Recently myself and my partner relocated to the South of England from the North in July so he can finish his degree at university and so I can try and make a career for myself (there's not much opportunity in the creative industry in terms of the North).
I started a new job in retail which I don't particularly like and got a promotion to just under a supervisor within 2 months, I've been under a lot of stress with moving, getting a job and barely knowing anyone.
Due to the stress of working 37 hours (which would usually only be 21 but a keyholder left and i'm their only other keyholder) a week and suffering from high anxiety I forgot to take my pill after my week break and now i'm pregnant.
I think i'm around 6 weeks pregnant, I have told only three people including my partner who has had a mixed reaction. We were certain we were going to have a termination but as soon as I found out I walked around town trying to price things up to see if any of this would be doable if I were to have this child. I certainly do not have a lot of money and have been trundling through freecycle.org and gumtree in hopes of finding baby things (they are there). I have been having second thoughts.
My partner has not been the easiest to talk to, he has told me since finding out that 'we are not having it'. Rather than asking me what I want. He has also spent pretty much every night out making uni friends. As it is freshers week.
I really needed him there as I don't know anyone really.. I have spent my nights crying myself to sleep only to be woken up at 4am when he comes back from his night out and then tells me that he loves this baby so much? He likes to sleep with his hand over my stomach even though he is telling me he wants the complete opposite!?
I am completely in two minds about this baby, I scheduled an abortion with BPAS for Monday which I now need to change because my manager changed my day off without asking me to do something she needed to do..
I genuinely do not know what to do.
My mother had me at 21 without the support of my father who is nothing but a disappointment to me, but she never really made a life for herself or a career which is really holding me back as I want a career BUT I also want a family. I always imagined having a family when I was married, and although I have been with my partner for 1 1/2 years we are not looking to get married soon.
I do not know what I am doing, my partner told me over a message last night that he was thinking we should have the baby. We are not financially stable at all, he is at uni - he has a loan, and works about 20 hours in retail to support us and the baby wouldn't be due till around June which would be after his exams?
I have no idea what support I would have from the government? I don't know how housing benefits work? I have tried looking online but it just makes no sense to me as its such a specific circumstance. We are currently in a studio flat which we pay a whopping £625 a month for, there is no room for a baby in here and our lease expires in 3 months time.
Does anybody have any advice for me?
Any twenty something mothers have the same financial issues as me and understand the system?
I just don't know if I can have an abortion but I don't know how i'd support this baby! Let alone childcare, would I work? Would I have to stay at home?
I'm literally a mess.
Please help if you can, any advice is appreciated.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.
Parenting
Pregnant at 21 and don't know what to do - Please help.
39 replies
songbird92 · 13/10/2013 17:04
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.