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Correct response to awkward phrases from 3yo?

(6 Posts)
vladthedisorganised Mon 10-Jun-13 15:39:54

DD can be dictatorial bossy, and while I applaud her confidence I also know I need to nip it in the bud before she drives me and everyone else mad.

I try to praise the good ('you asked very nicely then, that was really good') and meet the bossiness with a request to ask in a nicer way. She usually responds to this eventually.

Somehow, she's picked up the phrase "Do not speak to me like that!" which she's now using if I tell her to do something - like "it's time to get dressed/ leave the house/ put your shoes on/ tidy up now".
I can deal with a negotiation - "but I'm just playing with x"/ "Yes, you can play with x tomorrow but now it's time to tidy up" - but she will now say "Do not speak to me like that! It makes me very sad and it's not nice!" in response. Unfortunately, the very words I want to use in reply are exactly the same.

I have to admit that I'm a bit stumped. "It's not nice to shout at people either," is the best I've come up with, but I can't help thinking there's a better approach. Sadly she has a memory like an elephant for things like this so I don't want to use anything that might come back at me later ("stop being a little madam and behave yourself" sort of thing)

God, 2 was so much easier..

Theas18 Mon 10-Jun-13 15:44:35

Broken record " I'm sorry my ears don't work well with shouty voices, try again a little more gently" helps as long as you talk gently too.

Try not to respond to rude requests or the " do not say that to me mum" type things. No response at all, no even shock. model the phrases you want in the way you would good behaviour. It's hard when she's pushing your buttons really well expecting a response though.

Good luck " this too shall pass"

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Mon 10-Jun-13 16:34:10

I would ignore and restate the orginal statement in a slightly different way "It's time to get dressed, do you want to wear your blue skirt or the red one?" "Time to tidy up, who can put away the most bricks, mummy or x?"

debbie1412 Mon 10-Jun-13 16:36:38

How do you not laugh at that??

ipanicked Tue 11-Jun-13 20:13:36

My 2yo DD says exactly that!
I have to confess having a finger wiggled at me and being told off crossly with "mummy don't speak me like that!" by someone so small makes me want to grin

Thea that sounds like good advice. I'm watching with interest cos I have no idea what to do. I just sound like a broken record all day trying to respond mildly with "DD please speak nicely"

vladthedisorganised Wed 12-Jun-13 10:28:48

Exactly ipanicked. Using the 'calm voice' all day is so stressful!

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