suggestions. We do sit him up for about 20 mins after a feed and I do wear him a fair bit but he's a hefty little chap. giles thanks for that suggestion, I have thought it could be another kind of intolerance. When I asked for him to have a lactose intolerance test the dr (a locum) was very difficult and acted like I was totally over reacting. My HV had to call the surgery for them to listen. I had considered buying a hypoallergenic formular to try but I'm scared of changing things.

[Tiredemma]

My dd was like this. I changed her formula to 'comfort milk' and it stopped ( also use the tommee tippe anti colic bottles)

[Gileswithachainsaw]

They will be reluctant because unfortunately the hypoallergenic formulas are very expensive. The lacto free ones I think aren't as much and fairly easily available. But the ones for CMPI are around £30 a tub.

I would go back and see a different dr because they always diagnose colic or reflux.

Colic is just a fancy name for "unexplained crying" it's not an answer and they don't really know what causes it.

Definately get a second opinion.your baby sounds worse than mine was (mine wasn't sick at least) and the aptamil pepti changed all that. It was like having a different baby.

[JingleJohnsJulie]

Can totally sympathise as my DS was very clingy. Has he ever been checked for tongue tie?

[TheBakeryQueen]

It does sound like an intolerance, especially the pale poo.

I would go back, and ask for a referral. Don't let them tell you that you are overreacting. You're not. You're his mum, you know best. Even if it turns out that he is fine (maybe a tummy bug), then there is nothing to be lost in getting everything checked out. You are doing your very best to help him, you sound like a lovely mum. Have some confidence in yourself.

At the GPs be polite but FIRM.

[Ginnytonic82]

Thanks everyone, I'm just so fed up of everyone telling me to ride it out. As I type Dh is cuddling Ds who is screaming the house down and has been for 3 hours now. I have seen all the gps at my practice and a paediatrician but they all say the same. No one seems to get how bad it is. I wish I could run away sometimes because every day is the same exhausting struggle. I feel like Ds hates me. Me and Dh hardly ever argue but we had some cross words because he doesn't see how I can hate being a mum so much. I'm sorry I'm just falling to bits today. I'm such a fuck up.

[Tiredemma]

Ginny you are not a fuck up. You just have a baby that cannot tell you what is wrong.

Try comfort milk- its thicker so tend to stay down.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Why don't you film it? Take pics of the nappies and make sure you record all the times and lengths if the crying outbursts.

Does your baby have eczema or really dry skin? Is he snuffly at all?

[MNPinto2014]

Which formula are you using?

Will he take a dummy?

Does he sleep in the car?

Hugs, your not a crap mum, your a concerned mum. Colic is a get out diagnosis not a reason/cause of the constant crying.

[HermioneWeasley]

Have you tried infacol? T'was a god send in this house.

[Longtalljosie]

Both of mine were like this - google Grunting Baby Syndrome. It will get better around the 12 week front, honest. It's the baby's physiology - not your fault!

[Longtalljosie]

And you're not a fuck up either. We ALL feel like this at times in the very early weeks. It will pass.

[PumpkinPie2013]

Sorry you're having a bad time and the doctors aren't helping you

You're not a bad mum - you are doing your very best and your ds will know you love him lots.

I agree with the above - can you film him/take pics/keep a diary? Keep pushing the doctors for help. Have you spoken to your hv? Can they help to get more help from a doctor?

I hope you get sorted soon xx

[Ginnytonic82]

Thanks so much, I've been feeling really isolated but speaking to everyone here helps a lot. I hope no one will feel I'm being dismissive and I'm extremely grateful for everyone's input. Ds has had comfort milk, all the available "colic" medications - including gripe water and infacol. My HV has been great but I feel like I can't keep pestering her. We have another appointment at the gps on Tuesday. Ds always seems happy and very settled when out - the grunting and whining stops. I did film him and took a weeks diary in and was told some was normal baby behaviour some was colic. We have sent off poo sam

[Ginnytonic82]

Sorry posted too soon. We've sent off poo samples so we will have to see.

From the bottom of my heart though thank you. I feel so lonely with this despite the love and support of my family. I feel no one gets it. So to receive your replies, which take me seriously and speak from experience is so comforting x

[ancientbuchanan]

Ginny, I wanted to give my baby to my sister cos I knew she would be a better mother than me. It's a shit feeling. And Ds threw up the whole time and screamed for hours. And hours. You could hear him from the end of the road about 15 houses away. i. And I was EBF ING.

You are not alone, and not alone feeling this. But if it continues you should see a Dr for pnd. . Is there someone in RL who can give you a break? And if he likes being taken out, can you take him out until your feet are sore? Ds would only shut up if he was in his cram in front of the washing machine which had to be on. Our clothes, bedding and everything else have never been so clean. If that was what it took, so be it.

But yes, have thought back and recall that we had a break from colic and then at about this stage hours of washing machine, sitting in the rocking chair and rocking.

Eventually a wise cousin of mine told me not to take it to heart, screaming is exercise, she said.

[ancientbuchanan]

Ginny, I wanted to give my baby to my sister cos I knew she would be a better mother than me. It's a shit feeling. And Ds threw up the whole time and screamed for hours. And hours. You could hear him from the end of the road about 15 houses away. i. And I was EBF ING.

You are not alone, and not alone feeling this. But if it continues you should see a Dr for pnd. . Is there someone in RL who can give you a break? And if he likes being taken out, can you take him out until your feet are sore? Ds would only shut up if he was in his cram in front of the washing machine which had to be on. Our clothes, bedding and everything else have never been so clean. If that was what it took, so be it.

But yes, have thought back and recall that we had a break from colic and then at about this stage hours of washing machine, sitting in the rocking chair and rocking.

Eventually a wise cousin of mine told me not to take it to heart, screaming is exercise, she said.

[Ginnytonic82]

Can't stop saying thank you as I'm so grateful truly. ancient thank you for that. I do feel like I need to say something to the dr about pnd but don't feel I can. My HV did the questionnaire with me and she said I had high anxiety but last time she came I was having a good day - Ds was better and my Dh was off work for Christmas and he is an enormous help when he isn't working. How could I bring it up and if I do what will happen? I don't want anything to happen to Ds x