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bf v ff

(91 Posts)
zoesmum2012 Wed 13-Nov-13 11:22:05

Just really wanted to open chat about the above cos I don't think bf is all that and ff isn't as bad is its made out to be my dd bf for few day then ff and she's fine!! Even my hv said studys about bf don't tell the truth cos money family support etc isn't taken into account ps no nasty comments on how am evil etc

kilmuir Wed 13-Nov-13 14:18:42

Breast is best

Tiredemma Wed 13-Nov-13 14:20:45

lets have a discussion about people who dont bother feeding their kids at all

thats a much better discussion.

BopsX3 Wed 13-Nov-13 14:27:16

I FF all 3 of my boys. I wanted to BF with my first but decided it wasn't for me, I personally just wasn't comfortable with it because of my own insecurities. I think there are pros and cons to both and the parents should just do what's right for them and shouldn't be made to feel guilty no matter what their choice. I also don't think they should be pressurised or persuaded either way.

I really don't think there should be any kind of debate over which is best. The best kind of feeding is the kind that suits the family.

zoesmum2012 Wed 13-Nov-13 14:58:29

Ok good points but what have all of urs done to help bf mothers to stay bf apart from saying it will get better ? Maybe insteed of ff bashing form a helpline local support group give ur old breast pump for free and so and so surely that's better then bashing looking down on ff mothers my dd 11 m and I still feel like I failed her that she needing more bm then fews day then mixed for a while. But in the bf crew am a bad mum

NomDeClavier Wed 13-Nov-13 15:09:49

'Maybe insteed of ff bashing form a helpline local support group give ur old breast pump for free'

Because you need funding for premises or a phone line, training and insurance. Unskilled intervention is more likely to do harm than good and training as a BFC takes a couple of years and frequently a pile of cash.

And don't whatever you do pass on an old breast pump unless it's a closed system one!

BF isn't exactly the same as FF. It doesn't do anyone any favours to say FF is as good for babies, but stating that fact doesn't mean you're FF bashing. FF can be infinitely better for some mothers emotionally and the protection against various types of cancer is little consolation if you're in unimaginable pain from thrush/mastitis/milk blisters so it's luck of the draw physically too.

There needs to be a lot more infant feeding support full stop. The number of parents who don't know how to prepare bottles of formula safely is scary, and that's entirely unrelated to BF support.

BaronessBomburst Wed 13-Nov-13 15:13:51

Can someone repost Chaos' post in Latin please? smile

ShowOfBloodyStumps Wed 13-Nov-13 15:17:33

Nobody is bashing. I am a bfing peer supporter. I give up my own time to help bfing mothers.

gamerchick Wed 13-Nov-13 16:08:17

In my experience breastfeeding mothers get a hell of a lot more abuse and name calling than formula feeders OP.

I'm torn between whether you're disappointed somewhat your thread hasn't turned into a bunfight or you're projecting feeling like a failure and want to be told so.

A good mother feeds their baby.. which you've done.. everything else is just gravy.

zoesmum2012 Wed 13-Nov-13 16:42:51

Hmmm am in the middle of helping friends set up a fb group for bf mothers to get help and chat though the long nights ahead no money and no training ( partly why I asked ) so yeah u can I didn't want a bum fight nor bitching nor am I saying ff is better just after doing my own research there's a very good chance that bf and ff babies grow up the same with illness and so and so the way there fed has little to do with that in my own little research study thing no harm indended ( yes I can't spell ) and am sorry if I came acoss as a bitch bum fight pro. I really am why can't be all put the boob and bottle down and support each other ps its trure I feel like a faulire

WestieMamma Wed 13-Nov-13 16:51:27

*sniggers at 'bum fight'

forgetmenots Wed 13-Nov-13 17:14:31

I think we need to stop criticising others' feeding choices either way. Full stop. There are health, nutritional benefits to bf that are amazing but as pobble said some of our babies would not be here without the advances in formula. Enough.

gamerchick Wed 13-Nov-13 17:17:47

You're the one who started the thread then got ratty with people. This is the best behaved thread on the issue I've ever seen.

TheFabulousIdiot Wed 13-Nov-13 17:19:17

Breast milk is best and normal and natural.

Did I do ok?

forgetmenots Wed 13-Nov-13 18:45:30

You did just great TheFabulousIdiot. Applause!
To which I'd add formula is great, normal and, in some cases, an actual lifesaver.

(Pssst - did we actually avoid the bunfight? Hooray!)

NomDeClavier Wed 13-Nov-13 18:48:49

Chatting is one thing, but all you can do on a FB group or on MN is tell people to hang in there, it will get better, check the latch, try a different position. That's a start but it's not the support that will keep people BFing when they're in trouble.

For more than that you need to see people in person, which means they come to you in a centralised space (that you probably need to rent and have insurance for) or you go to them (which means paying travel). To get to the bottom of problems you do need training.

Those of us who do support BFing mothers in person know it's not something that is easy, and that there are issues that will be solved by someone telling you to keep going or spouting off the evils of FF. There are many very knowledgeable posters in the feeding section who do their best to provide online encouragement and support to mothers however they feed their baby. This kind of thread isn't constructive.

NomDeClavier Wed 13-Nov-13 18:49:25

Issues that will not be solved rather!

forgetmenots Wed 13-Nov-13 18:59:38

Hear hear Nom. On that topic I'd like to give an un-MN hug and thanks to tiktok who gave great advice when I was combifeeding, after being devastated by not ebf amazingly, her support was top notch. That was truly constructive.

loveolives Wed 13-Nov-13 20:12:38

Please speak properly.

Cosmo89 Wed 13-Nov-13 21:03:06


brettgirl2 Wed 13-Nov-13 21:16:55

I agree with tiredemma

Teaandflapjacks Wed 13-Nov-13 21:56:14

I also agree with Tiredemma grin

pointyfangs Wed 13-Nov-13 22:47:16

I bf for 13 months both times. I have friends who gave bf their all but it did not work for them. I have friends who said they would not bf and then changed their minds and made it work. The main thing is not to judge.

However on a large scale level, bf is better if you can do it. The data on basic health is pretty clear. So bags of sympathy to those who tried and couldn't, but little for those who did not give it a shot at all and had no medical grounds for not trying.

MoominsYonisAreScary Thu 14-Nov-13 14:45:27

See thats the thing, nobody actually wants sympathy, why would we?

MabelBee Thu 14-Nov-13 15:10:32

Health visitors are just people with opinions. They aren't lactation specialists and should be banned from issuing any advice about feeding babies other than referring people on. Saying "even my health visitor said" has as much leverage as "even my postman said."

mrsmartin1984 Thu 14-Nov-13 15:31:18

Hear hear, I've heard HV give some truely terrible advice

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