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Siblings without rivalry - can anyone summarise?

(7 Posts)
XBenedict Tue 10-Sep-13 18:10:38

I've heard it's a great book but I don't have it and I wondered if anyone could pick out the main points? DCs are driving me mad with their bickering!

greenbananas Tue 10-Sep-13 19:07:46

The main point I took from it was to never, ever compare them to each other. Also to make sure each one knows they are valuable (e.g.not dropping everything whenever the baby squeaks).

Just about to read it again though. It's a great book.

jamaisjedors Tue 10-Sep-13 19:14:15

You need to read it.

If it were that easy, there would be no need for the book! Sorry!

BadSeedsAddict Tue 10-Sep-13 19:38:35

Really worth reading, as is How To Talk So Children Will Listen. Amazing books.

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 10-Sep-13 20:02:53

It's really worth it - it's probably about £2 on amazon with postage.

I can't remember much of it as I read it yonks ago and only have one DC so haven't been able to put any of it into practice but I have a sister and remember reading all of it and nodding along enthusiastically!

jesska Tue 10-Sep-13 22:35:42

I have read that book and also How to Talk... many times and they are both terrific and do help (not that you would know from my performance lately.. Must read them again!).

But here are some highlights to add on what others have said:

- don't solve every quarrel. "I see two boys with a big box of blocks but both of them need triangles At the same time. That's tricky, but I am sure you can figure out a way share them" (then leave the room)

- don't put your kids in roles. "Oh Johnny, why can't you be more tidy like your sister?"

- do tell them you love them individually, not "all the same". "What would I do without my Daisy, who draws fantastic rainbows and always helps me push the trolley at the shop?"

- don't go overboard in telling off the aggressor. Instead, tend to the sibling who has been bashed/insulted etc. " oh no Johnny, that looks like it really hurts. Let me get some ice. Your brother needs to remember to use his words not his fists when he gets angry." (ie the aggressor won't be rewarded with attention even if its negative attention)

That's all I can remember but those are some of the best tips. Clearly I have read this book many times!

Good luck (heading to dig out my copy again...)

lagoonhaze Wed 11-Sep-13 21:45:10

I have a PDF if you want to pm me.

I think it was from parent book summaries a US site

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