I've seen threads on MN about parents who's dc are struggling with phobias and anxiety, so I thought I'd share a story of hope.
My ds(10) has been severely flight phobic for years, his issues were so severe that the last time we tried to take him on a flight he had a panic attack so severe he was hospitalised (he had been unaware of how scared he would be and neither DH or I were aware of a potential problem). His phobia started after a bad experience, the plane he was on had to make an emergency landing and he was injured in the process. Shortly after that incident his birth parents were killed in a car crash, he was an emotional wreck. It was only after he came to me any my DH that we discovered the flight phobia, we decided that ds needed professional help both for the phobia and the grief and trauma of his parents' deaths.
That's the background, now to the positive.
After 3 years of therapy, nightmares, tears, bouts of anxiety and being his own worst critic, we have had a massive breakthrough. DS managed a short flight without a panic attack! We were only in the air for 15 minutes before he started to get uncomfortable, but given that only 12 months ago he would get anxious at the sight of a model plane the breakthrough is enormous. I cannot begin to describe how proud I am of ds and how far he has come! There is still a lot to do, but his therapist believes that the hardest step is now behind us.
There is hope, good therapy can help. The journey can be long, brutal and unforgiving...but for ds it was worth it.