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how to discipline a child who refuses to sleep without disturbing siblings?

(35 Posts)
tiamariaxxx Sat 21-Dec-13 20:44:10

Hi, im wondering if anyone has been in similar situation (please if you have no experience or helping advice please dont comment) Sorry if that sounds harsh or im been rude but i posted the question a while ago on another site and had some very un-helpful comments from so called "perfect children"

Basically my 5 year old and 3 year old sons share a room, my 5 year old has never been a good sleeper (eg waking through night for hours on end and generally not been tired for bed, surviving on 4-6 hours sleep and still been full of energy). Hes been like this since he just turned 1 we go through good and bad phases but hes never asleep before 10pm which is hard because my 3 year old is the totally opposite and is usually asleep around 7pm-8pm. My 5 year old isnt been naughty as such but hes just not tired as its saturday hes allowed to stay down stairs and you can tell hes not tired yet. I wake him at 6.30am on school mornings so he is actually getting around 7 and half hours these days.

Ive tried all sorts had loads of advice in the past from hv, family workers and most recently school nurse and nothing works, its getting to the point where hes getting upset because hes saying he cant help it and feels were been mad with him and sorry for waking his brother. Ive spoke to his teacher on numerous occasions asking if shes thinks hes tired and she said not particually but my youngests nursery teacher keeps making comments about him been tired, luckilly she taught my other so she knows the situation.

It has been suggested i get him checked by a behaviour person due to his hyperactiveness (we have cut out alot of foods since he was 3 to try kerb this but hasnt worked) the teacher doesnt think there is any need and hes just boysterouse.

What were doing at the moment is my youngest goes bed at 6.45 and he falls asleep when he falls asleep and we keep the other up until hes asleep and then i read him a story downstairs and we have a cuddle and usually he gets in his bed around 8pm but hes in and out until around 10pm and hes putting light on an messing around talking to himself and waking him up. This as though been the most succesful routine weve had but still not ideal. Sticker charts etc do not work lost cound number of times weve tried


Oblomov Sun 22-Dec-13 12:21:53

Unless if course this is medical. Maybe you insist on referal. I was fobbed off repeatedly. But through sheer determination finally got an Aspergers diagnosis.

RandomMess Sun 22-Dec-13 12:35:52

Ob - I have meet you when your ds2 was newborn, the practioner I used is in Windsor and it was worth absolutely EVERY £ we spent, I am sceptic turned convert. He will help your ds1 with his sleep and aspergers, make him sleep more and better and help calm him.

PM me if you want to consider it as an option.

tiamariaxxx Sun 22-Dec-13 12:42:40

Thanks, hes not naughty in the slightliest compared to my younger 1 who is very sneaky with it he hurts his brother and sister which he is always in trouble for but ds1 would never hurt them hes so caring apart from his hyperativeness or boysterous behaviour as the teacher calls it, she said hes a good kid and is very intelligent compared to a lot of the kids i ageree i deffinately need to push for him to get checked out this has gone on long enough and he is very sensitive bless him

We have bunk beds but ds1 is on the bottom hes also scared of heights so makes sence and hes close to the night light and not disturbing his brother as much climbing up and down and also the nightw when he has his accidents its easier for me

Like i said we have had an appointment with a incontinence specialist and got a follow up in january, shes not concerened about the bed wetting and luckilly its not ever night but i do have to lift him and the younger 1 aswell as hes in pull ups atm but they leak if i leave him. Its more the pooing he is insistent that he cant feel it coming he tries to get to the toilt but he doesnt make it half the times sad

RodneyTheChristmasElf Sun 22-Dec-13 18:43:56

My daughter has Asperger's and could never get to sleep and when she did eventually fall asleep around 2.00 am was up again at 6.00 am. I was at breaking point. Then we got a weighted blanket (on prescription in our country), which are highly recommended for people on the autistic spectrum. I was sceptical but I cannot believe what a difference it made. It's a miracle.

tiamariaxxx Sun 22-Dec-13 22:56:10

I just quickly want to ask another opinion, So tonight my boys are sleeping at the in laws, MIL has just phoned to say that ds1 fell asleep at arount 10 to 9 on the sofa watching a film cuddled up to the dog, and ds2 also fell asleep on the sofa about 8.30 (bit late for him).

Earliest ds1 has gone to sleep in months, he generally does slep better at their house think because they dont have a routine and its like an holiday for him. Wondering if it would be bad of me to let him have a film on in the living room on a night? See how it works

RodneyTheChristmasElf Sun 22-Dec-13 23:11:11

If it works, then do it. One of the problems I had with my daughter was constantly trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Once I accepted she was a square peg life got so much easier. Do what works for your family and don't worry about what you think you 'should' be doing. That way madness lies.

Mishmashofstyles Sun 22-Dec-13 23:16:12

I never slept as a child.

Once I could quietly read by myself I did that. I used to sleep three, maybe four hours?

I clearly should have been getting more rest and looking back I wish I could have had melatonin or something. My mum took me to the doctors loads of times but they never offered anything. It was probably different back then.

I sleep much more now I am older, but I'm still not great. Still an insomniac to be honest.

tiamariaxxx Sun 22-Dec-13 23:31:32

Well deffinately going to try it at home smile I just worry it wont work and then he will want to do it all time

Mishmashofstyles Apparently i never slept as a child my mum says its karma but i dont actually remember lol

I go through phases where i dont sleep but i think thats more to do with waiting for 1 of the kids to wake

perlona Fri 27-Dec-13 00:19:14

Is he getting enough exercise? Dd won't sleep unless she's been running around for at least a few of hours plus a couple of long, brisk walks, lot's of fresh air, limited television, no sugar or artificial sweeteners. When she was a baby and couldn't move enough, it was torture, she never slept more than 20 minutes straight, always moving. The only thing that works is wearing her out, although now that she sleeps 10-12 hours she seems to need less activity than she used to and is much calmer (although it took a long time to get her to that).

Have him run about in the park until he's exhausted (and make him actually run, as in do laps), keep the house calm, no background noise from television for two hours before bed (preferable not to have any of that at all actually), no junk food, keep the house quiet when he's in bed and he'll be tired and relaxed enough to sleep.

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:37:15

He does get plenty of excersise he runs around like a looney, we send him out on his trampoline when hes climbing the walls. Hes doesnt have that much junk anyway we have cut certain things out of his diet since he was 2 and hasnt made a difference. Its hard as i have to stick to a strict routine for the sake of the other kids

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