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Does your partner help with the baby?

(30 Posts)
GiveMeVegemite Sun 15-Sep-13 08:44:32

Hi, just want to see how this works in other houses....

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant and have a 15 month old. My 15 month old isn't a great sleeper, teething at the moment so up a couple of times during the night and then up for the day around 6am.

My DH works from home 3 days a week, in the office 2 days. He is always busy during the day and I know he works hard, but I do EVERYTHING for our 15 month old, even though I am heavily pregnant.

He doesn't get up with him, doesn't change nappies, give milk, etc. he will help me with bath time at night about once a week and that's it. I am almost dreading how I will cope with a newborn as well.

He says 'you can't expect me to get up with him when I have to work'. Like he thinks I sit on my heavily pregnant ass all day with a 15 month old!

What is it like at your house?

PinkSippyCup Tue 17-Sep-13 11:06:19

DH works long hours Monday to Friday and I've just gone back to work part-time.

Depending on when he needs to leave/ when DD wakes up he will get up with her before work and they have breakfast together while I sleep.

He's not always home before she's in bed, but when he is he plays with DD and gives her her bath while I make dinner or vice versa. We then read her a story together.

DD is breastfed but I'll feed DD and then DH will take over a few nights a week so I can have a break.

Night time is mainly me (breastfeeding) but DH gets up with her too and settles her back to sleep.

Weekends are 50/50.

Honestly OP if my DH was like yours I wouldn't be planning to have any more children with him! You make his lunch?! I'd be knocking that on the head straight away!

rosiedays Tue 17-Sep-13 11:08:13

My dh does very little with baby will have cuddles etc but no nappies or getting up at night . If she cries she's mine. Much poo pooed on here but dh sees babies as women's work and I'm fine with that. It was good enough for many generation before and is still the way in many countries

If your dh has not been hands on so far you're acceptedthat as a norm. Although being pg does change the ballance.
I'd make a new set of house rules for when baby comes lay out your expectations and come to an agreement

I also think most men who are not hands on lack confidence ( you probably make it all look easy! )

putting flame proof coat on

rosiedays Tue 17-Sep-13 11:14:09

Oh i also make him fresh coffee every morning, lunch if he pops home , take care of house and most of cooking
The list of things he does is equally long just different

YBR Tue 17-Sep-13 20:32:21

My DH is a SAHD, and much better at it than I would be. In the first week or so with DD he lacked confidence, seeming to think I knew stuff he didn't. It was more to do with me being left in the Maternity ward after he was turfed out and having to figure it out. I didn't let it last long!
Now it's me who lacks skill and confidence with how to cope with her (now 21 months), and I don't do as much with her as I probably should. Unfortunately she'd rather have her Daddy most of the time anyway.

Sindarella Tue 17-Sep-13 20:37:18

Nope. He doesnt help or do his share. Nor do he work. I have 3ds he has never bathed any of them, it wouldnt enter his head to. Nor has he dressed any of them, neither would he imagine taking one out with him anywhere, i on the other hand have to ask if its ok to pop out and leave them/one.

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