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Failing DS as a parent (long!!)(5 Posts)
Truthfully? Your DH needs to get over himself and start taking DS to groups if they were benefitting him! How old are the twins? Can you go to mixed-age groups, or even soft play, so that they can come along too?
Can you get a couple of slings so that you and DH can each strap a baby onto your chest, means you can still play with DS? I appreciate it must be incredibly hard work at the moment however try to see it from DS's perspective - he's gone from having all your attention every day just the 2 of you, to virtually none of your attention it's no wonder he's finding ways to act out. If your DM is there most days you effectively have 3 adults caring for 3 children during the day, can you take DS out somewhere each day just the 2 of you (fitted around feeds, obviously)? Are the twins in a routine of any sort yet?
I have 3, 2.5 years between each set.
You feel exactly how you should feel when 1 new baby comes along never mind two!!
It is normal and natural to worry endlessly about your 'previous baby' and the lack of attention they seem to be getting when others come along.
I cried, mumsnetted and generally felt terrible about DS1 when DD came along then again about DD when DS2 came along. IT passes. They eat shit for a good year, they get moaned at more and they watch way too much tv. Your house looks awful and a good day is when EVERYONE has clean pants on! You and your DH will fight about who does what, when and then before you know it, you are sitting smuggly on mumsnet giving advice to some other poor soul going through something you only just remember!!
My 3rd is now 9 months so the guilt has subsided but the other two are eating nonsense (if there is food in) and the house still looks rubbish most days. Oh and DH is still getting on my nerves!
I do remember getting back into a better routine with cooking etc when DD got to about 1.5 and it quickly turns around.
Just be smug about the porridge and make sure snacks are healthy.
Try to stop beating yourself up. You have a 2.5 yr old and twins and of course things are upside down.
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