social services initial assessment(4 Posts)
I had an assessment done on myself and my then new boyfriend back in July as I wasn't aware of his criminal history and someone called social services.
I have 3 kids.
Checks on kids all came back fine. No problems but it brought up a lot of stuff in my past dating 2004-2006 from where I was a young mum in violent relationship. This was my eldest 2s dad and I left and sorted my life out. I have a 2 yr old with another guy and he's now demanding to see this assessment. I feel it's very personal to me, it's not just about his son. It's my whole life in black and white. Will social services give him a copy of the report if he requests? He has PR, is he entitled to know everything in the report. He knows social services have closed the case and they have no concerns. My 2 yr old dad is listed as a risk factor in the report due to issues with him threatening to not return DS. I've told him the outcome but don't feel he needs to read everything about me that's in the report. His son is not at risk from myself and never will be.
Also the relationship with that boyfriend was over when I found out the truth about his history. I certainly had no idea when I was dating him about his background.
I think you should ring SS / your social worker to ask. I can't see why he should be allowed to see personal information about you if he was the one listed as a risk factor in the report, and I would ask if your own information can remain confidential. If the case is closed I imagine they would just tell him that but I don't know for sure.
No social services will not give him a copy if he asks.It is confidential.That however could change if you were to start the relationship with the boyfriend again as it would be perceived that you would be prioritising your need for a relationship above the needs of your children.What I feel is more of an issue is that somehow you are attracting men with a history of violence.Men like that manage to seek out vulnerable women.Have you ever done any work for yourself surronding domestic violence such as pattern changing? It's really empowering and helps you to view men and relationships in a very different way.Your social worker should be able to put your name forwards for one.This also demonstrates a willingness to work with proffesionals to keep yourself and your children safe.Well done for ending the relationship with the boyfriend.You are really a great mum for doing that.
I would never go back to him . It was real eye opening and quite scary seeing the report. I would never risk losing my kids over a man. I have looked at the freedom programme online but wasn't sure if it was something that would benefit me. Nothing else has been offered but would defo do anything to stop me making mistakes surrounding men. Not that I plan to get involved with another until my kids have left home haha. It's certainly going to be near impossible after this to trust anyone around my kids again.
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