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Do you love your children more than your husband

(83 Posts)
mommytobe234 Wed 02-Oct-13 11:34:25

As husband could leave anyday (they come and go, obviously )
Do you feel more love for your child ?

OP’s posts: |
thestringcheesemassacre Wed 02-Oct-13 11:35:31

No. I love them equally.

SilverApples Wed 02-Oct-13 11:36:39

Yes, TBH. grin

saythatagain Wed 02-Oct-13 11:37:35

I love them both but I would lay me life down for my child in a heartbeat and, hand on heart, I couldn't say I would do that for DH.

saythatagain Wed 02-Oct-13 11:37:55


MoominsYonisAreScary Wed 02-Oct-13 11:40:53

Yes I do

RevelsRoulette Wed 02-Oct-13 11:40:54

I can't compare because they are two totally different emotions.

There really should be different words for them because romantic love and maternal love are nothing like each other.

If we're talking about priorities, then the kids come first in all the burning building/car crash/out to sea scenarios simply because they are more vulnerable and because you have (or should have!) a maternal instinct to protect your young.

RevelsRoulette Wed 02-Oct-13 11:42:22

oh, and I love my children unconditionally. There is nothing that I can imagine that they could do that could make me stop loving them (although I can think of things that would make me hate what they had done/not like them) whereas there is lots of stuff my husband could do that could kill my love for him stone dead.

BunnyLebowski Wed 02-Oct-13 11:43:03

Yes I do.

I'm very hmm about anyone who says otherwise tbh.

There was a loony woman in the fail last year proclaiming how much more she loved her darling hubby than her kids. Nutter.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Wed 02-Oct-13 11:43:14

Without a doubt, I could happily leave my dh if Gerard Butler was to come and whisk me away, I'd have to think twice if he asked me to leave my kids too grin

HumphreyCobbler Wed 02-Oct-13 11:43:21

It really is not something I can compare.

I love my husband.

I love my children. I can't rate it.

I suppose I feel more protective about my children as DH is an adult, but this does not equate to more or less love.

HearMyRoar Wed 02-Oct-13 11:49:39

Sorry, but this is one of those questions that really annoys me. It's comparing two completely different things and then turning it into some sort of competition.

I love them both, like mad, in very different ways.

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Wed 02-Oct-13 11:50:15


I mean, he's alright and that. I did decide to have two kids with him and promise to spend the rest of my life with him after all. But if he tried to suck on my tits for 6 hours a day like DD I think it might be a deal breaker

bridgetsmum Wed 02-Oct-13 11:51:18

I exactly agree with Hearmyroar

It's not the same thing, you can't compare the love you feel for your spouse and your children.

SilverApples Wed 02-Oct-13 11:51:25

I love my OH, but not unconditionally and beyond reason.
My children are adult now. smile

Vakant Wed 02-Oct-13 11:51:33

They are different types of love, so difficult to quantify, but if I had to say who I loved more then hands down it would be my children. I would die for them, kill for them, and ultimately choose them over my husband in a life or death situation. He feels the same, and I would be hugely gutted with him if he didn't. When our eldest was a newborn we had a conversation about who we would save in a house fire if it came down to a straight choice, and we both chose the baby. Obviously part of the reason for choosing her was her inability to get herself out safely, but actually even if she was an adult at the time of hypothetical house fire, we would both still choose her. It's biological impulse isn't it?

steppemum Wed 02-Oct-13 11:55:32

agree with revels, 2 different emotions, but more importantly needs are different.

As a mother we need to protect and defend and have unconditional love.

I fully expect to stay with dh til I die, and love him with all my heart but if he did certain things, then the relationship would be over.
(eg murder/rape/abuse)

Whatever my kids did, I would never stop loving them, even if my heart was broken by them.

Laylamom12 Wed 02-Oct-13 12:02:07

I love my kids. Oh gosh I would die for them. I would jump in front of a train for them. I would give my life for them. You see, they are precious to me. I love them dearly. BUT I love their daddy more. Their daddy is the most important person in this world to me. He’s my partner. We’re a team. He’s my best friend. He’s my lover. He’s here for me and me for him.
So many times parents forget their first love when kids come along. They neglect each other. They dive in to the lives of their kids and before you know it they are just two adults that live in this house together and think each other are really nice, but their just juggling kids and whatever the kids may want or need.
My kids know about date night. They know that mommy and daddy go on dates because they love each other. I pray that this will have a huge impact on my kids. In fact I have already seen it making my boys into better husbands and they are only 7, 6 & 5!!! The other day I was talking to Cayden about when he grows up how he can live right next door to me. I joke with them all the time about that. How I don’t want them to grow up, or leave me, so they always say that they’ll live next door or at least on the same street. Cayden told me that he would live next door so that I could watch his kids when he went on date nights with his wife. You see, he’s watching his daddy love his momma well.

spicynaknik Wed 02-Oct-13 12:03:40

It's different, but essentially yes.

I can't understand women who say they love their DH more or put their DH first because children leave one day but DH is forever, or whatever they say.

My own mother is one of those. She is dependent on her DH for her self of well being and worth. They have a bit of a codependent relationship. She made it clear she would choose him over her kids when the chips went down and I never want my kids to feel like I did.

I love DH dearly and hope we spend our last days pootling about together in slippers, but he's an independent adult who I choose to be with, not someone who is totally dependent on me for pretty much everything who I need to help nurture into the world and support unfailingly, providing a blueprint for a happy life.

I don't feel that I am dependent on his love, nor the kids love. As it should be, I think.

MrsPeeWee Wed 02-Oct-13 12:04:47

Yes. I love DS unconditionally and far beyond words could ever explain. I am just in love with DH, and 10 years down the line, we could fall out of love? (hopefully not) but I know I will never ever stop loving DS as much as I do.

SummerRain Wed 02-Oct-13 12:04:48

Yes, without a doubt.

DP is my partner but I can't guarantee he'll be in my life forever and he's not related to me.

My children will always be a part of me and I would lay down my life for them.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Wed 02-Oct-13 12:05:54

Yes. I love my DH, but if our lives were in danger, I'd give mine up for my children. DH would have to look after himself!!

caramelwaffle Wed 02-Oct-13 12:06:46

I agree with HearMyRoar

OVOntToSuckYourBlood Wed 02-Oct-13 12:06:54


TombOfMummyBeerest Wed 02-Oct-13 12:07:30

I actually think this is a valid question, as in some situations it's put to the test. My mum kept going back to my dad for years, to the detriment of her children, because she loved him so much.

Having said that, I know I love them both equally. But that's probably not the case for everyone.

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