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I've been such a shit mother today, desolate.

(18 Posts)
CrockedPot Sat 26-Oct-13 23:41:16

My 6 yr old ds was on my lap top today and I wasn't watching what he was looking at. Before I knew it, he had spotted the 'Michael Jackson ghost' viral video which was on my Facebook page (a fake news item which ends in a screaming picture of MJ in zombie mode designed to make the viewer jump) and opened and watched it. I only realised when he screamed, covered his eyes with his hands and started crying, saying 'why did you let me see that mummy?' I cuddled him and comforted him and he seemed ok but I am in horror at what has happened. I have worked myself up into a real state about it, as I feel that I am the person who should protect him from that stuff, and I let him down, very, very badly.
I am so upset, feel terrible. Do you think he will be affected by this? What can I do to make it better?

DollyShouldHaveDumpedStiva Sat 26-Oct-13 23:49:33

Oh, poor you! I understand your feeling, it's as bad as when you're not watching your toddler properly and they hurt themselves.

Sorry no helpful advice on how to deal with it, but stop beating yourself up, you're not a shit mother, you just took your eye off the ball for a minute. He could have seen far, far, worse things on the internet, at least you can truthfully say it was just a made-up silly thing - he hasn't seen something real and disturbing that you have to explain about.

gussiegrips Sat 26-Oct-13 23:50:00

I let my 18 month old eat a dog poo by accident. I'm a worse mother than you. x

gussiegrips Sat 26-Oct-13 23:50:50

I let my 18 month old eat a dog poo by accident. I'm a worse mother than you. x

gussiegrips Sat 26-Oct-13 23:51:53

Once. I let him eat poo once. Not twice. Twice would be SS bad. Just the once.

CrockedPot Sat 26-Oct-13 23:55:21

Thanks dolly, I did say that and explained how it had been made o to make people jump and it was supposed to be funny (trying to make light) and we went on to have a nice day out. When we got back though, he didn't want to go upstairs by himself, and he has never been like that, always a very independent little boy, and I just can't stop thinking about it, that I allowed a scary, horrible image to get into his head.
Dh thinks I am overreacting hugely, but I am genuinely feeling wracked with guilt.

CrockedPot Sat 26-Oct-13 23:58:39

Thanks too gusslegrips - would have made me laugh if I wasn't feeling so terrrible! At least an 18 month old wont remember that happened - my ds may look back at this as being a defining moment in his life, where his mum let him down and he was frightened forever.

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER Sat 26-Oct-13 23:59:04

What was he doing on your laptop? If he was just 'fiddling' then yes, you should have been supervising him more closely but if he was playing a game or whatever he needs to take responsibility for clicking on something else that you hadn't 'checked' for him.

Even if it was him fiddling and you not watching him closely enough, it doesn't make you a shit mother, it makes you rather normal and human - really, stop stressing about it. Consider it a lesson he has learnt - if you use laptops you will see things that you might not like.

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER Sun 27-Oct-13 00:01:46

my ds may look back at this as being a defining moment in his life, where his mum let him down and he was frightened forever

Seriously and with love... get a grip. Your DH is right, you are massively over reacting. I hope you haven't kept mentioning to him - they're like horses - they smell weakness! << a good way of getting attention etc

CrockedPot Sun 27-Oct-13 00:19:27

Chipping, thank you - seriously. I do need to get a grip. I am afraid I did mention it once, and I know,I know, you are right when you say not too, and why. I am normally very level headed and sensible, but this has really thrown me. I think it's because I usually have such a grip on things and am usually sensible that I am beating myself up for fucking up. I won't mention it again and will stop dwelling on it. (He is fast asleep, by the way, I am the one wide eyed and worrying!)

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER Sun 27-Oct-13 01:01:32

If it's the worst thing you have done in 6 years - consider yourself a model parent grin

Now brew and get to bed!

gussiegrips Sun 27-Oct-13 01:42:02

Crocked - you can't have a grip on things all the time. You can only do your best.

And, sadly, my best is limited to carrying babywipes incase they manage to locate a nice big animal poo. Anything else is a bonus.

eden263 Sun 27-Oct-13 01:49:25

We all have our 'I'm a shit mother' moments. We're only human, and hindsight is a great thing for giving us a stick to beat ourselves with. The fact that you're so upset proves just what a caring mum you are. Life does throw nasty stuff at us sometimes, but he'll get through this, and so will you.

Like Chipping said, there are far worse 'bad parent' things!

filey1 Sun 27-Oct-13 01:35:47

If you are posting here you are clearly not a shit mother, you are a mother who cares. X

CrockedPot Sun 27-Oct-13 14:45:08

Just wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you who came to my aid last night. I was so upset, it had become an issue for me and I was beating myself up so badly. You all helped me get a little perspective.
Update on the 'emotionally scarred for life' ds - (drama queen, anyone? angry) he hasn't even mentioned it today, and appears to be very, very unaffected by it! But it was very real for me, and you were all a huge help with your comments and support. A wholehearted thanks.

DollyShouldHaveDumpedStiva Sun 27-Oct-13 20:40:29

Ah, glad to hear it.

mawbroon Sun 27-Oct-13 23:00:13

Similar happened to me when ds1 was around that age. We had been watching YouTube vidoes of orcas together (he's obsessed with them!!) when somebody came to the door.

In the moments that I was away at the door, the orca only bloody well attacked the woman in the water and bit her leg really badly. Had I been there beside him, I could have switched it off at the first whiff of something nasty.

DS1 was upset by it but he got over it. We talked about it, and I used it as an example of why he is not allowed to surf the web willy nilly which he totally accepts.

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER Mon 28-Oct-13 01:04:00

I'm glad you are feeling OK about it today smile

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