Different with second baby?(16 Posts)
I'm due baby number 2 in a few days and wondered what people found different about the first few weeks with their second baby as opposed to the first?
Hopefully goes without saying that I'm not looking for loads of horror stories at this point.
Congratulations on your imminent arrival.
With my DC2 I found I had generally less time to spend focusing/worrying about every detail of the newborn as DC1 tended to take centre stage (well did in our house). Also found less interest/cooing from close family for second. I think people expect you to just get on with it a lot more with No.2 as you are "experienced".
It was lovely to see DC1 grow close to DC2 though, and see DC1 mimic baby stuff with her dolls - best bit was when her doll was shoved up her jumper for a feed while she sat with an odd expression on her face gazing into thin air.
I found baby nap times more stressful (but I am very stressy over baby sleep generally) and would be on edge that DC1 would wake DC2 up and then DC2 would be hugely grumpy.
I'm sure it will be lovely, hard work at times, but lovely to see your family growing and bonding. My two adore each other now so any of the hard stuff was more than worth it.
First few weeks were different. I couldn't live in the twiggy zone where I got dressed at 2pm, as had a toddler in tow! I was forever wondering what on earth I did all day with PFB as didn't have many issues getting out of the house etc with dd!
Far more relaxed than with our first. Have definitely gone with the flow this time. Suspect 3 years of not brilliant sleep has also helped as not feeling half as wrecked as I did with dc1.
Not sure if it's because I'm more relaxed that I've got a more easy going baby this time round or whether he would have been as relaxed if he wad our first. Suspect it's a bit of both.
Either way enjoying it far more this time and with dc2 nearly 5 months old, time has flown by this time round. I think I've realised that however crap certain stages are, things really can and do suddenly change. Good luck for your imminent arrival!
Exactly what knickyknocks said - lots more relaxed and more fun, but going much more quickly!
My second is nearly 2 months. Found it easier I think - was more confident making up the bottles, etc. and knew the difference between a tired cry and a hungry cry. Lovely to see how excited my toddler was about the new addition to the household.
Be prepared for a lack of interest from people!! Was very surprised by how even close family members were slow to visit and give cards, etc. - it seems this is very common with baby number 2.
I found my second much hard to be honest (don't hate me!) but I think everyone kind of expects you to know what you're doing second time round and I was just clueless as to how to make it all work and 'fit' into our existing family and DS1's routine. I also felt torn between them both and the guilt for not spending time with DC1 or not giving DC2 the attention you gave first one was crippling) .
I agree with the poster who mentioned nap times being more stressful. This was the main time when I would feel stressed out. DS2 would be so over tired and screamy but DS1 always found a way of dropping a toy or shouting just as DS2 was dozing off to sleep . Not positng this to scare you be I don't want you to feel like some huge failure if it doesn't seem to just click into place the way people told me it would! I found that whilst I'd had a baby before, I'd never had THIS baby before so all other experience and knowledge was rendered useless! Good luck. It did all settle down and fall into place eventually . You'll survive. x
hi whyno i didnt worry as much just took it all in my stride
Thanks so much, feeling quite excited! I don't hate you BubbleBoy! I've just found that people are falling over themselves telling me how hard it's going to be so its been nice to hear some positives for once.
The actual baby stuff was so much easier second time round. You already know how to feed, change nappies, rock to sleep. None of the fear and worry with the second one, besides DC1 is still the centre of attention and by the time you've sorted them out the baby has forgotten what he was crying for and gone to sleep.
The domestic drudgery is hard though.
Much easier second time round. No sterilising things to surgical ward standards, no sitting in the back of the car with the baby just in case (or was that just me?), non faffing around trying to work out which way round a nappy goes. I feel bad DS2 missed out on as much attention, but he's more independent as a result.
One thing I did find was that dd2 took to breastfeeding like a duck to water. I hated it with dd1 and we didn't get on very well but dd2 was easy to feed.
They're still like chalk and cheese now.
Only 2 months in but I have found it easier.
I think as I have already got over the shock of 'the end of life as we knew it' the first time, so I am able to enjoy it more.
My DC1 is 5 so I am benefitting from the gap as he is at school/can help fetch things for me.
For us DD will be our last, so I think that is helping me to enjoy it/stay positive.
Good luck with the birth.
The first few weeks are relatively easy. I stuck baby in a sling and off we went.
However once past that first few weeks it got very tough eg nap times as a PP said, the emotional pull between two DCs especially if the eldest was trying to hit the baby (thankfully rare) and the lack of sleep. But your OP only asked about the first few weeks - didn't want to scare you
Take as much help as you can get! Getting someone to take the youngest for a bit while you spend time with your first is invaluable.
Also your eldest will seem so much older but do remember, they're still young and it's a big change for them. Sibling rivalry can last forever so don't expect them to be "used" to baby after a few months.
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