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Just dropped DS off at his Reception Induction day and I'm worrying. How can I help him become more assertive?

(8 Posts)
IHeartKingThistle Wed 03-Jul-13 10:09:07

He will be 4 near the end of August and will be full-time in Reception before the end of September. I think he'll deal with it fine, he's already in the school nursery and his confidence has come on loads (he was quite a shy toddler). He is happy and has friends who are moving up with him.

But he just never ever stands up for himself - there's just no assertiveness there at all. He will let a child hit him and not tell the teacher - he will let another child take a toy away from him. Last week a little boy who was quite a lot smaller than him was trying to take his watch off his wrist and he was just standing there letting him do it! He is very non-aggressive and doesn't hit back, which is a good thing, but I'd like him to stand up for himself a bit so that he doesn't become an easy target.

At this point he hasn't encountered enough of this sort of thing for it to be a problem, and he isn't old enough to understand it on a level where it would affect his self-esteem, but looking at his class this morning there are some boys who are much older, bigger and more confident than he is and it's got me worrying. I've told him over and over again that if someone hits him or is nasty to say NO and if it carries on to tell the teacher, but I know he doesn't do it.

Is there any way I can help him become more assertive before September? Would role-playing at home help maybe? I'm not assuming any of the other children will be a problem, but if they are I'd like him to have the skills to deal with it.

Or am I worrying over nothing?

TIA smile

IHeartKingThistle Wed 03-Jul-13 10:15:08

Oh and he went in fine this morning - he's not concerned at all!

Sparklysilversequins Wed 03-Jul-13 10:21:25

I think you'll find that he will adjust quite quickly. My dd was like this and it used to break my heart. I was there once helping out when a child shoved her really hard right in front of me. She just stood there looking scared so I gave the other kid The Mum Look and told her not to push. I worried about it, talked to her teacher etc and then about two months later helped out on a school trip only to find dd argy bargying with the best of them. She's pretty loud now too, the only thing she can't cope with is the girly meaness that is becoming more prevalent as she gets older sad.

IHeartKingThistle Wed 03-Jul-13 10:29:43

That's really reassuring sparkly, thanks. I hope DS figures it out for himself too!

That mean girly stuff sucks.

IHeartKingThistle Wed 03-Jul-13 12:15:00

Well he's back and had a great time - he says he didn't play with anyone though hmm.

cory Fri 05-Jul-13 09:50:23

Assertiveness may not be as necessary as we sometimes think. School is not the free for all that toddler groups can become: it will be more much about training the other children not to snatch than about training the gentle ones not to be snatched from.

I was worried about my sweet gentle ds but apart from one hiccup with a boastful friend in the early years, he has been fine socially. The other children liked him for his gentleness and looked out for him.

tumbletumble Fri 05-Jul-13 09:55:13

I agree - my DS1 was a shy gentle boy and I worried about him socially when he was 3 or 4. He's now 7, still quite a sensitive chap but (apart from a couple of very minor incidents) he is happy at school and has several friends.

IHeartKingThistle Fri 05-Jul-13 14:50:43

oh that's so good to hear!

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