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Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

(1000 Posts)
blueblackdye Tue 21-May-13 21:08:55

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

rosiedays Thu 19-Sep-13 12:44:08

Kinky huge huge hugs. I remember that feeling well. My 2 were little then too. i spent days and days with music turned up really really loud dancing round house with baby in my arms and dd1 dancing round my legs. They got me through some dark dark days
So glad scarecrow and your mum were there for you. Stay strong. Your in my prayers

sparklysapphire Thu 19-Sep-13 14:43:37

I just wanted to say to knicky, I'm so sorry you're going through such a miserable time at the moment. I'm glad your mum and scarecrow have been able to help. Thinking of you.

Eagle, I hope tonight is better, and if it is teething then at least you know it's not serious, even though it's not pleasant for any of you.

Rosie, it sounds very stressful with your tenant, I hope it gets resolved to your satisfaction quickly.

Thank you all for the welcome and congratulations. DD2 has finally nodded off - but needs changing - again. She hasn't slept much during the day the last couple of days so I think she may be growing as she seems to be permanently hungry. DH is doing the school run so I'm off for a quick snooze. I know (this time round) it doesn't go on forever and we'll eventually settle into a pattern, but I'm pretty tired now. She is however sleeping reasonably well at night so I can't complain too much!

PuddingAndHotMilk Thu 19-Sep-13 19:21:39

Ok, apologies for the length of the post blush but I'm back and wanted to catch up properly not just say hi and run x

Rosie, we're off on Oct 31st. Are you planning to go sometime still? I'm starting to wonder how we will take everything we need! Sorry to hear you're having a nightmare with tenants, hope the court will help get things sorted so you can move forward.

Congratulations Sparkly I am sure DH will bond soon once he gets a squishy newborn cuddle...

Scarecrow, thanks. It's good to know its not just me. I just feel like its Groundhog Day. I adore DD but I get no respite and its so damn hard some days. sad

She doesn't sleep too well overnight so I don't get more than 2/2.5 hour chunks of sleep and that kills me. I'm used to being good at stuff and I'm constantly doubting myself and my confidence has done a runner!

I'm hating being so dependent on DH too - he works long hours and a stressful job so I want him to get some downtime but also feel like screaming "when do I get time off". But DD is thriving (gained 4lb in 7 weeks since birth) so I wouldn't swap the Bf'ing for all the respite in the world!

It sounds like you're doing a great job and being unduly hard on yourself re the potty training? This parenting lark is certainly hard work that's for sure!

Eagle, it's only just hitting me recently how much the birth affected me and I'm grieving for what didn't happen. Because of the shoulder dystocia I will have to be in the delivery suite if I ever do this again so again liable to be medicalised. She appears to be perfect but we didn't have skin-to-skin til nearly an hour after birth. No delayed cord clamping. No physiological 3rd stage. I'm annoyed that I'm so upset by this tbh and I know we are both fine and that's the important bit. I just feel a bit cheated given how hard I worked for the prior 46 hours... I need to just let it go but I don't seem to be able to.

I hope your DD is better today, it's heartbreaking when they're clearly in pain and you don't know what to do. It does sound like teething. Poor lil mite. thanks

BabyPud has had some very 'colicky' evenings and times when she'll scream at my boob then scream for it. She doesn't know where to put herself and I can't stand not being able to make it better.

Blueblack I'm so sorry about your ring - like Rosie I'm sending 'find it' vibes. Failing that, the kind karma fairy will find a way to repay you. thanks

Knicky we've not met yet (I don't think) but I'm sending warm thoughts your way. How horrid for you - glad you've got some RL support thanks

rosiedays Thu 19-Sep-13 21:13:48

Today has been yom bassel!! I have a headache and I'm shattered. Where has my happy baby gone and can i have her back please.
Sprinkling lots of sleeping dust over all the babies.
Repeat this to shall pass
next week will be easier (

somewherebecomingrain Thu 19-Sep-13 21:32:14

knicky i'm so sorry about your DH. I hope this is the trigger for him to grow up/develop/get a better relationship with himself, as I imagine some low self-esteem issues must have peversely driven him to this self involved act of arrogance.



blueblackdye Thu 19-Sep-13 21:47:27

Just a quick post to say hello to all, I m exhausted tonight.
A has made a humongous poo. TMI. At 4.30pm, I showered her as she was soiled, solid medium size, nothing to worry. Then put her to play in her bathtub, turned my back 5 sec to put her cloth in laundry basket, realised with horror she had done it in her bathtub, took her out to shower her again, while I was rinsing her, she did it again, on my hand and it went on for 3 minutes, she was squatting as Asian (babies) do. I promise I can tell that her tummy has lost 2/3rd of it size afterwards. Not runny or anything but just a lot went out, very surprising as she has not been constipated.... Glad se did not do it in a nappy, because I m sure it would not have been possible to contain the amount even with a size 6 !

On a more serious note, Knicky, thinking of you, so sorry you have to go through this, I m sometimes scared this happens in my relationship too, don't beat yourself, he made the wrong choice and he knows it, you have great support I m sure from your Mum and our wonderfully generous lovely Scarecrow.

Rosie and all of us, wishing us a good night sleep, tomorrow will be another day

EagleRay Thu 19-Sep-13 21:52:26

Pudding you STILL ARE good at stuff, and it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job with DD. I totally get what you say about the birth, and (in my opinion) it just isn't good enough to say 'well at least you've got your baby now and nothing else matters'. I was like a wounded animal for a long time after the birth and felt angry about how it had gone. I also got angry with DP (there were so many flashpoints in the early days) and I can remember one night he made some sort of comment and I picked up the pizza he'd just handed me and flung it across the room at him, plate and all. He ducked and it hit the wall then slid behind the armchair. A couple of days later, there was a MW sat in the same chair and there I was trying to pretend that I was coping and I could see a circular imprint of tomato sauce overlaid onto the Farrow and Ball. Anyway, you find your way, your life is not as you know it but it's still good. The housework went to hell in a handcart today and I taught myself to crochet while DD napped for 4 whole hours!!

As for feeling cheated, I blamed my stupid old body for failing me and not knowing what to do but have since found out that my super-fit sister had almost exactly the same birth with her first baby and she was at least 10 years younger at the time! Does your health authority offer you the chance to talk through the birth and your medical notes? We have it here and I think in time I will make an appointment as there were certain aspects of my birth which really shouldn't have happened and I would like to at least have that acknowledged, however grateful/lucky I am to have DD.

If you ever want to meet up (not sure where you are exactly but know you are driveable distance!) then please let me know (although I won't be the slightest bit offended if you don't want to). Scarecrow and Seaside can (hopefully) vouch for me being reasonably normal smile

BBD sorry I meant to post about your ring before but I forgot - I'm so sorry you've lost the stone, especially as it's so special. I would be desperately upset too if it happened to me.

Today has been a lot quieter on the teething/illness front. DD slept all afternoon and ate her dinner happily (Malay curry and a little piece of biscotti which made her growl happily as she demolished it). Am hoping for a reasonably peaceful night but we shall see..

Rosie hope a happy Rosebud returns to you soon

EagleRay Thu 19-Sep-13 22:00:31

Brilliant BBD - a poo story to cheer us all up! I wonder how much weight A lost with that one confused

One more thing I meant to say was (sorry for all my lengthy posts) was that I visited another nursery at last - DD starts at the nursery I liked on Monday but still wanted to visit this other one just to satisfy myself. Was really surprised when I looked around as it looked and felt amazing - very spacious and quiet with different activity rooms and the most amazing equipment (lots of lovely wooden toys and imaginative constructions for play etc). They had so many good ideas and it was the sort of place I suppose that you would really want your child to get the chance to enjoy.

However, I still feel I made the right decision with the other nursery because I have that enduring memory of DD sat astride the rocking snail with his broken horns and she looked so pleased with herself, plus the keyworker saying that if I didn't have time to give DD her porridge at home they would make it for her when she arrived, and made exactly how she liked it. The nursery I chose isn't as impressive and shiny looking but the care really stands out. But let's see what happens on monday when I leave her there!

PuddingAndHotMilk Thu 19-Sep-13 23:53:55

Eagle thanks. I'd love to meet up, I think I'm about 20 miles from you. Will pm you later/tomorrow.

Rosie, hope your day's improved.

BBD - quite a poonami by the sounds of it - clearly a clear out was needed smile

Night all thanks

somewherebecomingrain Fri 20-Sep-13 08:18:58

Ps knicky not to excuse him but there is obviously a part of him that knew it was wrong and is a good person as he didn't go through with it. Not to excuse him in any way. I hope that person is the stronger one inside him rather than the other person who did wrong.

Sorry for yom Basel day rosie at least it IS an aberration.

bbd AMAZING poo story. I love a good poo story. Have I told you the one about my sons poo ending up through a series of mishaps and child contacts on my sisters vintage designer dress? I have now I guess.

eaglE am pondering your list. rosie hats off to ethical landlady. I hope there is a way to balance that with security.

knickyknocks Fri 20-Sep-13 09:02:37

Thank you everyone. DH still at MIL, but Mum is here to help. somewhere you are right, he didn't go through with it. Ultimately I think this has been about his low self esteem, making our marriage a very low priority and just drifting along. We have spoken and we have been very candid about how we've been feeling. We will both go to counselling. He needs to talk about what drove him to do this. I'm still unsure whether we can get past this, but I want to try - rather, I want us both to try. But regaining someone's trust is difficult to say the least.

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 09:13:19

Grrr just lost epic post. Will try again.

pudding envy Dahab. I believe its really quite at the moment so you will have the sea and beach to yourselves. (My favourite Dahab.
I to have not quite forgiven by body for it's spectacular child birth failure. Having had 2 easy natural births i had every faith it knew what to do. Was sure the pessary would jog its memory and it would be straightforward from there. I still have flash backs to the pain when they took the blood sample from her head.i resent the midwife for not properly guiding me with regards to pain relief. She should have known how much that was going to hurt and made sure i had proper pain relief. I had several debriefs with wise friends and it has really helped. Time does too. A couple of weeks ago it was more raw than it is now. flowers

Poo Story's are my favourite! !! Always get a good laughfrom a poo

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 09:20:52

Miss adventure. And you all tell them so well.
Eagle love your lengthy posts keep them coming.
Kk. It can be done. I really hope it works out for you. You sound like you're thinking clearly and making a positive plan. [Wine]

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 09:25:54

Rosebud fed most of the night but it was calm snuggly feeding with hour naps in between. I put her in a sleep sac for first time and it think it helped keep her dozy while she fed. I also didn't bother sliding her back into cot so she was always close by

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 10:03:10

Yesterday afternoon/evening was a mammoth screen fest. At one point I found myself trying to do the car paperwork with a screaming baby in my arms while the women's 2.5 year old put his dirty shoes on my (slightlywonky) sofa, pulpulled all the windmills from my ( work in progress) herb gardens. Played with dd toys with snotty hands and ate my last banana. I looked up to see dh sneaking to the back of the garden with a cigarette! !!! Words were had!!
I explained to dh that i am exhausted, bone pain tired. That more than 2 month of not enough sleep is catching up and i need help. He was lovely and agreed to help more then asked what he can do. We have agreed he will take dd after her early morning feed and not wake me when he comes to bed. We'll see

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 10:09:59

Last night was fun moon so hopefully life ( and babies and dh's) will start to flow calmly again for all of us.
Off to make myself a lovely coffee as rosebud has finished feeding (for now) an is chewing her hand happily in the crib.

EagleRay Fri 20-Sep-13 11:00:33

Baby Eagleray here - what is it with these mummies? They're never happy. I slept for 12 hours last night after finding a really comfy position in my cot (face down, sideways, wedged right at the end). She came running in after her alarm went off looking like shock shock shock

Baby A - am loving your poo work - will try saving mine up and see if I can do the same wink

somewherebecomingrain Fri 20-Sep-13 12:18:59

babyeagle it's baby some here. I too feel I must keep up with A. I don't think I got enough credit for hosing the shelving unit down with a projectile poo at two weeks, such that my bro was still pointing poo splats out to mummy weeks later.

What is up with your mummy! You get nice and comfy and she freaks out! Bet she was surprised you did that after 4 hours nap yesterday. My mummy was watching this thread with interest to see what the consequences of that were.

Hey why don't you keep your mummy guessing and do something totally different with your sleep now? They love it!


scarecrow22 Fri 20-Sep-13 12:54:52

hi babies, it's T here. In fact we've met I think grin I'm the one that smile all the time (the only way I get a look in with the bossy toddler climbing all over MY mummy hmm ) you are doing well keeping mummies on their toes. I've decided to wake up more often at night. You see I used to wake, look about and go back to sleep, but last week I thought I'd chat to Spot the Dog at 4am and it turns out mummy was awake anyway. So to be kind I let her cuddle me and give me milk (which was luckily quite nice). Now I figure, hey, if she's awake I might as well do it every morning. Yummy mmyumm.
Also have you tried this food stuff? it's pretty amazing because it tastes.lovely and you get it AS WELL as milk. Result. Though I have eaten every spoonful so far and I don't want to spoil mummy so I might refuse something later. Maybe this evening when she has friends over so I have an audience wink
Okay, don't sleep through too much or mummy will start muttering about self settling (wt??)
Hope to catch you soonots.of smile grin smile
T xx

scarecrow22 Fri 20-Sep-13 12:57:30

PS have you tried throwing in an unexpected night poo? That caused quite a kerfuffle yesterday, especially as mummy Scarecrow put her finger in my nappy to check and got a great squidge ormf butternut poo on it. Amateur.

blueblackdye Fri 20-Sep-13 13:05:16

To all babies, lets keep changing our sleep patterns so that our Mums just don't know where to turn ! That would be funny !!!

Another poo story. I had a work meeting this morning at my flat. Dropped the kids, came back home 15 min before meeting, thought lets open the windows and have fresh air, opened the bottom sash in the dining room, which communicates with the living room, double aspect rooms, very nice. The sash have child restriction thingy on, need a kind of screw driver to remove them. Went to the kitchen to tidy up. Came back to the dining, left straight away, a bird has come inside and could not find its way out, it was flying and banging on windows. I am scared of birds and even more scared when they are disstressed and trapped. Client arrived, had to ask him to go in the living room to get paperwork, he kindly offered to open the sash, we could not hear any bird activity so I went in, found the screw driver, opened 1 top sash completely, as I was going for the paperwork, the robin flew out from behind the kids desk and out of the window, leaving poo everywhere, on floor, shelves, sheepskin.... And paperwork of course !!!
My fault for having so many green plants inside and picture windows, the robin must have thought hum, looks nice and cosy in here ! Note to my self, if one glass breaks put stained glass ! Very unlikely though as they are double glazed.

Cleaner is in today, have put a tight on the hoover, maybe she will get lucky with finding the stone. Spoke and told Mum about the loss, she did not make it any easier as she said Dad had chosen the most flawless biggest stone he had, 7 carats, feel even more blue. Sentimental value more than anything. Bouh I m so silly. But now what is the point of having such a valuable item and not wearing it ?

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 13:13:23

Baby rosebud here taking notes for further fun. Must pull an poonarmie soon not do one for a while.
My mummy must have learnt from your mummy daby scarecrow coz she let me stay in her bed and have milk all night. I did let her sleep some and I've we've been chatting all morning. Thinking of having a nap now as mummy wants to get me changed to go out.
Chat later.

Mummy rose here. Having morning from hel with neighbours. Police called twice

scarecrow22 Fri 20-Sep-13 17:39:06

O.M.G. Babies do not, I repeat do NOT let mummy feed you avocado. Bleurghhhh. I spat it out again and again and still it kept coming. I had to cry and sov and make the toddler cry. That'll show her.

rosiedays Fri 20-Sep-13 18:05:11

I've just found my bottom lip and can make a new blub blub sound I've been doing it for an hour now and mummy and daddy keep laughing at me. What is it with these parents!

EagleRay Fri 20-Sep-13 18:19:28

Oh poor you Baby T - not the avocadon't - bleurgh. Fruit from the devil's garden, I tell you. Mummy tried this one on me a while back and it made me want to cry too. However, guacamole is another matter... see if you can order some next time Mummy takes you to a restaurant. If she's a bit reluctant to give you any then just do some screaming and she will hand it over if she's got any sense. Good work with the night poo - totes amateur your mummy is. I did a nasty night poo the other night - it was so bad Daddy had to deal!

Baby Somewhere I agree with the random night wakings - it's not going to do any good allowing mummy to settle into a routine at this point. You're making a rod for your own back if you start letting her think she can sleep for 4 hours at a time!

Well I did my best on the poo front today - challenging environment for nappy changes as we were in a National Trust park. I held on then let it all out in one noisy, squirty go! Mummy waited until we got home to change me and it freaked her out as it was luminous green! She also forgot to take some lunch for me and so I was given falafel and cheesy quavers (not sure she would have admitted to that one on here)

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