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7 months today and finally feel like I've bonded with ds......

(6 Posts)
dandycandyjellybean Sun 21-May-06 21:37:56

Had a really fantastic pg but a horribly traumatic birth and felt for at least the first 3 months that I just wanted ds to go away so we could just go back to being us (married for 17 yrs before ds). However, for the last few months have gradually started to really enjoy ds, and tonight have 3 times had to get him out of his cot (whilst sleeping soundly I might add) just so that I could hold him and hug him, coz I just absolutely had to, love him soooooooo much.... anyone else take this long to really truly bond with their babies, or am I just weird?

moondog Sun 21-May-06 21:38:48

Lovely cubby!

It took me a fair bit too,it has to be said.
I drag them out for a cuddle too!

mumfor1standfinaltime Sun 21-May-06 21:41:14

Cubby you are def not weird. I also had a traumatic birth with ds (em c section) and found first few months very hard. Was thinking more about crap labour and getting over that, and 'forgetting' about bonding with ds!
You are not weird and not alone and I feel better now too knowing I am not alone lol!

laluje Sun 21-May-06 21:42:19

Trust me you're not weird. I longed for a baby and it took me a good few weeks to bond what I would call properly. It's a strange thing this motherhood lark!

rabbitrabbit Sun 21-May-06 21:42:21

Hi cubby, I'm really really pleased for you.
I too had a traumatic birth and whilst it didn't affect bonding it did bring on PND and one GP even suggested post traumatic stress so I know how difficult it is to try and return to any normality-particularly when its a "new normality".

It will only get better and better from now on and I hope you look back at some point, like I did, and don't so much remember the trauma but the first cuddle.


dandycandyjellybean Sun 21-May-06 21:52:40

Thanks so much for all your 'really speedy' replys. It's kind of weird, coz it's only now that I'm really thinking about the crap labour etc, all I could think of before is how much I just wanted things to go back to 'normal'. However, I have recently started taking ad's, even though things are better than they've been since he was born. But, i grew up with a mother who suffered with depression all of my childhood, and even though the bad times were truly AWFUL I couldn't even enjoy the good times because I was always just waiting for 'the other shoe to drop' so to speak, and all I could think was I didn't want to do this to my ds, so in the end I have resorted to ad's (and lots of exercise at the gym for the added seratonin)!!!. Am feeling pretty good at the mo, as I say, and am finally totally in love with my completely scrumptious ds, so if anyone else out there is suffering in a similar way, don't worry, it all comes to those who wait. And as everyone else says, you're not weird....

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