Crying in front of your child

[Toklastennis]

Ds is 4 months and sometimes (maybe 4 or 5 times a wk) I find myself crying in front of him. Mostly I am doing ok but Dh works long hours and sometimes the tiredness and loneliness gets to me a bit.

My question is - does anyone else do this? Do you think it will affect ds? Obviously I try not to let him see but I feel so guilty and am worried it will mess him up somehow. On the other hand, feeling guilty just makes everything worse so I'm trying to think it might be an ok way to let out some emotions. How do other people cope?

[BeanoNoir]

I worried about breaking down once in front of my dd when I wasn't coping with her and newborn ds. I spoke to my sister who was great and told me that if I never showed negative emotions in front of my children, like getting upset, then when they felt upset they might think they shouldn't show it because they haven't seen it from me. It's kind of healthy for them to see that people cry when they're upset and that that's ok.

Although it's probably best to, like you say, try not to do it, it's not going to harm your dc imo. It can't be very nice for you though, and to me 4 times a week seems quite a lot. Are you ok? Can you get any more support in rl? It's really tough bringing up a baby and you need to try and get breaks/rest when you can.

[BeanoNoir]

If you can't get help from someone else try and give yourself little treats throughout the day. A little bit of wine and choc in the eve? Do you get out to any baby groups?

[BillStickersIsInnocent]

Can I ask, is that a usual amount if crying for you, ie, pre children. I've cried in front of my children a few times, lots more when I was suffering with ante-natal depression with DC2.

Being a parent is tough, that goes without saying, but do you think you might be depressed?

[JuliaScurr]

Beano's sister is right; it shows kids it is normal

[Mattissy]

It's normal, mine have seen me cry plenty. One day I'm hoping they'll realise I'm human! Lol

My concern is not that you're crying but the reason why, that's the thing you'll need to address sooner rather than later. Get yourself out, even if it's just for a walk in the park with baby at first, the fresh air and peacefulness will do you the world of good. A smile from a random stranger will make you feel happier, honestly it's a small thing that goes a long way.

[Toklastennis]

Thank you - I feel reassured that it's not too wierd for ds.

I am having a bit of a hard time and have spoken to my HV about it. I had antenatal depression so I'm definitely crying less than when I was pregnant! But I don't think it's that serious - life is just tough at the moment and apart from the crying I'm holding up quite well.

[timidviper]

I cry really easily so my DCs have seen me cry a lot. They are now 25 and 23 and are normal young people so hopefully not scarred for life by it

[bigwellylittlewelly]

My children (especially my older one) have seen me emotional, I attempt to explain why I am laughing, crying or angry because I want them to see its healthy to have motions and how to deal with them.

That said I do try very hard to not break down when we have hospital appointments (dd has a lengthy medical history) because she becomes distressed and added to the anxiety about being in a hospital environment it isn't good for her.

Can you get out more OP? sure start or local library? The early months are very tough emotionally - I am currently undergoing treatment for depression (not post natal) and one worry of the therapist was that I don't cry since having dc2.

[AngelicaFirestar]

I cried in front of DD 3yo the other day. Real blub sobbing. It was in the car. She said to DH, 'is Mummy crying? Does she need a cuddle?' So she wasn't traumatised, but offering me the same that I give her when she's upset. I am sure your DS will be quite fine. I hope you start to feel better though.

[NorthEasterlyGale]

I cried a lot in front of DS1 in the early months. Tried not to, but exhaustion and the overwhelming relentlessness of parenting a newborn got the better of me frequently. Doesn't seem to have done him any harm as he's a wonderfully smiley 17 months old now.

Last time I cried in front of him (a week or so ago when I was lying on the bed and he sat down rather heavily on the bump that will be DS2 in 16 weeks) he looked worried and gave me his lovey to try and make it better. Such a sweety

[Nagoo]

I wouldn't think twice about crying in front of a baby, and now my DC are bigger I do cry in front of them, because they need to know they being sad is normal and a part of life not to be ashamed of. That's usually when I'm crying for 'things' rather than feelings though. I can explain the crying for 'things' to them. They are only little.

[ToddlerTwinsAndUnhinged]

So, 6 years on, do you think your crying affected your child?

[mindutopia]

Oh gosh, wait until they’re 6. You’ll cry a lot!

No, it’s completely normal. Life can be hard and crying shows normal healthy emotions. If it’s so much that you truly aren’t coping and are depressed, there is support. But on occasion, yes, fine and normal.

[Bol87]

It’s fine, I’ve sobbed in front my two year old midst Hyperemesis this pregnancy! At times, I’ve felt really worried about doing it as she’s looked so concerned but I’ve explained mummy is poorly and sometimes feels sad. She gives me a cuddle, fetches me a blanket and then carries on playing!

I’m feeling a little better these days & she’s not remotely effected from what I can see!