Hi everyone
I would like to ask for opinion and advice on an issue that has been going on for a while. My husband and I divorced when our daughter was three, and ever since then she's slept in his bed when she's with him. This occurs to a lesser extent now, not only because he's older but also because he has a new partner and son who live with them. However, it's still happening enough, for example, this week in the middle of the night she woke him up and got into bed with him and from what my daughter says my husband's partner got up and slept elsewhere.
I'm not for one minute suspecting or suggesting that there's anything untoward going on but my daughter is very clingy, attention seeks and we have particular problems around bedtime. I have asked my ex husband for help repeatedly in this area but he says that he's doing things gradually and in a way that is right for our daughter.
The reality is that our daughter can be a little madam and I believe that we both need to be a bit tougher especially on the basics of going to bed and staying in her own bed - at eight I feel that she should be doing that consistently. Her confidence is another issue - trying to encourage her to push through the fear boundary to do something new is exhausting and she frequently feels anxious about things. I think a lot of this is to do with the fact that she's not being encouraged to be independent. I work really hard on trying to get her to focus on the outcome - i.e. imagine yourself coming out of school and running up to me and telling me what a fun day you've had, and it works, and then it all seems to come undone again when she's been to her dad.
I am really struggling because I am finding it increasingly hard to keep my patience when she loses it over doing something new or fights me about going to bed and I just really feel a lack of support from my ex.
He's quite indignant about it and really doesn't want to have to engage with me at all and I'm sure that his behaviour towards our daughter is about him rather than her, if that makes sense.
Does anyone have any thoughts or advice about an eight year old girl sleeping in her father's bed in terms? Am I right to think this could be affecting her confidence building? How do I tackle it - or do I need to tackle it? Any thoughts, gratefully received.
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Eight year old still sleeps in her dad's bed
13 replies
bringingupthebaby · 06/09/2013 10:16
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TVTonight ·
06/09/2013 12:07
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TVTonight ·
06/09/2013 12:08
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