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how do I get my seven year old ds to get ready for school in the mornings without the constant nagging?

(26 Posts)
chocoholic05 Thu 23-May-13 22:04:35

He knows what he needs to do. Get dressed including his socks and shoes which he is always particularly reluctant to do for some reason! eat his breakfast clean his teeth and wash his face put his coat on by 810 at the latest as we have to walk well over a mile to school. But does he do those things? No he does not! Not without constantly nagging and going on and getting cross! Left to his own devices he'd be in his pjamas till it was time to leave the house. in fact at times he has and we've been late. ds2 aged 5 isn't like this! I know it's half term next week which can't come soon enough so any advice will be implemented after then!

Chicksy Thu 23-May-13 22:06:38

I could have written your post word for word.

ssd Thu 23-May-13 22:07:06

no answer, but if you find it make sure to bottle it, you'd make a bloody fortune

Chigley1 Thu 23-May-13 22:08:46

In answer to your original question: You can't. It's impossible. At least, it i in my experience

Ragwort Thu 23-May-13 22:09:08

My DS is 12 and still hasn't learned .....................even forgetting vital things for school (and no, I don't take them in for him), getting detentions etc still doesn't seem to get it to sink in.


chocoholic05 Thu 23-May-13 22:09:09

I'm not the only one then! I should also add that dh starts work between 630-7 so I'm on my own with the boys!

MacMac123 Thu 23-May-13 22:09:28

With my 4.5 year old I started new rule - 15 mins to get dressed then whatever isn't on will be taken away and you'll go to school in whatever is on (whether that's pjs, naked, one sock). I was quite hoping to take him in his PJs but this worked. It has changed our lives. Even he is happier because I'm not stressed and shouting at him.

FoundAChopinLizt Thu 23-May-13 22:10:30

Have you got a ban on all electronic devices including tv until he is ready and waiting to leave?

jojane Thu 23-May-13 22:12:12

I have before driven off the drive leaving him behind coz he wouldn't get dressed (only reversed off by which time he was running out the door, didn't actually leave him on his own!

chocoholic05 Thu 23-May-13 22:12:44

yes we have therefore its no tv ever in the mornings that is!

MacMac123 Thu 23-May-13 22:12:51

Ps I'm thinking 4.5 sounds a bit young to be so strict but ive got a 6mo as well and dealing with her breastfeeding etc and arguing with him and him not getting dressed was so stressful.
Then other part of it is on school days he's not allowed downstairs now until he's dressed. Once he gets downstairs it's a battle to get him up again as he's watching tv /playing. So getting dressed first helps massively too. No tv or playing until he's dressed.

MacMac123 Thu 23-May-13 22:14:25

Choc am on my own every morning with 2 too. Hence you must win this battle for your own sanity!!

chocoholic05 Thu 23-May-13 22:15:27

its not the tv its the playing with his cars and his brother who is always up and ready in time! He seems to filter everything I say out!

Cyb Thu 23-May-13 22:15:51

Don't let them come downstairs until hey are dressed.

Get all bag coat shoes uniform ready night before (they can do this)

Eat brekkie downstairs , clean teeth downstairs and out. I find it's all the toing and froing up the stairs that takes the time

Also a checklist worked for mine as well

chocoholic05 Thu 23-May-13 22:17:10

I've started trying getting him dressed upstairs but he just carrys his clothes downstairs still in his pjs!

grabaspoon Thu 23-May-13 22:17:17

I do the same with MacMac - we have a rule we go upstairs at 7.45 and he has until the peeps at 800 on the radio and whatever hes wearing is what he will wear to school - we've been up against it a couple of times but so far we've managed. DC is 5.7 but we've done it since he was 4.10

idiot55 Thu 23-May-13 22:18:57

could have written it too.

I have two girls, its a nightmare.

Cyb Thu 23-May-13 22:19:00

Well if he prefers to get dressed downstairs, whatever, but once he's down he's down. Have no toys available and he can't go back upstairs

Casey Thu 23-May-13 22:20:16

When ds1 was about this age we got him an alarm clock. The. We made him a chart and wrote on it each day how long it took him to get dressed and come downstairs for breakfast. With the idea that he would get a little reward if he was faster on average each week.

But actually it worked almost instantaneously and he was dressed and downstairs within minutes of his alarm going off!

... Never quite mastered the washing business though! He's a hulking six foot teenager now, and still seems reluctant to wash! LOL

Kiriwawa Thu 23-May-13 22:20:58

It's better than it used to be round here but when it was a real struggle, using a stopwatch worked really well. I got him trying to beat his best times every day and he got dressed at lightning speed!

MaryQueenOfSpots Thu 23-May-13 22:38:52

I'm trying sheer bribery at the moment with DS who is 4 and in year R at school.

He earns 10p a sticker for the following activities:

One sticker for dressing himself during the time it takes to play one song on the ipod
One for cleaning his teeth
One for putting his plate in the dishwasher
One for doing his reading
One for handwriting

Over a week he usually has enough to spend £2 on a Ben 10 figure in a foil bag (or some other equivalent tat). He doesn't get any other pocket money so this is his means to get some.

Not sure how its going to work out in the longer term, but I was going bonkers with shouting and had to try something.

I'm watching the thread for any other ideas too..,

SkivingAgain Thu 23-May-13 22:41:07

It's easy. Wait 8years sorry, that's not helpful

ToffeeWhirl Thu 23-May-13 22:41:42

Lay DS's clothes out the night before (put socks in shoes)
Set alarm for 15 minutes earlier than usual
Get DS to get dressed before breakfast (in spite of inevitable food spillage)
No telly (can see you are doing that already)
Reward chart (let him choose what his reward will be for being ready on time - from a limited list of your choosing, of course)
Lots of praise
Aim to leave 15 minutes earlier than usual then you won't be so stressed by the last-minute stuff (eg. my 7-year-old son always needs to go to the loo urgently just as we are about to set off angry)

It also helps if there is a friend he can meet on the way. My DS has taken a shine to a girl in his class and she walks the same route about the same time as us. If I mention that he might miss her, he hurries up!

This is far from fool-proof, but it all helps. Have also threatened to take DS to school in his PJs, but never yet had to carry out the threat because he seems to know I'm serious <disappointed>.

TigerSwallowTail Thu 23-May-13 22:46:49

This used to be a nightmare for me too, but then I gave him a designated period of time to get ready in the morning and if he got ready in that time then he could play with his cars, Lego, whatever it was he was in the mood for that morning. Now if he takes longer to get ready he gets less 'play time'. It's worked well with us.

Iwaswatchingthat Thu 23-May-13 22:49:56

I find putting the burglar alarm on as we are about to leave increases the momentum to get shoes on, pick up book bags and get out the door. They have less than a minute until the alarm goes off.

My two (8&6) not too bad now, but I do remember the years of "get your shoes on, get your shoes on, shoes on, shoes on, shoes, shoes, shoes" <falls to the floor weeping>

Stress back sweat before 8am was regular.

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