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3 year old - playing with willy

(10 Posts)
QTPie Mon 27-May-13 09:10:37

DS has long since been "aware" - found it in the bath at 5 months.

He has been out of nappies, during the day, for about 7 months, but in recent weeks has discovered "easy access" and I would say is "enjoying himself" (rather than completely ransomed tugging). Mainly at home (infront of the TV), but his dad did have to stop him on a trolley in Waitrose earlier this weekend.

I tend to say "hands out of pants please, wait until bath time to play with willy" (don't want to restrict him from doing it completely - and get a complex - but really don't want him doing it in public or on the sofa whilst watching TV with me or anyone else...). However this is - at the moment - falling on deaf ears.

Anything that I can do to encourage him to not do it in public without either giving him a complex or making a game out of it?

cathan Mon 27-May-13 13:22:38

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. With my DS at about the same age, we just kept removing his hand and reminding him that willy touching was for "private" moments (in bed, bath etc) not public. With firmness (and repetition) we were eventually able to get him to understand. Later, when we had the "inappropriate touching" talk, we were able to explain that no one should ever touch him in his private area and that if they tried he should shout and tell us which was easy for him to understand. Hope this helps.

quickchat Mon 27-May-13 13:51:35

Hi, My 1st DS was not bothered by his bits until recently - now 6! My DD is 3.5 and goes around with her hands in her pants at times and I just tell them not to put their hands down there it's dirty, all pee and poo and make them wash their hands.
The reason I do this is they hate having to go and wash their hands so as soon as the hands start wandering and I say "hands out" they quickly remember and stop.

Im totally amazed at my 9 month old DS who keeps hold of it whenever the nappy is off shock. All the way through bath time! I think he is convinced someone is going to steal it!

I don't think we should go down the inappropriate route. It's us that feel that as adults. What they are doing is totally innocent and they will never comprehend where we are coming from. Just tell them it's dirty down there because of pee.

CreatureRetorts Mon 27-May-13 19:37:45

Telling them it's dirty down there will give them a hell of a complex.

scaevola Mon 27-May-13 19:44:10

I was rather hearty about this. And told them it was like picking their nose - something everyone does but no-one else wants to watch - so in private only.

QTPie Mon 27-May-13 21:11:48

Thanks ladies.

I actually used to tell DS not to touch his willy "because it was dirty" when changing his nappies (at about 6 to 12 months old). Because, generally, it was dirty (I.e. wee/poo). Then I had a horrible realisation that he thought his willy was called his "dirty": I asked him where his dirty was and he touched his willy. I realised that this really wasn't a constructive term to use: private parts are not (in themselves) "dirty". So I ditched that and just told him not to touch his willy and to "save it for bath time": that did work for nappy changes.

It just seems that now he is 3 (and independence and challenging boundaries is "the in thing"), that his "new found enjoyment of his willy" outweighs my requests not to touch itin public. Guess that I will have to continue to be firm and repeat it.


dyslexicdespot Tue 28-May-13 11:02:50

I agree with everyone that has warned against calling a penis/vagina dirty. It is never a good idea to teach a child that part of their body is unclean. Just imagine the impact this attitude will have on them once they are old enough to have sexual relationships!

CreatureRetorts Tue 28-May-13 14:00:20

My ds is a willy fiddler. However he doesn't do it when out as he's distracted. Maybe give him a toy or something to hold if words don't get through.

debbie1412 Tue 28-May-13 22:52:23

My ds2.9 just started to take a keen interest in his. I'm dreading this :-(

DaveMccave Tue 28-May-13 22:58:05

My dd was the same at that age. I told her if she wanted to do that she should go to her bedroom as it was private. After tv being constantly turned off and sent to her bedroom she rarely does it anymore so I assume it sunk in.

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