Year 6 DD - just not into school work - how do I motivate her?

[millietwoshoes]

Hello, I have a year 6 dd who is just not motivated at school. She is above average ability but is only just maintaining average, she enjoys school but is just lazy with her homework.
She is just about to go into year 7 and I am worried that she will slip as the social side will take over and we have less involvement.
I found her homework sheet this week and she had put a line through her test scores to stop me seeing them and she says that she is embarrassed to reveal her test scores at school as they are so bad!
This week I stopped her going to a local youth club as I have explained that school work must come first - I talked to her very calmly & said that this was not a punishment but we would like to see her take more responsibility for her work and work to her potential as she is v v clever etc etc.
However, tonight she sneaked off to watch television knowing that her homework (due in tomorrow) is still not done !
I don't know what to do - I don't want to keep punishing her and stopping her doing more grown up things. I also don't want to keep arguing with her about it.
Any advice please......

[Kafri]

In all honesty, i'd be going back to basics of checking what hw needs to be done and checking it was done. It doesn't have to be a childish 'checking up' but could be in a conversation as she gets in from school.

Could you perhaps sit with her to do her homework and help her with it, or at least be on hand? She may be struggling a bit some of the work but if she's one of the bright kids, might be getting missed by the teachers (not intentionally of course)

I know she's starting to grow up and get a bit of independence but when those year 7s walk into secondary school - well, it's a shock to the system being the small ones again and the big ones (yr 11) look soooo big. This helps some kids to refocus themselves, as they're used to being top of the tree at primary so going to a new school and having to start from scratch and build those relationships is tough. especially when you throw the added independence and puberty and boys etc in there too

[Kafri]

Oh and reward reward reward for positive outcomes!

[lljkk]

You sound a bit pushy but also inconsistent.

Mine have to do homework before allowed screen time. it's a simple system and they can choose not to comply.
The quality of their work is up to them, though. I wouldn't punish by withdrawing activities.

[waterrat]

op have you considered pulling back a bit and in particular stopping the 'you are so clever' talk - I was a very difficult child and I look back and think that I was told far too often that I was bright - it meant that I didn't think I ought to have to try....

I have read recently that there is a lot of research that children who are constantly praised for 'outcome' ie. results and told they are bright are far less likely to work hard. Children who are praised for effort and never told that it is good to be 'clever' are more likely to enjoy working for its own sake.

change tack and stop telling her how clever she is - let her take responsibility for getting bad marks - if she gets bad marks, in what way is she bright or clever? She needs to know that if she gets bad marks people will assume she is not good at the subject - the whole idea that she is accepted as 'bright' when she does badly is surely not good for her?

Maybe as someone else says, make her do the work but pull back on the results. Let her live with the consequences and feel what it is ike to be seen as bottom of the class.

[millietwoshoes]

Thanks for the moral support lijkk - I assumed that this forum was a non-judgemental support network!!!

Thank you to everyone for their advice - all v helpful and definitely worth considering and working on.

[Startail]

I'm puzzled, a English Y6 will have just done SATs.
I doubt she has any tests or HW of any importance this week???

[millietwoshoes]

English year 6 and we have been having tests for weeks and yes, she had homework this week!