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Gutted for dd - birthday party tomorrow

(24 Posts)
birthbearboo Fri 19-Jul-13 21:14:35

I could cry right now.

My daughter turns 4 tomorrow. Sh is having a party at home. Invites went out - 12 children invited. 2 come back as not available straight away. Everyone else confirmed attendance about 10 days ago.

On Wednesday 4 suddenly can't make it anymore. These 4 are family members (cousins etc) who to be fair do have a bit of a trek over her (1.5hr drive each way) so I do understand. Wish they hadn't left it so late to decide, but anyway. I'm disappointed. DD is disappointed. But I get it. It's ok.

This morning I get some texts. 2 more children can't come. Ok. 4 guests. That's ok. That's still 5 kids. That's fine for a 4 yr old.

Just now I have recived a facebook message (of all things!!) from my friend to say her 2 daughters (my son's absolute best buddies) have been naughty going to bed and so as punishment they are no longer coming to the party!

sad I am so upset for DD. And pissed off with friend. Maybe wrongly. But this punishment is shit IMO. My daughter will wake up all excited only for me to have to tell her even more people aren't coming.

What shall I do??? Is it too late to knock on neighbours doors and beg their kids to come?? Is that poor form? Just feeling crap about it.

Carolra Fri 19-Jul-13 21:17:42

Where do you live? We'll come wink

It does sound crap for your dd, it's so hard to plan these things. Definitely ask the neighbours if you like them, we always get same day invites to our next door neighbours kid's parties. We usually go as well.

Hope it works out for your dd, I'm sure you'll manage to make it a special day for her.

NonnoMum Fri 19-Jul-13 21:17:47

Yes - knock on neighbour's doors - apparently my mum did this for me (at about the same age) when we had just moved house. Mum says everyone had a great time!

Also, can you messsage/call friend to see that she could revise her punishment i.e boys were naughty to bed but you shouldn't punish the birthday girl because of this?? i.e if they get up nicely and say sorry to her you'd still love to see them??

LegoAcupuncture Fri 19-Jul-13 21:18:28

Oh how sad for your DD.

How many children are coming?

Not sure about inviting neighbours at last minute, I'd probably do it but state no present necessary, just come to party.

When ds2 turned 4, I invited 25+ to a party, booked a soft play etc, and only two turned up. It was gut wrenching.

imademarion Fri 19-Jul-13 21:18:42

Aw I feel for you. And what a short sighted punishment not to let them come. Now your daughter gets punished too.

Can you speak to the mum and ask if she can relent it negotiate?

Missing a party over high spirits is a bit fierce.

Otherwise can you maybe do a spontaneous trip to a nearby attracti

imademarion Fri 19-Jul-13 21:18:57


imademarion Fri 19-Jul-13 21:20:19

Attraction (sorry kindle virgin) and have a party when more people can come?

Really hope it works out!

birthbearboo Fri 19-Jul-13 22:25:58

Thanks for responding. I have bagged one of the neighbours! Hooray. There will be 4 children now, including DD.

I will try the other neighbours in the morning. Thanks for encouraging me to ask them. I feel a bit better. I'm just thankful it's her 4th, not 5th, as I don't think it matters quite as much yet. Though it still matters!

Lego- that's so sad! 25 invitees and 2 come! It really is heart wrenching.

QuintessentialOldDear Fri 19-Jul-13 22:28:18

Facebook her back and ask her why she is punishing your dd?

pictish Fri 19-Jul-13 22:31:22

Awww I totally feel for you!

It's the weather OP. It's so unusually good atm. We had a party the other day, and honestly the last thing I wanted to do was spend 2 hours at a kiddy party. I did go - because I wouldn't not...but it was tempting, very tempting to sack it off.

However that is of no comfort to you right now, and your wee girl. I'd feel just as you do.
Bastards the lot of them!

pictish Fri 19-Jul-13 22:32:56

Does your friend know that so many have pulled out??

HumphreyCobbler Fri 19-Jul-13 22:33:07

Your friend really really should not be punishing your dd for things her children did. Your poor dd.

Good luck with recruiting more guests, I am sure your DD will have a great time.

LegoAcupuncture Fri 19-Jul-13 22:35:36

Yes, it was awful. He was in two nurseries, one ASD based and one mainstream. He had an excellent time though, none the wiser.

Hope your dd has a lovely time tomorrow, happy birthday to her.

toolatetobed Sat 20-Jul-13 00:15:56

A classic example of why it is not a good idea to use party non-attendance as a punishment! But to be fair OP, your friend may have decided to do this on the spur of the moment when at the end of her tether with trying to get the kids to bed in an overly warm house. I would say phone (not FB) your friend in the morning, explain the situation (in a non-accusatory way) and ask her to reconsider. But don't lose a friendship over it if she's adamant her kids aren't coming.

Re the two original guests who are coming, do they have brothers or sisters who could also be invited?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 20-Jul-13 07:51:28

I hope DD has a fab time OP...I agree....non attendance of a party for punishment is just ridiculous! It's bad the invitation is accepted you go!

NickyNackyNooNoo Sat 20-Jul-13 07:59:05

I bet you have a fab party & your DD will get to make new friends, rubbish situation turns into a positive.

I personally would assess your own 'friends' maybe you need some new ones too smile

SuperiorCat Sat 20-Jul-13 08:33:49

Hope your friend relents and your dd has a lovely party

birthbearboo Sat 20-Jul-13 17:57:23

Just wanted to update. . We had such a great party! The neighbours are fab! We have only ever had a quick chat over the garden fence so ot was lovely having the chance to actually engage in a real conversion
We have invited them round for a drink next week too so yes. Definitely a good result of a bad situation! DD had a lovely time. On some ways it was nicer having just a few children as they got to play in the garden which is too small for any more children. Phew! I'm so pleased with how it turned out. Thanks for the kind words.

changechangechange Sat 20-Jul-13 18:12:03

Ah, I'm so glad it was a happy ending. Happy birthday to your dd. smile

MinimalistMommi Sat 20-Jul-13 18:24:36

I'm so glad this turned out Ok for you OP.

Growlithe Sat 20-Jul-13 18:40:56

That's great. You all got some new friends. grin

HumphreyCobbler Sat 20-Jul-13 19:00:22

very pleased to hear it smile

BigDomsWife Sat 20-Jul-13 21:34:44

Im so pleased that the party was a success in the end. Great to hear that is all worked out well. Happy birthday to your DD xx

SuperiorCat Sun 21-Jul-13 13:41:16


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