Advice on when/how to tell first child about new baby?

[doingitagain14]

Hi,

I have a daughter who is approaching her 3rd birthday in a couple of months and I'm 12 weeks pregnant with number 2. So far we have not spoken to DD about it as we are conscious that the baby's arrival is still a long way off for a toddler to comprehend. However I am concerned that once my pregnancy becomes common knowledge among family and friends, that people may get careless about what is said in front of her and she may cotton on to things which is not the way I want her to find out - I want her to hear it from us so I can explain it in a way I think she can understand and accept most easily.

However I'm not sure when the best time is to do this. Does anyone have any experience of telling children about this age about a new baby on the way? What would you recommend?

Thanks for any advice!

[TooTabooToBoo]

Congratulations.

My DD was 8 and I had to tell her pretty much straight away as I was ill with morning/noon/night sickness. Not sure about one as young as 3.

So this is a bump to the top of Active convos

[YoniBottsBumgina]

I don't have experience but I would say start getting some books about new babies and talking about the possibility of a baby brother or sister. Then by the time you have a "bump" or the baby starts kicking she will at least be familiar with the idea.

My feeling it's best for them to have something concrete to be able to look at/talk about/experience rather than saying that it will happen at some point in the future and it all being very abstract.

Have you had a dating scan yet? You could show her the pictures (or take her along) so that she can see the baby and then explain that the baby is very small at the moment (perhaps look at one of those pregnancy books which compares it to an orange/kiwi fruit/grape etc) and that it will live inside your tummy for a long time before it is big enough to come out and live in the world with her and be her brother or sister.

Also I have heard it is a good thing to explain that the baby will be quite boring at first and probably cry a lot and not be able to do fun things like playing, eating, talking etc because if you big up "A new sister to play with!" angle and then they are faced with this small animal sort of thing they are rather disappointed by it!

[ShoeWhore]

We took Ds to the 20 week scan and told him just before - he could talk to my bump and feel baby kicking by then as well - it was still quite a long time for him to wait but he loved seeing his brother 'on TV'!

[doingitagain14]

Thanks for the replies. I have my first scan today so was never planning on telling her at least until after we'd had that. She's off to her gran's for the afternoon while we are at the hospital. After today though we are planning on 'going public' and am just wary that she overhears the b-a-b-y word! But still feel 6 months is a long time for her to wait! Might just see how it goes, do some general talking about brothers and sisters etc in the meantime.

[YoniBottsBumgina]

6 months is a long time but if she has something like the picture to look at, and she can see your bump growing, feel the baby kick etc, then it will still seem real to her and you can explain that the baby has to live inside you for a long time.
Good luck with your scan! :)