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At this moment, I hate being a sahm!

(30 Posts)
alicemama Thu 01-Jun-06 10:59:02

Normally very happy to be a sahm but right now I could SCREAMMMMMM!
Sick of constant whining from dd1, constant crying off dd2 unless she's picked up, constant housework, washing, picking up toys, picking up after dh and it never seems to make any difference, all seems as if its for nothing

and when I do manage to get he house looking somewhere near normality nobody n otices anyway or tries to keep it tidy...why do I bother

rubles Thu 01-Jun-06 11:02:38

hmm sounds very familiar - but then I went back to work! It's the fact that noone notices and it all gets taken for granted that gets me.

SOULGIRL Thu 01-Jun-06 11:17:37

Im a SAHM and I know EXACTLY how you feel. Its a 24/7 job with very little sense of achievement, you spend ages tidying up and once you finish you go back to room 1 and the kids have destroyed it again. Every time I hoover they get crumbs on the carpet within minutes and god help me if I ACTUALLY clean it (lets just say it usually involves yougurt or vomit)

Hubby ALWAYS says "this place is a S**t hole when its untidy, but I wait & wait on the rare occasions when its sparkling & beatiful and NOTHING!!!! Cue Mummy having childish tantrum!!!

NotAnOtter Thu 01-Jun-06 11:18:27

feeling that way here today [hugs]

lunarx Thu 01-Jun-06 11:18:58

i am having one of those days. yesterday and today. ds, 23 months, is driving me MAD. he is a whinging monkey today and yesterday and i am hormonal (mid-cycle) so its a bad mix!

its not for nothing! i have to tell myself that. even if just YOU can enjoy a tidied up space for a short amount of time. it is worth it this is why i tidy up the living room when ds has his morning nap.

i hope your day improves!!!!!!!!!

alicemama Thu 01-Jun-06 11:21:05

to top it off the new puppy I've only had since sunday is pooing/weeing all over kitchen floor despite being taken outside countless times and has chewed a big hole in my trainers....

but he's so cute

sweetkitty Thu 01-Jun-06 11:40:58

I'm with you on this today!

I'm thinking well if they both go to sleep in the afternoon I'll get a quick shower and then hopefully get the bathrooms cleaned! This is what it has come to it's a good day if you get time to clean the sodding toilets!

Riddo Thu 01-Jun-06 12:09:19

I make a list of jobs and then tick them. I also write on anything I've just done and tick it - even just the washing up. Otherwise I get to the end of the day and feel as if I've done nothing (apart from break up rows between dd and ds)

SOULGIRL Thu 01-Jun-06 13:21:12

I realised how sad my life had become one day I was in a long queue in a shop and I was overjoyed when someone opened the next till!!

Iklboo Thu 01-Jun-06 13:25:46

Sounds v familiar too. Then I went back to work. DH is now sometime SAHD (when he's not got driving lessons). Does the washing/washing up/bed changing/hoovering/cleaning get done? Does it feck! I end up doing it when I get home so that poor DS has some clothes to wear and we have clean plates & cutlery to eat with!!

alicemama Thu 01-Jun-06 13:28:31

I would love to go back to work but unfortunately it's just not possible.
But would love to have something else in my life apart from housework and childcare

foxinsocks Thu 01-Jun-06 13:28:42

just sod the housework and go out

as you say, no-one notices. Only clean properly if you have guests coming and just make sure the house stays hygienic. Try and get the kids to help you tidy up and make sure most is tidy by bath time so once they are in bed, it's your time all to yourself

nogoes Thu 01-Jun-06 13:32:44

Lol soulgirl! I know exactly what you mean.

alicemama Thu 01-Jun-06 13:38:36

I do go out with the girls but even that's such hard work as dd1 is 3 (quite well behaved actually) dd2 is only 6 months and don't have my own car, altho borrow dh's sometimes.
But I get so depressed when I get back and walk thru the door and know that all that work is still there and now have even less time to do it

Might talk to dh tonight about helping out more...he does help me as well as working full time but its more about leaving clutter lying around and then moaning when he can't find anything.

madmarchhare Thu 01-Jun-06 13:38:45

am, when your DH is in it should be 50/50. You need to get out more in the daytime and tackle any left over jobs together in an evening or on a weekend. Your a stay at home mother, not a slave away for what good it does you dogsbody.

madmarchhare Thu 01-Jun-06 13:42:19

x posts there, but really, its not a case of him 'helping' you and try not to stress too much about what doesnt get done.

It is hard, i know, and when I first had DS I tried so hard to be this perfect wifey/mother/cleaner type, but it just wasnt me. I realised what was important and what was not. I decided that my sanity had to come first.

MagicGenie Thu 01-Jun-06 13:43:29

Alicemama, know exactly how you're feeling.

My mood has been lifted by a night out last night (very rare) and having my dad for a brief stay to help with some gardening. So nice to have some adult company during the day.

I've hidden Meg's Egg's recently - it was that book or my sanity!

alicemama Thu 01-Jun-06 13:46:31

I really enjoy gardening but haven't been able to do much. I go out to start and then dd2 will start crying....can't put her down for longer than 15 mins before she starts screaming...and I do mean SCREAMING1
Have a greenhouse full of plants and a veg patch to plant but getting no closer to getting it done

Xavielli Thu 01-Jun-06 13:48:39

I'm with you soulgirl...Was in Tesco's the other day and with an outstandingly loud "Oooooohhh!" I exclaimed that Cilit Bang was half price.... DP has not let me live it down!

Olihan Thu 01-Jun-06 13:49:36

OMG, this could be me. I love being a SAHM and couldn't imagine being at work but the sheer drudgery (sp?) and monotony and endlessness of it really grinds me down.
We went on a self catering holiday last week with ds (2.5) and dd (9months) and I hated every second of it. It was exactly the same as being at home but in a smaller house with less things to occupy the kids and paper thin walls. When I tried to explain to dh how I was feeling he got all huffy and offended that I didn't appreciate the effort he was making to help with the kids etc.
Yesterday morning I blitzed the lounge, playroom, ds's room and the loo. An hour later you couldn't have said I'd done anything. Drives me loopy.
DH does his bit to help (after I've had a major stress about doing everything) but he expects praise and acknowledgement for what he's done whereas it's all just part of my 'job'.
I swear I'm going to get a job over his summer holiday and we'll swap roles for a couple of weeks. THEN maybe he'll see what I do.

MagicGenie Thu 01-Jun-06 13:52:32

Could you put DD2 into a sling/Baby Bjorn or something? Probably a bit awkward, I know...just a suggestion.

Do you get any 'time off' at the weekends?

How about asking DH to be in charge for a whole day at the weekend so you can do your gardening/go out/whatever?

alicemama Thu 01-Jun-06 13:55:36

dh is very good a sdoes give me a day off when he can but as well as working full time he's also doing an it course from home and is already behind with that. He's doing it for the benefit of all the family, so that he can get a better job etc so I feel guilty about taking studying time away from him...I know I'm entitled to time to myself as well but life's not that simple is it.
Oh and dd2 hates her sling as well

MagicGenie Thu 01-Jun-06 14:18:32

I could come and help you....in the past have been very un-green fingered but am successfully growing rocket, radishes and herbs at the mo...from seed as well!

Sending you a hug, alicemama.

pegasus Thu 01-Jun-06 15:03:39

Aargh! My dh has been abroad on business for the last 2 1/2 weeks. I am worn out with 2 under 2s and a dog (-also under 2 ). On Monday we went drive to a friend's and the car had a flat tyre so we walked instead and then got it fixed by the RAC yesterday when my FIL was here to watch the boys in the house. Today we were going to the supermarket (-we have no food) and the spare is now flat as well. The RAC are due in the next 20 minutes but are suggesting towing to a tyre place which we can't do because there is only room for 2 of us in their vehicle! I have so had enough. ds1 hasn't had a nap and ds2 has but will be hungry again so I guess we will go shopping tomorrow assuming we somehow get the car fixed - rant.

ChaCha Fri 02-Jun-06 00:06:29

alicemama - you must drop into the Nov thread. Would be good to catch up.

LOL @ Cilitbang 'Oooohhh!' Yes, I've had days where I've been happy about cleaning products going on offer in Wilkinsons Wouldn't change it for the world

Alice - When you feel like that, get the kids ready and go out. This always helps me when I've had enough. I think I invent work when I stay home too long.

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