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How Can I Deal With This?

(5 Posts)
Bumpinthenight1 Sun 10-Nov-13 09:23:48

Can I have some advice please?
My son is in Reception and is very friendly with another little boy already. They get on brilliantly.
My problem is the little boys Dad. He is a stay at home Dad, he seems a great guy, friendly with all the mums and messes around with all the kids. All the kids think he is great. He is however very tactile with some of the children, and because my boy is best friend's with his son, my boy gets touched a lot. Everyday, morning and afternoon.
Now mostly this is a rub of the head or sometimes just a high 5, but he has picked him up, he has grabbed the back of his neck in a kind of massage thing, lots of under arm tickles. I have been trying to get used to it but the frequency of touching and the fact that NO-ONE else (non-family) touches my children like this in this kind of frequency it is now starting to upset me.
I have talked to my husband and friends about it and they think I should ask him to stop touching, but how do I do this without creating a situation??! I have now started trying to avoid him by getting to school late so he has already dropped off and trying to keep my children away from him but my Son just wants to be with his boy.
My gut feeling is that if it makes me feel uncomfortable I need to stop it or am I just being over sensitive??

Jiltedjohnsjulie Sun 10-Nov-13 09:46:04

How tactile is he with adults? Could he just be a very touchy person?

ChippingInLovesAutumn Sun 10-Nov-13 09:48:34

Did you need two threads about this?

I will repeat what I said on your other thread...

Try doing an advanced search - there was a thread exactly like this not very long ago.

Bumpinthenight1 Sun 10-Nov-13 10:46:50

Sorry posted this in wrong place so moved elsewhere. Pls ignore

FastWindow Sun 10-Nov-13 12:09:04

If he was family would you feel ok about it?

If the answer is yes then I think maybe you could try to build up a friendship with this sahd and find out your gut feelings.

If it was a sahm doing the same would you be fine with it?

Just seems like dads can't do right for doing wrong. If he's a sahd, chances are he likes children. In a good way. Are his own kids happy and well adjusted?

If you wanted to broach it with him I would go along the lines of saying your son find it all a bit overwhelming and to tone down the rough and tumble. In no way accuse him of overfamiliarity in such a way as to make him think it's a trust issue.

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